[Zen888]

As some of you may remember my car has been broken into several times since this past spring. Whomever is doing this is just leaving my driver's side door unlocked and not entering my car. Before I leave my car to go inside, I do a visual check of all the locks on my car, then I do a manual check to see if any of the doors will open, and then I set the car alarm. Sometimes my lock is unlocked everyday and sometimes weeks go by without it being touched. And it happens at all hours of the day and night. I also have a steering wheel lock. The alarm company told me that the alarm will not go off if someone is using some tool that goes between the window and the door to unlock the door.

The other matter that is upsetting me is minor but I cannot figure out the logic in it. We had new sod intalled around our townhouses in the common property areas. Some of the sod didn't grow and is now dead. The Board said that the sod that was dead would be replaced. But my neighbor said that the board now wants the owners to replace the sod themselves because the Board doesn't have the money to do so. A couple of weeks ago, I received a newsletter in my mail box telling me that there would be new windows installed in some of the townhouses. My question is if they can afford to put a hole through a wall and install a new window then why can they not afford some sod? Doesn't make sense?! Are they just passing the buck along...not wanting to take responsiblity?

[Trying & Caring]

Welcome to the world of the insanity of HOA. You need to figure out if these issues are so important to fight or if they are causing you too much stress. It is sometimes impossible to change these kinds of things & it is hard for me to disengage. I have an intense sense of right & wrong--but through DBT I came to realize I cannot change many situations or attitudes & I have to de-escalate my emotions about these things--they are not life & desth.

When I feel I need to fight for something, I do. But I've had to give up trying to herald practically world peace in the way I would take on my campaigns. I would fight people that I could not possible win against. Choose your battles; try to keep your life as stress free as possible. Is this worth your time & effort & emotional involvement or is it something that is repugnant, but something you can't "cure"?

I've had to give up on righting every wrong & trying to make the world (& family members) conform to my values so that I will feel "safe." If someone is totally out of line in what I believe that is different. I will not remain friends w/that person but I cannot change or control the world--much as I would like to...

sorry you're scared

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((( Zen )))))))))))))))))))))))

I am sending lots of hugs
I am sorry that things are going so roughly for you, have you considered putting up some sort survilance camera to try to find out who is doing that to your car?

[ECHOES]

About your car.. I'm wondering if the keypad is getting bumped somehow and unlocking the door?

About the sod/windows. These are two separate projects. I believe these things are regulated by laws that the board must follow. It sounds like the board budgeted just enough to buy the sod and that's it. Too bad they didn't get a guarantee from the supplier.

[Rmdctc]

Sorry this is all happening to you. The car thing is weird. I hope you can find out who is doing it. I wondering if you could put up a camera around the outside of your house that is directed towards where you park your car so you can find out who is doing it?

[Pomegranate]

Zen, it seems like you have done everything you can reasonably do to prevent this from happening. I'm assuming that you no longer leave anything in your car that you don't want stolen. So maybe at this point you should try just ignoring it. I'm sure it's very creepy to have someone unlocking your car all the time, but if there is nothing else you can do to change the situation then it may be time for you to try to accept it and not get yourself stressed about it. I know that isn't easy, but having a stessor go on for this long is not healthy for you at all. And yes, the sod thing makes no sense at all!

[Zen888]

Originally Posted by Pomegranate

Zen, it seems like you have done everything you can reasonably do to prevent this from happening. I'm assuming that you no longer leave anything in your car that you don't want stolen. So maybe at this point you should try just ignoring it. I'm sure it's very creepy to have someone unlocking your car all the time, but if there is nothing else you can do to change the situation then it may be time for you to try to accept it and not get yourself stressed about it. I know that isn't easy, but having a stessor go on for this long is not healthy for you at all. And yes, the sod thing makes no sense at all!

Pom and others,

Whomever is doing this is back at it again! They are unlocking my driver's side door every single day! I feel stressed out and angry! I do have a car alarm and a steering wheel lock but these things don't seem to stop them from unlocking my driver's side door.

Zen ,

for peace of mind check into getting your lock re keyed.

with the new electronc keys tha may not be easy to do . I do not have electronic and Im glad I do not.

unfortuntely theives can pick locks . I had a frat boy doing stuff on ,my property .over the years he was here .

the last event was to take something off my mower and move a cement rabbit on a tree stump facing the front lawn Im responsible for mowing.

The rabbit was hidden on the ground between a couple of pots with trees in them .
this happened on this past April fools and my dog had three sesuires after that a week apart.
The mower I used jut two weeks prior and it was fine. I had the line cut and the bolts to my wheelbarow removed so ther was just one bolt there.

I had repalced the wheel myself a month earlier and it had not been used very much.

that happened the year befor while I was away for a weekend. they live next door.

they also had threatened to poison my dog around that time becuase she would get loose and get in the trash . I happened to walk by and over heard them say it and I had the police show up at thier door and give them a talk.

they may have succeeded.

I know it sounds pretty funny . the little stone rabbit

seems like an innocent prank.

I have had other things done like had paint sprayed on ,my car windows and someone made a bread dough with the word VOODO on it .
It happened right after I reported a man and his girl friend for road rage and I had to call the police. I found out he had just got off work at dominos pizza.

There are mean people out there . please do what ever you can to be safe .

you might need to set up a nanny cam.

I wish I knew how to do that.

Patricia

[ECHOES]

Could the locks be malfunctioning?

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Could the locks be malfunctioning?

I was thnking the same thing.

Zen is there any way you can give your car to someone else you trust for a day and see if they have the same problem?

Its very easy to open a car door from the window or side of the door . So rekeying doesn't solve the problem. now that I think it through.

Also when are you finding the locks up ? In the morning ?

After you go in the store durring the day?

And please . don't feel emabrassed about this stuff.

I have PSTD reactions that get triggered and distraction problems . Not a great combination . It took me a while to see stuff was missing and it was my distraction that was the problem. . But I KNOW I didn't move the bunny...LOL!!!!

One event that happened to me was I found my dogs rope detactched and it looked like someone cut it clean with a knife .
I was certain of it .

Till One day I saw her lunge and the rope broke , and dang if it didn't breack clean like before!

I was so embarrased . But it did show me to think through all possibilites when I get scared . And most of the time the negative is automatic and I have to reassure myself its probably something else.

And I have had plenty of real life stuff happen that makes my mind jump to conclusions.

when stuff like this happens and its REALLY happening we are NOT being repsected and it triggers not feeling safe .

About the sod . Sod does NOT come with guareentees. Most instillations of soding do not cover maintenece .

If over seeding and fertilization / mowing mulching are a part of the maintenece contract then they are done every year. And lawn renovation is an ongoing yearly task.

The sod sounds like a one time deal .. And having sod laid is very generous . Its VERY costly!! looks great . needs to be carefully maintained the first year. In the spring April -May just areate the dead area and sow some seed and make sure it stays watered .
If your in zone 8 or higher you can do it now or have it done.

Patricia

[Zen888]

I wish it could be something as simple as being distracted or a symptom of PTSD...but it is not.

I lock all my doors...then take a visual look at all of them...then I do a manual check to see if the doors will open...then I set my car alarm.

Time of day isn't a factor at all. It happens at all times of the day and night. I live in a townhouse complex so I don't have a garage to park my car in.

When I have parked my car at a grocery store parking lot or where ever else....my locks remain locked. And I do the same checking method every time.

[eskielover]

I have a security car alarm (brand is Viper) on my truck....had it installed after my truck was broken into on my drive back to California 2 years ago. It is wonderful....just press the button & it locks all my doors.....except......

Last night I went to a restaurant after a meeting......thought I had locked the door as I normally do....for some reason, I tried the door & found that it hadn't locked.......low battery on my hand held controller didn't let it lock. If I hadn't tried the door at the time I had, I never would have realized this. I also have found out that if my seat belt doesn't retract & the belt is in the door when it closes, it also won't lock the way it's supposed to.

There are so many things that can malfunction......sometimes we have to sort through those things also to see what might be malfunctioning with the system.

Usually if there is a person trying to harass you by unlocking your locked door all the time, they have to be getting some sort of satisfaction our of driving you crazy......is there anyone around your neighborhood that you think might have a reason to bug you that way like Auroralso said with the frat boy in her neighborhood ? (grrrrrrr!!!)

I remember when my daughter was young, we had just moved into our new home....new neighborhood......new neighbors....everything was new for all of us.......because we moved so far away from work & family, my daughter was going to school & having to come home alone....keep the doors locked & not answer or talk with anyone. At first my daughter was going to the across the street neighbors house but something happened & I didn't want her going there anymore, so she went directly home (we worked 1+ hour away from home). Would have her call & let me know she was home safely everyday. Our neighbors directly next door had 2 girls....the younger one had friends that weren't what we call the best kids in town. One day after my daughter got home, the electricity went out in the house....all the power.....only in our house not the whole neighborhood.....I told her not to open the door or talk with anyone....just watch TV & get homework done until dark. I headed home immediately.....found that someone pulled a prank.....shut off the breaker box outside the house that shut off all the electricity.....easy fix...I put a lock on the box so no one could do that again. My anger that anyone would try to scare my daughter that way.....then found out it was the young boys that came over to my neighbors house to goof around. I couldn't do anything to them for having done that, but made it clear I was unhappy with how they were acting.

I have an automatic garage door opener here at my farm.....there have been several times where I have pushed the button as I walked in the garage door to my house & the door started to come down....not thinking more about it, when I would go out the next morning, the door was open......HMMMMM!!!!! Several days this was happening...I was coming home at the same time........turned out that when the sun was at a certain level it was shining on the sensor that keeps the door from shuting if there is something in the way......the door would start to go down, but then would abort shutting & go right back up. I only found this out when one day I was leaving at that time of day & tried to shut the door from my truck as I was driving away & it wouldn't close.

When it comes to automatic things, there are so many glitches that are possibilities to go wrong let alone if there is someone who might be actually trying to annoy you with the car door thing. If it is a person, all they are trying to do is annoy you....because by this time, they know there is no way they could steal your car.....is there a way you could put something on the door to detect if it's being touched....powder or something sticky that you could see if it's being touched. Cost of a camera set up is pretty expensive on a tight budget

Just thought of the dusting stuff from my dusty counter in my back porch the other night. It had been completely dusty the other day....my puppy pen is infront of it & impossible to get to. I looked at it last night & all across the counter in the dust were strange circle marks with small trails outside the circle....just showed up in the middle of it as if something had jumped on the counter & scooted around. At first all I could think of was how did a mouse make that kind of trail???? I looked closer & in the middle of one of the dust free circles was a large dead fly. All I can think of is that the fly was dying & how they sort of scoot around in circles while they are buzzing & unable to fly. I had to think that through quite a bit before realizing that it must have been the fly as the markings were soooooo strange looking.

I hate it when I can't figure out what is causing something to happen....I can't let up my mind from trying to figure it out until I get an answer that I feel ok with in my mind. I have the same problem with trying to figure out how these huge red wasps keep getting in my house.....with all the windows closed & doors closed....it just doesn't make any sense......I figured out the other day that the tape I had sealing off a whole in the ceiling of my bonus room over the garage had come loose....the heat from my room heater must have disturbed them from their cold winter hibernation.....had several dozen buzzing around.....but after I sealed that back up, I was still finding a couple here & there....think they must be coming through the heat duct system....that is the only in that is open right now......but it sure bugs (literally in this case...lol).....I would imagine that is how somewhat how you are feeling about your car door. I am not good at letting go of something I can't understand until I figure it out.

About the HOA.....yikes.....for several years I was treasurer of the HOA in the first house we owned (a garden home with one attached wall sort of like a duplex). I did such a good job...lol....& no one else wanted to deal with the nightmare. There are separate funds that are set up & money gets set apart for each of the things that have to be covered in order to make sure it adds up over the year for all the repairs. There is an emergency fund that has to have so % of money in it all the time (regulations placed on HOA's at least in California). They can't do anything without all the voting authorization of the Home owners for use of the money either. Sometimes if there is a surplus (which there never seems to be), that money can be voted on to be used for certain things.....it's important to go to all the meetings to make sure they are handling everything appropriately also....I hate the politics of all that.....honestly, it was a nightmare & was the determining factor in selling that first home. Unfortunately when I decided I didn't want anything more to do with it, the housing market was bad....had the home for sale for 7 years before it sold.....back in the 80's. Swore I would never live in another place where a HOA was involved. Being the treasurer, I was so deeply involved with the running of it. We had a billing company that messed up everyone's billing on top of it.....we had 150 owners to deal with....on top of that, I was working my engineering job about 60 hours a week....good thing I wasn't dealing with any mental illness at that time....but it was sure driving me close to going crazy. I did hit a point after several years where I had to resign as I didn't have enough time for work, family (my daughter), & the HOA. Every spare moment was spent solving someone's problem with their dues......I needed to get my life back. I am sure they have someone caring for the lawn...gardeners.....what we did with sod was to take small pieces of the good sod & dig up the dead stuff & put plugs of good sod in the dead areas.....it would finally grow together & look good....longer process & a lot more work.....but cheaper than paying for new sod in those areas. Sod is expensive....& if the ground underneath where they lay it isn't prepared right, there can be stuff in the ground (like building materials that had never been cleaned up & burried) that will continue to kill any sod or grass that is laid there.

Hope you can resolve a few of the things that are going on....just to give you some peace of mind.


Debbie

[SophiaG]

Originally Posted by Zen888

I wish it could be something as simple as being distracted or a symptom of PTSD...but it is not.

I lock all my doors...then take a visual look at all of them...then I do a manual check to see if the doors will open...then I set my car alarm.

Time of day isn't a factor at all. It happens at all times of the day and night. I live in a townhouse complex so I don't have a garage to park my car in.

When I have parked my car at a grocery store parking lot or where ever else....my locks remain locked. And I do the same checking method every time.

but it doesnt make sense that a person would unlock your car just for the hell of it to mess with you and not do it to steal anything. someone has a lot of time on their hands....