Members leaving.

purple_fins · Dec 20, 2009, 05:23 PM

If it's OK for me to say...... what you said here is paramount!

>>I always feel like whatever has happened was caused by me somehow or another, and I honestly just don't have the tools to deal with it. No matter if they are "Real Life" friends or my "online buddies", it hurts just the same. It just seems like life is filled with one rejection after another for me, and it just seems to get harder to cope with each and every year. <<

I can sure understand the hurt when feeling abandoned, it's just that-- are you not making the "exit" all about you? --- the cause was ME, I am being rejected, I feel left behind... etc... etc...
I've learned-- am still learning-- with much help from therapy-- that I have to stop making things all about me. I'm doing CBT with a great therapist and am learning how to change my thinking. I have far to go still, but baby steps are better than no steps. T. keeps showing me how many views there can be besides just mine.... it can be eye opening.

just thought I'd try and help .......

(pegasus-- I understand that it's not just about rejection for you, it's also you feeling sad for those that leave but still need support and are struggling so much. I feel the same as you.)

purple_fins

Fuzzybear · Dec 20, 2009, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purple_fins

Hi Pegasus
(probably don't remember me-- "mandyfins"-- mermaid)
anyway, I understand how hard it is to cope with familiar "faces" going away because their upset/sadness is more than they can handle. It's hard to feel "left behind" or like a small empty hole is left with you.
I left two years ago. I was here from 2005-to the beginning of 2008. I had to leave, it was more than I could cope with. (I hope this time around I can cope with things better... hoping... hoping)
but.... you know what..... I came back.... maybe many of those, that you grew to feel comfortable with, will someday return-- like I did.
I wish that to be true for you.

best to you
purple_fins (I'm a seal now

)

(((((((((((( purple fins ))))))))))))

MissCharlotte · Dec 30, 2009, 11:18 PM

Well, as usual I am so late to this news but I was looking for Muffy today and realized she is gone. It is a great loss to this site.

Muffy--if you can read this--I miss you!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Dec 31, 2009, 01:18 AM

Thats funny, I mean, it's great and all that ppl move on and feel better, get better/are able to managethings on their own, but I say it's funny cuz it reminds me of the many times I thought I was good on my own w/.out therapy but I always went back, but then I am tired of being moved around to other therapists and retelling eveerything I'm done and then I found PC. But who knows, ppl may be back, if anything, wish them the best! =)

ktbug · Dec 31, 2009, 03:49 AM

Sometimes I think that I'm ok. Then I have a bad day or week and I start thinking about the root cause of the problems in my relationship ( or what I think stems from it). I am thankful of this website and all the people that have made me feel not alone and have given me advice. I don't think that I'll ever leave, I'm glad that I'll always have this

mlpHolmes · 09:30 PM

Glad to hear this ktbug!

Holmes

Trying & Caring · Dec 31, 2009, 10:40 PM

I had a post removed in that I had copied & pasted another post from another thread to a different one w/out the permission of the original writer. I was notified immediately by a mod by PM & it was explained to me what I had done incorrectly. So I've had no problem about not being notified & I have notified mods about posts that I thought were offensive, hurtful, rude, etc.

All in all, I think the mods have been very responsive & that the threads are kept "clean" & helpful...

Trying & Caring · Dec 31, 2009, 10:59 PM

It seems to me that I see in the list of posts sometimes that one has been moved to another forum by moderators so it is still there, but under a topic they deem more appropriate.

KathyM, your situation is very similar to mine. Also, I think because what you wrote is very powerful & can be "triggering" to others because the content deals w/suicide, etc. that you should put a trigger icon in there to warn people that it is a moving, but possibly disturbing & triggering post.

Take care...

Quote:

Originally Posted by KathyM

Good morning Doc

It took a lot of pain and courage for me to write my post above. If my post is inappropriate, where should it be moved? Who will respond to my post? What will they say to me?

Elysium · Jan 01, 2010, 01:45 AM

For some that choose to leave, it is a lose/lose situation. If they stay, they lose and if they go they lose too. Sometimes there is no good decision.

Aunt Donna · Jan 01, 2010, 01:46 AM

I personally had to take a break for awhile. It wasn't just from the site but everything. My life was out of control and I had to get counseling again. So here's hoping the people who left will come back.

paddym22 · Jan 03, 2010, 11:32 PM

Personally I had to take a break for a while, I went off the rails and my life became unmanageable. I felt my postings were self indulgent and I was blaming others for my own problems and I disliked what I was posting so I decided to stop, sit back and ride the wave until such a time as I was back to a more even keel. I am not a bad person but I was not giving a good impression in my postings. So I am truly sorry if I offended people by what I was posting, I am not like that at all but I am mentally challenged and do often see the world with blinkers on and can suffer from lack of objectivity and balance. So stepping back and not posting until I was in a better frame of mind was the proper solution in my mind. I am glad to report that after a wonderful christmas at home with family and friends and the wonderful wedding of my brother that I have found myself again. I hope to play a more active role in PC now and be less patronising and more supportive to all my friends. I lost two friends it seems but the 73 odd others have stuck by me and I am truly grateful for this.

Thank you Peg for this thread it is a valuable discussion.

Paddy