Determined? Disciplined?

It seems that you have discipline and determination both:I am much the same way. Once I decide on something, I am 110% into seeing it through. This is not neccasarily a problem: I actually think I am very lucky to have the ability to not give up in my quest, whatever it may be.

I just can't go on without quoting William James (1891):Now back to business...
If we assume all of the above and you still find yourself waiting/wishing for motivation, then we have a paradox.

I've long suspected that quite a few paradoxes center on what we "need" to do. For openers, I submit that if we really needed to do it we'd already be doing it -- so there would appear to be something we need even more than we need to do whatever it is that we're not doing. Resisting doing it would seem to be a way, possibly a maladaptive one, of addressing that need. How's this for an example: I need to shine my shoes but even more than that, I need to show you that you can't make me shine them.

Ouch!

Acting Out?????

I must think about your response FooZe before I have a better reply. Thanks.

I hope others continue to post. It's nice to hear from all.

Although garden-variety acting out could be among the scenarios I'm talking about, just calling a behavior "acting out" doesn't make it that.
-- BrainyQuote (ouch!)

I think part of our paradox here comes from mixing different kinds of motivation and terminology, especially moral and, er, psychological. For instance, if you "need" to do something not only to get it done but to prove that you're not "lazy" or "sloppy" or "acting out" or something, you're just asking for the occasional motivational conflict.

A good way around that is to shine them before anyone else notices they need shining. It's important to stay in the moment, but it doesn't hurt to think ahead and be prepared. So, do you spend your days dancing around making sure no one steps on your Blue Suede Shoes?

Many times I find myself groping for control even among the most minuscule of things (shoe polishing/can't make me). For me, sometimes I act out, mostly because of unresolved resentment.

I've been trying to hit upon the - my moment(s) of time when I "go" into lack of motivation then into depression. Trying to reason what it is for me.

"Reasoning" what something is for me can yield tricky results, depending on where I'm coming from and how I go about it. If I already know what the answer "should" be and try to argue myself into agreeing with it, I'm likely to find myself stuck in something like contradiction, confusion, lack of motivation, or depression. If I'm really looking (and perhaps most important, willing to be surprised) I usually do come up with a clearer perspective on what I need to be doing -- and even find that it's something I'm willing to do.

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I get around the shoe-shining problem quite handily by (1.) owning hardly any shoes that require shining and (2.) having hardly any interest in occasions that call for shiny shoes.

A quick reply...I buff or bristle my nice shoes after removing them with each use! Funny how unique we can all be!

I would like to read through the thread properly soon, but I want to start with saying, that if you have persistence and determination, those attitudes and motivations will already organise discipline naturally.

So if something still gets in the way of your discipline, it's important to examine to what exactly is getting in the way.

And yes, denial of pleasure may be necessary to complete some tasks or achieve certain goals. But I suggest you broaden your repertoire and use other strategies too to be able to do tasks and goals, because not all of them will require so much denial of pleasure. And since the more denial of pleasure you would use where it's not even needed (if that's what the issue is?), the more the motivation for doing the thing will decrease.

It does also matter how much you really align with your motivation for the task or goal, so, I could go deeper into the topic but that's enough for now, I don't want to repeat stuff before reading the rest of the topic. In case it's all been posted already.

PS: I realise this OP isn't fresh but I hope it's OK to post anyway, in case someone finds it helpful? I didn't see a rule against posting in old threads (?)