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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2009
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#21
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__________________ Diane, aka (Research 1) |
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#22
------- Digression alert! ------- I just can't go on without quoting William James (1891):Quote:
------- / digression ------- Now back to business...Quote:
I've long suspected that quite a few paradoxes center on what we "need" to do. For openers, I submit that if we really needed to do it we'd already be doing it -- so there would appear to be something we need even more than we need to do whatever it is that we're not doing. Resisting doing it would seem to be a way, possibly a maladaptive one, of addressing that need. How's this for an example: I need to shine my shoes but even more than that, I need to show you that you can't make me shine them. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#23
Ouch!
Acting Out????? Quote:
I hope others continue to post. It's nice to hear from all. __________________ notz |
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#24
Although garden-variety acting out could be among the scenarios I'm talking about, just calling a behavior "acting out" doesn't make it that.
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I think part of our paradox here comes from mixing different kinds of motivation and terminology, especially moral and, er, psychological. For instance, if you "need" to do something not only to get it done but to prove that you're not "lazy" or "sloppy" or "acting out" or something, you're just asking for the occasional motivational conflict. |
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#25
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#26
Many times I find myself groping for control even among the most minuscule of things (shoe polishing/can't make me). For me, sometimes I act out, mostly because of unresolved resentment.
I've been trying to hit upon the - my moment(s) of time when I "go" into lack of motivation then into depression. Trying to reason what it is for me. __________________ notz |
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#27
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----------------------------- I get around the shoe-shining problem quite handily by (1.) owning hardly any shoes that require shining and (2.) having hardly any interest in occasions that call for shiny shoes. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#28
A quick reply...I buff or bristle my nice shoes after removing them with each use! Funny how unique we can all be!
__________________ notz |
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Member Since Jan 2022
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#29
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So if something still gets in the way of your discipline, it's important to examine to what exactly is getting in the way. And yes, denial of pleasure may be necessary to complete some tasks or achieve certain goals. But I suggest you broaden your repertoire and use other strategies too to be able to do tasks and goals, because not all of them will require so much denial of pleasure. And since the more denial of pleasure you would use where it's not even needed (if that's what the issue is?), the more the motivation for doing the thing will decrease. It does also matter how much you really align with your motivation for the task or goal, so, I could go deeper into the topic but that's enough for now, I don't want to repeat stuff before reading the rest of the topic. In case it's all been posted already. PS: I realise this OP isn't fresh but I hope it's OK to post anyway, in case someone finds it helpful? I didn't see a rule against posting in old threads (?) |
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