I have done well this year, not slipping into my end of the year funk way back in October. But now that I have not much work, and no appointments until the new year, I am left staring at the blank space of my life. I generally try to ignore the holidays out of existence. I have spent most of yesterday and today obsessively checking my email and clicking 'new posts' here at PC. Not that I have much to say to anyone..so I'm not sure what the point of all that is supposed to be.
Today I will go and rent a bunch of boxed sets of DVDs of TV shows I like. That will keep me company until the world gets back to normal.
I have exactly one friend, but I'm not sure I'll see her this week. She knows I am not good company this time of year. I will spend a few hours with my brother and sister at some point. That will be a relief.
I just have to keep my mind occupied enough so that I don't notice that I am the same lonely, isolated person as ever, with no real interests to speak of. I know it is not my fault that I don't really exist, but this time of year makes it hard to keep myself believing that that will ever change.
I guess I will just keep my head down and wait for the world to come back to life in the new year.

[Rmdctc]

I am so sorry you will be alone mostly over the holidays. It can be very disheartening and lonely. Maybe you could volunteer to feed the homeless or spend time at a convalescent home to sit with older people they can also be very lonely this time of year. I know it helps me to feel better to help others.

Thanks Rmdctc. You are right...the best cure for self-pity is indeed to practice compassion for others. I shall have to see what I can find that will involve that in the next few days.

Hello, ripley. But you do exist; and, you are somebody.

Volunteering is an excellent idea. I expect you do have interests you have not pursued. If those interests may be fostered by others (as part of a group or club, for example), you may find your life more interesting and less lonely.

Take the risk to make a better life.

Good luck.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( ripley )))))))))))))
You exist!
TheByzantine said some good words
We're here for you too

[VickiesPath]

My AA sponsor used to tell me to look at my watch, and allow myself 15 minutes for all the self-pity I could muster and really, really get into it heavy for that full 15 minutes. When the time was up, it was time to go find someone to do something nice for. Service work. That's what AA calls it. Getting out of yourself. Wallowing in self-pity creates all kind of misery. And if you are prone to substance abuse, it will lead you there. So, like everyone else said, find someone to do something for. Giving of yourself will surprise you. You will be surprised at how much others will appreciate you and how much you really do exist.

So, it's evening now and I can safely say I survived another Christmas. I did find a couple of things to do for other people. But I also did not run away from the fact that I have to work harder at just coming up with things to be interested in. And I think I need to discuss with my MD whether or not I am not still suffering from some sort of depression. I just really can't come up with anything I want to do when there is nothing someone else wants / needs me to do. I don't know what is normal in this regard. Do healthy people just have some kind of pleasure seeking drive that prompts them to go do stuff? Maybe I am just lazy I don't know..anyhow, thanks for the support. I hope a good enough day was had by all.

If you do not have a lot of interests, perhaps you can start a list of things you have not tried. Who knows, you may find something you like. I think depressed people have to try harder to get past the inertia.

In any event, I am happy that you survived. With some work, maybe next Christmas will be more enjoyable. Good luck.