[Renovation]

I had a former work colleague contact me out of the blue a few days ago asking if I would be willing to be a reference for him. I replied that I would be happy to help him out. I had the call with his prospective boss and gave him a great review, which will likely lead to his getting the job. I would have expected a "thanks for helping me out" either in response to my agreeing to be a reference or after I gave the reference. Just seems downright rude. Here I am helping him get a possibly very well paying job and not a word back. I am Latin and lived in Europe for many years, so am geared to being very polite. I don't think this is cultural. Maybe unique to the region I live in. Sure is bothersome that someone wouldn't take 10 seconds to write: "Thanks for your help. Really appreciate it."

Okay, I agree with you. That said, your colleague has a problem. Please do not make it yours by dwelling on it.

[deliquesce]

just a thought, but maybe he didnt realise you had been contacted.

i've often given names and not realised they had been contacted. i'm not doing it because i'm being rude.

it would have been polite for him to thank you at the time of asking. but if it was in email some people don't like to send another email just to say "thanks" as that seems superfluous. a lot of people try not to send too many emails as it's considered a bother. like deli said, he wouldn't know if you were contacted or not unless the potential employer mentioned it to him when he's hired. and chances are the employer wouldn't even mention it.

Your friend probably has no way of knowing whether you were really contacted or not. That's not something generally shared with applicants.

[Renovation]

He ended up contacting me today in response to an email I sent him informing him that I had spoken with his prospective boss. We used to be office mates and having seen each other in years. We're going to try to get together for dinner next week.

[KDlady]

Thank yous have become a lost art and it is quite a shame and they mean so much and take so little time - glad he contacted you finally!

[sanityseeker]

Good for you Reno for stopping the automatic thinking in its tracks by taking action of your own. What a bonus to have a night out to look forward to now. Have fun and next time a similar thought process comes to mislead you remember how to squasth that bug with action.

[sanityseeker]

By the way... I have always adviced people that when they ask someone to be a reference then they need to remember to let their referee know the outcome of the job search and send a thank you note either way. But as others have said.... courtesy is a dying art and it can be irritating to see it neglected.

[coko27]

Originally Posted by Renovation

I had a former work colleague contact me out of the blue a few days ago asking if I would be willing to be a reference for him. I replied that I would be happy to help him out. I had the call with his prospective boss and gave him a great review, which will likely lead to his getting the job. I would have expected a "thanks for helping me out" either in response to my agreeing to be a reference or after I gave the reference. Just seems downright rude. Here I am helping him get a possibly very well paying job and not a word back. I am Latin and lived in Europe for many years, so am geared to being very polite. I don't think this is cultural. Maybe unique to the region I live in. Sure is bothersome that someone wouldn't take 10 seconds to write: "Thanks for your help. Really appreciate it."

I agree with you he is rude and that would be nice if he said thank you thats not cultural that should be common sense for him saying thank you like you said you took the time out to help him ,And you cannot worry about rude people like him cause his kind will always need help.Huggs