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Member
Member Since Oct 2009
Posts: 52
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#1
It's something I recently noticed about myself. I can convince myself of anything. For example, I'll be walking my dog and for whatever reason I'll consider the possibility that a cougar could be lurking in the shadows (... in central Illinois, heh...) just waiting to pounce on me, and then I suddenly believe that this really WILL happen and I rush home as fast as I can.
Or I'll be with my friends and they'll tease me in a friendly manner, and the thought pops into my head that they could actually think horrible of me, and then I think they really do and I began hating them for thinking of me that way. It's so weird and difficult to explain. Sometimes though, I can't decide if, when in situations like these, my paranoia is justified or if I'm being rediculous. Once I make myslef believe something I can't stop obsessing over it. The situation I described above ( with my friends) happens quite frequently. We click so well sometimes and I often have all the love in the world for them, but other times I for some little reason or no reason at all, I think that it's all fake and they're really conspiring behind my back or something. It's so frustrating. |
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#2
It may be worthwhile for you to talk to a professional about this.
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spacecase
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
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#3
Hi spacecase. I have this problem also, the paranoid thinking. I find that if I'm off my antidepressant and anxiety meds, or under too much stress in one form or another, my paranoid thinking gets worse. (I'm in centralish Illinois also, never have worried about cougars. But the corn snakes creep me out - actually had one in my backyard.)
As long as I'm on my meds and keep my social interactions to a minimum I do pretty well. I hope you have better luck than I did trying to make the people connection work. I tried my best for a long time, but I would even get paranoid thoughts about my therapists. I would talk about it with them but it didn't help. Just made me feel and act worse. Wish I could be more helpful. I have learned to be okay with my situation - solitude is better than all the turmoil, anger and acting crazy I did trying to be "normal." I realize now that much of my paranoia comes from my PTSD, from way back in my childhood. But that hasn't really helped me not think and feel paranoid, when I get that way nothing can convince me I'm "just being paranoid." I'm positive that people around me are conspiring to hurt me. I've learned how to manage it, not fix it. __________________ I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free. But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings." |
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spacecase
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
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#4
I had those kinds of thoughts and my T called it hypervigilance. I would check my car convinced someone was hiding in the backseat waiting. I couldn't go to the dumpster at night because I just knew someone was inside and going to attack me. Which are absolutely ridiculous ideas....but I was certain of them. I used to be in an abusive relationship and watched my parents fight constantly. And with therapy and talking through all of those complicated emotions and him making me realizing how those things would never actually happen....I eventually quit having them. It took several months of therapy but I feel so much better now.
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spacecase
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Member
Member Since Jun 2009
Posts: 248
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#5
I had that;for example, my husband & I were walking a very popular trail but nobody else was on the trail despite it being a beautiful Sun. morning so I immediately concluded that there was a serial killer on the trail & we hadn't watched the news to know this. Husband said that was a not logical conclusion. Ended up the parking area was blocked off due to resurfacing or something & we could walk from our house to the trial so didn't need to use the parking lot....
Typical thoughts for me which DBT is helping a lot. Jump to very negative conclusions... |
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spacecase
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Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,150
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#6
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spacecase
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Posts: 2,779
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#7
Quote:
I also used to think that people could see me if I was outside in the garage after dark, tinkering with things, or if I was in the bathroom doing bathroom stuff, they could see through the curtains, or any number of things that I would be on my guard about. I, too, would check in the back floorboards of the car before I would get in to go somewhere. God, it was emotionally draining. It's a different thing expecting imminent danger (like a couger attack) than simply expecting something to cause distress (a parent having a tantrum over something ridiculous). One is more unlikely. The other is highly possible. I can't ever remember being relaxed as a child. It took me a long time as an adult to learn to feel safe. I had to get away from the danger. It took a long time to unlearn that practice. __________________ Vickie |
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FooZe, paddym22, perpetuallysad, Typo
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