I have too much stuff.

Hi! My name is Julien.
I've been dealing with buying too much stuff off and on for several years.
It started after going through a short time where I almost lost my apartment and was unemployed, but I got it together. Then I started buying old things--porcelain, paintings, books. At first I thought it was just a way to decorate, but I became aware that I was over-doing it and soon had a cluttered apartment. I thinned down my possessions to a manageable level, mostly giving stuff away and throwing out some other things.
I went for a few years without doing this to myself. Then after a family squabble several months ago, where I broke off contact with my mother and sister, I started buying again. Talking to them again is not an option. I was almost out of debt at that point, too. Now I have several thousand dollars in credit card debt and an apartment full of old things again. I caught myself before I went over the edge with the credit cards, and now I don't know what to do with all this junk.
I was planning on selling it on eBay, since that's where most of it came from, but I don't want the hassle of packaging and shipping. I would take it to Goodwill, but the few times I've made donations of good stuff I was treated like they were doing me a favor by taking it, so I don't want to go back to them. Should I feel guilty about just throwing the stuff into the dumpster? I look at some of the stuff I have and think, "This has survived for 100 or even 150 years. Now I just want to throw it away."
Am I just trying to find an excuse to keep these things?
Maybe I've already decided to throw it out and need someone to say it's okay to trash this stuff. I've no one to give it to, the people I know don't want it. I've got a hammer standing by and I want to give these things a good whack.
What made me want to buy old things? Why not new stuff? Is it that the old things survived? Maybe I feel a camaraderie with these inanimate objects--that I too survived?
I don't know what to expect from this post. Maybe I just needed to put to words what I've been thinking about. Anyhow, thank you for your time.

Have you thought about calling area churches or organizations.... they often have "yard sales" to benefit those in need. Many of these places will even pick the stuff up from your house.

I once donated a few things to an organization that was helping juvenile diabetes.... and I donate clothes every couple months to an organization. I give to the Goodwill too-- I just ignore the workers that unload the stuff-- they are just that-- workers unloading stuff and are probably having soar back problems.

but it the way for you to get some peace from it all is tossing it-- then I say-- toss it.......

I think maybe connecting with people that have "survived" , as you say, woudl be more rewarding and less cluttering than connecting with things that have survived.(IMO)

best to you

fins

Hello, Julien. Have you thought about talking to a therapist about this?

Hi Julien, I also think you need to talk to a therapist if you see one. I went threw something similar and it almsot seems comforting at the time you are doing the shopping but the guilt after was horrible. I know I put us in bad debt at the time. I think ebay might be a good idea to possibly recoop some of the money you've spent. The best thing is you see there is a pattern to this and can go from there. I don't know if this helped any but you aren't alone![quote=toomuchstuff;1274900]

Hi, Julien, and welcome~

Alot of good advise so far.
I was thinking, too, that perhaps you can just put the stuff out front of your place with either a "4 SALE - MAKE OFFER" sign (if you wish to earn a little something in return), or a "FREE" sign on it, (you'd be surprised how many people will haul it away for you without batting an eye).

As purple_fins stated, donating to the local church for their sales is a great idea, too.

Best of luck.
Take good care.

Shangrala

Hi. Thanks for the responses. I've had some time to think about this. Most of the stuff I'm having the problem getting rid of are the books. I have about 1,000 of them, mostly unread. I just can't seem to get rid of them, thinking that someday I might take the time to sit down and read them, but after thinking about this today I know I won't read them.

I used to be an avid reader until I hit my early 30's(I'm 42, btw). Then my interest started waning. I used to revere books, thinking they were an important part of my life. Yet I continue to buy books, like it's habitual. I see a book that might have interested me in the past so I buy it, then it sits on a shelf.

Some of the porcelain I can get rid of. It may have had value to me, but to others, probably not. Not too many people care about an old thing anymore. Maybe that's the way I'm becoming? Not worrying too much about what used to be. Trying to look forward. I enjoy the old things that I can use--dinnerware from the Gilded Age, vases, knick-knacks, etc. Some of the items are dust-collectors and I'm getting tired of that kind of stuff--having to take care of them but not being able to get any use out of them.

...The reason I put in bold that last sentence is it made me stop after I typed it. That was the problem I had with my mother and sister--it was a one-way street with them--always has been. I finally got tired, really--physically and mentally, of having to put so much into maintaining a relationship with them and getting nothing in return. So I finally let them go. Very abruptly, without any dialog about it either. I just stopped contact. They tried to contact me, but I just ignored them. I don't feel like I regret it, either. I hope I'm not a bad person for feeling that way. But I can't spend my life dealing with people, related or not, where I feel like they don't have an iota of concern for me.

Maybe part of me feels a little guilt about cutting ties with them. Maybe buying all this stuff since I cut ties was a way to try to hold onto the past with them. Now getting rid of these things I've accumulated could be the final round of letting go of mom and sis.

Part of me wants to swirl around my apartment like a tornado, singing "I Feel Free", throwing stuff in bags and boxes and carting it off to the dumpster--might that be me wanting to rid my life of the wasted effort I put into mom and sis? I think so. God, I hope I haven't gone crazy.

For the books...if you really want to get rid of them, try a used book store, library, university, local schools...all of these places are happy to receive books! Although local schools will tend to be a bit choosy. Libraries and universities may be especially interested in old books, if you have those.

Personally, I can't stand to get rid of books. I grew up surrounded by them, and was taught that books are an important part of life. I don't have room for two many books in my apartment, but I have boxes of books in my storage space and in one closet. Someday they will be on shelves in my house (when I have a house)! But if you are talking about paperback novels and such like that, then I can understand getting rid of them...I go through those about once a year and pass them on to a neighbor...who then goes through them and passes them on to someone else.

Used book stores may buy them off of you. Our public library takes donations. Have a garage sale?

Well, a few hours has gone by and I feel so much better. I filled 16 13-gallon trash bags with old junk from the closet, books, and now-broken porcelain and it's out in the dumpster.

Thanks for the suggestions about donating and selling, but I decided that I needed to do something now. I felt like if I didn't get a handle on this today and stop letting this stuff overwhelm me I wasn't going to get it done. And I'm not going to miss the stuff--I'm looking around and I don't know where most of it was--there's still plenty of things around--God, it was more cluttered than I thought.

It'll take me about two years to pay off the credit card. Those are the consequences of losing control, I suppose.

I still have more finessing to do, but the majority is done. I feel great, too. I feel like I overcame something that was pushing me down. And I feel like this is my apartment again--that it's not an antique store or flea market.

I'm going to make a bacon and cheese omelet for lunch and sit down at my now empty dining table and have a nice meal.

Thank you for having this forum for me to work through this. Maybe I made a bigger deal of my situation than it really was. I hope my neighbors didn't hear me breaking all that stuff. I'm going to do everything I can to never get to this point again. Thank you again!

Lunch was so good. It was nice not to have to fight with the piles of stuff for a spot at my table.

I did some more cleaning and decluttering and I can't believe the difference. It looks like a new apartment. And the things I have out on display look better and more meaningful.

This has been such an uplifting experience. When I read my posts I was embarrassed that I had let my environment deteriorate to that point. I'm so glad I posted here--it made things come to a head and I had to deal with it.

Thanks again to the owner of this forum. It has helped me a great deal!

If you find that you are going to get rid of more stuff call AMVETS.. They will come pick it up.. The proceeds go to helping veterans..

Have you thought about selling the books on Amazon? I think their fees are better than ebay and books can ship cheaply as media mail.