Should there be a age restriction

Hi folks,

I appreciate everyone giving us time to again consider a "teen forum," but this poll is flawed in at least the fact that anyone 13 years or younger is basically not allowed on this site, as we do not have the resources to verify children's ages (as per the federal government's COPPA rules:

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcam...rivacy/biz.htm

So we're talking about members who are 14-17. (Frankly, I'd have a hard time justifying a forum for a 3 or 5-year age group.)

14-17 year olds are welcomed here. We allow them into the forums, so I'm not sure what the issue is...?

DocJohn

I compleatly agree with LMo. Miss A I have talked to you and you talk more maturly than others slightly older than you. I think that there are some immature teenage members that have no right to be here saying how thinggs have happened to her that really didn't. Telling stories that you have told them in confidance (lied about agge at first). Triggering people because they hear that something that bad has happened to that person so they feel as though it only be fair to talk about it constantly and send this person into a panic attack.

Sorry to be this bluntly but I know that I am not the only person that feels this way about this certian girl.

Miss A love you, but as LMo saays I personally have not posted some things that i don't want teenagers to read. I know that some have been through a lot, but i just don't think someone that is as young as you help me with I am going through.

Well said Kathie.

Miss A,

Sweetheart, I'm very, very sorry...but you are just too young to be here, in my opinion. I couldn't let my children (and you are still a child) participate in a forum like this. I'm terribly sorry, but I feel I should be honest about this since you are a minor. Whatever you decide about whether there should be an age restirction, I'll support you and help you any way I can. I think a teen forum would be wonderful.

(((((((((((((((((((luv and hugz)))))))))))))))))))))))

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There is just so much subtle nastiness here.

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HUH???

I thought there was a minimum age but couldn't find the place it was written! Thanks DocJohn. COPPA rules ah ha!

I think some of those who are DID (kimmy's reference?) are concerned that they are breaking the guidelines by posting.

Is this one of those grey areas with which I have trouble?

Miss A, I hear what septembermorn is asking... since you asked this question in thread (and have also in chat, and have alluded to it in prior posts) what is it about your being so young and participating here. (The little fish... comment...) Maybe you could share more about how you are feeling?

TC

BTW Miss A, it could be that you fall under the same assessment as some of those studied, how that extreme stress and/or abuse as a child "requires" the child to act more mature, and to grow up and attend to the words of the adults to be able to protect themselves better?

LMo,
That is an excellent point
There is nothing wrong with redirecting

DE

LOL! My "age"? I'd not be here, more like I'd be in an old age home, ha!ha!

DE

(((((((((( for the old and young at heart )))))))))))))

I agree that you should be careful when reading some of the information in this forum because like someone previously said these are adults at different levels of cognition (thought processes). Just be careful when interpreting the meaning of posts, and also this forum really doesn't serve as a replacement for a therapist. However I think that if you can handle it then I don't really think that age should be an issue

Thanks for your input, Doc. The reason I asked you to chime in is because you had originally asked us for suggestions, so we were under the assumption that changes were under consideration. We have forums for very small contingents of people here ("Caregivers" doesn't get a lot of usage, for example), so I don't know why this one wouldn't get equal consideration. May I remind the oldies of "Dias"? Teens need support as much as anyone else; their issues are largely different from that of adults, the same way those with substance abuse problems differ from those with DID.

True words LMo... when I came onboard, there was nearly nil posting in the PTSD forum (I felt like I owned it for the longest time... lol)

But I can see how it might be a forum (young ppl's) that needs closer moderation and assistance, time, energy etc... Those are valuable commodities on a website, imo.

Hi Miss A,

I've been thinking a great deal about this thread and your posts and wanted to ask a question; although I feel you are too young to be here, I do want you to get the help and support you need. Can I ask if you are a TAG student or know what that means. I was wondering if you've ever been tested...don't know what the UK uses for testing.

One of my sons is TAG and I'm very familiar with what that entails. Although he will only be 9, he is starting the 6th grade this fall instead of the 4th. He also has the vocabulary and communication skills of an 8th grade student. This causes him to APPEAR very mature. He is more mature than most of his peers, but nonetheless he is still very much a 9 year old and not an 8th grader. I read some of your posts and its difficult to believe you are only 14 when I read some of them. Like my son, you appear to be advance in years. There could be many explanations for it, but TAG would be a viable explanation.

Please understand I'm only trying to help you. Perhaps if we knew a little more about you, some of the adults on the forum would be more comfortable with your presence. I can tell you that yesterday, on two separate occassions, I started to reply to posts of yours and then stopped myself because of your age. I also found my maternal instincts kick in and I started writing as though I were your mother. I decided not to post because, well, I'm not your mother, but I don't think I'm going to be able to respond to you on the same level as I'm going to be able to respond to the adults on PC. So, if I start to 'mother' you, please don't get offended, it's just going to be in my nature.

Changes are under consideration -- I was just giving you my point of view (since it was asked for).... 'tis all.

(Don't cha love it when DocJohn responds AND uses smileys??) sorry.

(yep...luv his smileys.) too...apologies.

On the flip side, will we have a "Seniours Citizens" forum next? LOL!!
Just being silly, and getting ready to "wear purple" but not the "red hat"

Hi, I haven’t got TAG but I'm in most of the top sets for subjects. I don't know where this topic is going and I didn't what to make a big fuss about it. Just that knowing that I'm the youngest here doesn't bother me, but I wanted to you if it bothers any one else who is older and wiser than me. I don't think there are a lot of teenagers on this forum here that I've seen here. The teen forum will, the rules be the same and would this divide the two different forums one is the adults forum and the new one is the teens forum; But wouldn't that start to have completive competition ahead?

Miss A,

I for one, have NO problem whatsoever with you being a part of our community. You carry yourself in a very mature manner, and think you could learn a lot to help deal with your own personal issues. I also give you a lot of credit for "rolling with the punches" on this thread. You definitly show maturity beyond your years

I think the one thing many members here are forgetting is this IS a community - diverse in diagnoses, culture, gender AND age. Just some food for thought.

Dolfin

Does anyone have an estimate of how many minors come on here, anyway? I don't know of many... since the forums aren't being over-run by immaturity I don't think there's much need to address this.

A teen forum would have it's pros and cons. While it would be a place to address teen's issues with their age and the circumstances entailed by that in mind, it is likely the growing process of a new forum would be too slow, and the teens would revert to other forums to get answers and support. I think it's also likely a teen's forum would foster higher levels of immaturity in that forum, and it would need a lot of moderation. Teens want to show more maturity around adults, but in their own forum that would decline - not entirely, and not necessarily from the teens currently here, but from the ones who would come when they see a forum specifically for them. And attracting teens who need help isn't a bad thing, but it would require a high level of commitment to this cause.

Maybe it wouldn't work the way I'm seeing it, but I'm basing this on experience working with groups of teens online and off, integrated with adults and not. The thing about having the forums the way they are now is that they pretty much only attract teens who want help and input from adults, a more mature group than forums made for teens.

I don't think we should discriminate. If we do, then I suggest to all minors seeking help, "pretend you are 18 and keep posting here."

Thanks Doc -- I do appreciate it. I respect your decision whatever it is but I'm glad you took the time to read the debate.

Can I just reiterate that nobody is suggesting that teens get kicked off the site -- just that a separate room is created for them. For some reason, it keeps getting misinterpreted that we're going to 'discriminate' and that they be 'excluded from the community', and I don't think anyone said that.

Thanks LMo

I have sat here for a few minutes trying to figure out how to say this.

Would any of you want a 14 yr old reading about how someone was raped, severly abused, or how they SI?

I personally told another member something (before i knew the age). All of a sudden this member SIs, I have heard this member say that this has happened to them when it really didn't. They had taken what I told them and made people believe that it was true.

Miss A like I have said before I just don't feel comfortable with anyone your age reading my grafic posts because it is not for a childs eyes. I know that you are mature for your age but could you really tell me how to cope with life when you haven't experienced real live yourself.

Fair enough! But I don't mean to say how to cope with some elses life, just say some ways to try and deal with it. If there was a post that was really a big problem in some one elses life. I know that I would stay out as I don't know what to do because I've haven't proberly been in a simular situtation. Yea theres life.... and then there is school, home, friends, family, myself. Which I find the days to long at school and exams stressful. I never have read such a grafic post and I wouldn't even go there because it would have a title giving a hint and a triggering sign. Half the time I do poems, games, hugs and I do my best not to get any ones way. At least you all have lifes. I feel like I have no life at all. I think I know why the reason is for why teenager commit suicide these days and that is because they won't see their lifes getting any better! This is how I feel right now but somehow something is making me stay here even though I know I'm not happy. But a few years time I wouldn't seen myself here anymore at all. That's why I going to therpy, having conselling. I' trying my hardest for to open up but its hard because I don't want to repeat what I've been through and go into details abuse, death, affairs, birth, moving schools, moving homes, smoking, achocol, drugs, depression, run aways, was being bullied, self harm, eating less or more, low self esteem, ex boyfriends, racism, loneliness, car crash etc....
I FEEL DEAD!