[little*rhino]

for those who answered my question of "what does living mean to you" and for those who pondered it but did not reply, we can look at step two. It's vital to have dreams and goals and things to look forward to, Viktor Frankl was insistent that a person had to have future goals, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, in order to survive and be well. He's right. Even something seemingly lame and tiny can give you a target to aim for and the impact on one's mental state is enormous.

so, dreams are vital.. then what?

well, some dreams will always just be dreams, unless we win a lotto or other such thing, right? i would love to do a bunch of things that can't happen unless money truly was no object. So, i will always hold them as dreams because one never knows, but do they have to remain so detached and disconnected to my everyday life? Nope. My dreams can have what economists call a "trickle down effect," and if i take action, i can use the vitality in those dreams to make my every day life happier and more fulfilling.

the first thing is to determine whether your dreams are something that can be made possible without that lotto. Can they be altered or something that can make them into something to work towards? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

there is an easy way to look at such things, and it is one of the most valuable tools my T ever gave me... it's like a tree diagram. You put the goal at the top and then break it down into subgoals, things that would have to happen to make it possible, and then break those down. You keep going until you have it in simplified manageable chunks or tasks that you can work at and assign time frames to. Often times big, impossible leaps can become workable if taken apart that way.

if your big goal is possible in this manner, then go make it happen... you now have a blueprint or plan to get you there

if it is more of a lotto-dependent style dream, which is 100% fine, then what ways exist that you can achieve satisfaction or fulfillment regardless?

well.. start by defining what needs would get met by such a dream or goal. If my goal is to build a shelter and rehab for abused beagles (something dear to me) then i'd need money i don't have. It's not a possibility at this point. But, what would i be striving to achieve with that goal? Obviously, it isn't to own a building... what am i trying to do when i came up with that idea?

make a list.... what feelings or goals would be fulfilled by being able to do such a thing?

in my case example... a beagle rehab/shelter...

* i care a lot about this specific breed, i know it's quirks and reasons why they end up needing rescue more often than some other breeds. i have worked with rescues and think i could solve some hurdles and give the animals good homes.... what personal needs would be fulfilled?

1) giving nurture to animals
2) social contribution
3) feeling of being useful

and so on... i won't keep going but there are a bunch of things that would feel satisfying about doing this. What are yours in relationship to your dream or goal?

If you can figure those things out, you may be able to find other ways in your life right now, today, that you can start doing that may give you some of the same fulfillment.

maybe i could volunteer in a shelter... that sort of thing

it's not giving up a dream or settling for less, it's acting on the inner compass we all have that would guide us to more satisfying daily life if we let it... trouble is, we often don't. It's a case of hurry up and wait to be happy someday when everything finally comes together.

i'd recommend against waiting, personally.

you dont have to have everything just right, and you dont have to somehow "earn" the right to happiness. You deserve happiness - no lie. And no matter what your individual situation, there are small shreds of it around you... use them to build something bigger.

AS always, some sage thoughts on how to get from here to there!!

Thank you, for this post (((little*rhino))).
Yup, I wanna get back into the field and work with geriatric patients whose families have forgotten them--my "inner compass" is pointing the way---

With any luck, I'll get that advanced degree; and begin again (actually, I don't believe in luck; if the powers that be allow for this dream--I will get there).

This time living my life for ME!!!!! and Through MEEE!!!--thanks!theo

[pachyderm]

Dream: to explain what mental illness is. But I think first I need to know, myself. Maybe I am approaching that.

pachyderm--that's a great idea for a new thread!!!

Ask everyone to explain Mental Illness!!!--I'm sure you'd get some interesting answers.

Sorry little*rhino--off topic---I'll give you mine:

Imbalance of chemicals in the brain, Dopamine, etc, also hormones--Did you know that Grave's Disease (Hyperthyroidism) has exactly the same signs and symptoms of Manic/Depressive, BiPolar? (those are the latest labels for everyone).

Did you also know that they don't check to see if it's physical (thyroid levels) before giving Lithium? How many are walking around thinking they have a Mental Illness; when it's just Grave's!!!!!

Also Mental Illness is definitely brought on by abuse, neglect of many-aka-lack of loving parents/support system as a child.

You ought to start a thread!!!--------theo

One of my therapists talked about macro/micro goals to get from here to there.

macro -- (very large in scale or scope or capability)
micro -- (extremely small in scale or scope or capability)

The macro goal is the life the person envisions. A micro goal is one of many that break down the process into more manageable parts as a means of achieving the macro goal.

http://contextualpsychology.org/book/export/html/3816