What is relaxation?

How do you relax? Do you really relax? Those with mental illness often "relax" in damaging ways, whether it be by smoking, drinking, or getting high. But we "relax" in other ways, too. People with eating disorders find comfort when they don't eat, or eat too much, or purge. Cutters might cut. We feel stress and attempt to cope with it using negative behaviors--our own MI's. So by this, do our MI's make us happy? I doubt it. It causes more anxiety and problems, I believe. For me, I think that it promotes self-discovery. I learn more about myself and the adaptive ways I use, and over time, will give me the capability to change.

Inkblot,

What a relevant post. Sometimes I haven't even known what relaxation is.

Some quotes:

Psychatrist (trying to persuade me onto Prozac) - "You don't even know what it's like to feel normal."

Long term friend - " You do a good impression of being relaxed."

I think that we get all mixed up with our strategies, and if the strategies give us some relief, then how can we help going for it? The most relaxed times of my life have been when I have just given up a responsibility, like a job or something, but it is not for our long term good to be giving things up all the time, just to get some relaxation!

I'd like to know what others think about this.

Cheers, M

I relax by taking time to meditate - often just 5 minutes or so a day is all I really have time for. Taking a hot bubble bath with fun reading material. Sitting on a beach under the umbrella just listening to the waves, the birds, the people. When I'm relaxed I am able to handle the bumps and curves that life usually throws at you.. at least it seems like everything gets handled better. Relaxing for me is like recharging a battery. It is faster to recharge a battery when that battery is not being drained by the intended device. My cell phone will recharge faster if I turn it off then if I recharge while it is still on. When I am relaxed I last longer before getting cranky at every little mishap or disaster. Hopefully this makes sense.

I don't think I know how to relax. I know what I would like to do to relax but just can't seem to do it

listening to music and reading posts here on the board, i also like to do computer art which brings out things in me which i then try to put into art so that helps to. Otherwise relaxing to me is when my mind isnt going 1000 miles a hour which isnt very much.

My relaxation is being with my horses. Training for Dressage & working as one with my horse takes deep concentration & at times frustration with myself but I feel totally relaxed anyway. Playing with my filly & getting the love from her gives me such a good feeling even though I have to be alert all the time...it is relaxing also. Sitting & watching a Grand Prix dressage rider or the beautiful performance of the freestyle (which is dressage to music) is total relaxation. It is my escape from the life around me & the relaxation that keeps my mind off of the things that are bothering me.

I am blessed to have such loving huge creatures around me along with my eskies that are constantly my source of laughter.

Debbie

Hi Eskie,

I totally agree with you about being with horses. I have ridden a little, and I like the feeling of being around large animals, sensing their breathing and gentleness.

My Dad ( a very disturbed and disturbing person) always had dogs. The problem there was that the dogs didn't relax him, he had a negative effect on his dogs which were always upset and nervous - horrible to see. They mirrored him!

If we can open ouselves to the vibes of our animals, and feel the rhythm and pace of their lives, then there is a huge therapeutic effect for us. It also works if we can be around a relaxed person, maybe a Buddhist or a Priest, and feel the strength of their centredness.

Cheers, M

Hi Myzen,

Great post.....I can relate to you observation about being effected by those around us & us effecting those we are around....animals or people. I have seen people around horses who have completely ruined their horse by the way they treated it.....up tight, demanding, rough, unforgiving....& they just couldn't figure out why they were having problems....duh. I have been around people who really seem to stress me out & there is no way I could ever relax around them...maybe I was trying so hard to find a way to escape????lol

I think the concept of being open to our animals & like you said, a relaxed person & becoming one with the natural peace & rythm that is there rather than fighting....is when we achieve peace within ourselves & can feel relaxed. I think nature is basically peaceful (unless you take into consideration the hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, etc).

Part of my relaxation is laughing too....I know there is a correlation there too. The laughing comes around my dogs & horses too.....when I am leaning over & cleaning his hoofs....all of a sudden, my rear end gets shoved by his nose & I go flying. Humor seems to get rid of the tense feelings that build up & oh yes, the all time important thing.....BREATHE.....how can something so necessary for life be so hard to remember to do?

I have been told so many ways to relax & never got them to work. It seem like the tools are all the same (focusing, breathing, laughing, etc) but what we apply them to that creates the relaxation for us is personal. What works for one doesn't work for someone else.

Debbie

During the worst of my anxiety, my T taught me to make sure I wouldn't be interrupted by anyone or anything. Better achieved when I was alone. Then she taught me imagry. I've already got a vivid imagination so it wasn't hard to do. You can play ocean music if you prefer the ocean or forest music, if that's your preference. I play it really low so that it will not interfere but boost my imagination. To relax your muscles, take a few very slow breaths while squeezing all of your muscles at the same time, or first your legs, then your abdomen, your chest, your back and arms and finally your head. If you can, see all the anxiety going out of your body when you exhale.

I go either to a "safe room" that I constructed when in therapy but it's mostly for the child in me. Or I can go to the mountains with all the sounds, smells and sights, or to a praire with everything that entails. Sometimes I can even conjure up a little friendly animal. This place HAS to be safe! Nothing can intrude without your specific permission. Then I just allow myself to "be." There's nothing to do or not do, no worries, nothing that you don't want.

You can either set a timer or just bring yourself back to where you are slowly. Your mind accepts what you imagined as if you were really there. Your "batteries get charged." I still use this imagery when I just can't cope anymore with all the stressed of life. I recommend it highly!!

BTW, if you don't have an active imagination, it will take practice, but it sure is well worth the effort when you finally get it.