[RomanSunburn]

Basically, the subject says it all... I'm trying to figure out how to keep from becoming discouraged (and thus depressed) and I need some tips or advice from all of you

So, when I was younger, I used to want to be a professional ballet dancer. I had no plans of going to school. My parents supported me. I wasn't great, but I wasn't bad. I danced in pre-professional classes for 9 years. The last two years were after we moved and I had to switch schools. The school was very different (not as high quality, but the best I could get in the area) and the instructor wasn't very good either. I ended up getting really frustrated and quitting when I was about 14. Well, I didn't know what else to do with myself so I finished high school, applied to colleges, went to one far from home for two years, took a year off (when I saw a therapist who basically ruined therapy for me forever also telling me ballet was a pipe dream at that point in my life; I was 20-21), then transferred to a school closer to home for another two years, and just left that school still without a degree. Basically, college isn't working for me right now.

I've finally realized that a part of me is never going to be happy, never going to allow myself to succeed in anything else, until I really try to give professional dance a shot, really try my hardest. I'm not going to be a principal dancer, probably not even a soloist if I am able to succeed. But I'd really like to try, and hey, maybe just be in the choir or something.

The problem is I'm 23, which is old in dancer years. I still have a lot of my technique, but my strength and flexibility are shot and going to need some time to get up to par. I also need a lot more strength to go on pointe again and I have only taken a few classes of partnering skills. What's more, the classes I take are going to mostly be with girls a lot younger than myself, often a lot more skilled. What I really need to know is how to keep myself from getting discouraged by this and really push through? I've tried to get back into dance before, but I always ended up discouraged and upset with myself. I really want to make it work this time. So far I'm trying not to be too hard on myself and not look at other dancers in class so much, plus stretching and working out outside of class.

If anyone has any tips for not getting discouraged, whatever has worked for you (need not be related to ballet or physical fitness), or ways you didn't let depression get in the way of your dreams, please let me know!

Thanks so much everyone, and sorry this post got kind of lengthy.

to all,
Ro

[Junerain]

Please do not give up your dream, I gave up both mine, of becoming a teacher and becoming a nurse......even though I was accepted into both programs....couldnt take the character needed to do either...I am too much a softie.....cannot be the one with the responsibility....plus the other students picked on me and were cruel to me


Do it for ME if I only had the chance to still live my dream, heck I'd do anything to have them again within my reach.....

Think of all us members of this website who may not see our dreams realised, ever......due to illness, due to life being extremely hard on us.....


Fight that temptation, that discouragement, do it with love and pride of who you are: You my friend, are a dancer

“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.” ~ Zig Ziglar

Hello, RomanSunburn. Perhaps this article will be of consequence to you:

http://overcominglimitations.com/article3102.html

May you pirouette on stage one day.

[eskielover]

Sometimes our dreams need a little revision to fit in with the reality of our lives. I was a music major & got my AA in music.....thought that playing in a symphony would be a wonderful career......but my talent wasn't good enough for the competition. I could have gotten discouraged, but I put my energy into figuring out another path for my life. Ended up getting my BS degree & becoming a firmward design engineer with my accounting/computer science BS degree for 15 years until the aerospace industry fell apart in California & my technical abilities weren't what the hiring market wanted.

I went into a deep depression, but my music & playing my flute helped get me through that horrible time...not financially, but it helped to give me a place to release my emotions expressivly.

I ended up having horses...have moved to KY.....but can't afford to move my horses here due to a lot of bad financial things that have happened. I am working on not getting discouraged right now as it feels like it will never happen. I just keep my focus on things I can do that will help me realize my goal & when I start feeling myself get too discouraged, I find something to do that gives me something else to focus on so that I can't think so constantly on the fact that I can't seem to get my horses here.....one if my filly that was born 5 years ago & I bonded with her so much, I really miss her beyond what words can express. Other times when I get really discouraged feeling, I just play with my dogs & try to give them all the love I have.

What I have realized is that we never really KNOW how things are going to turn out. We just need to be flexible along the way so that we can adapt to the way things are going & focus on the path that our life ends up taking. We can guide that path as much as possible to fit out talents & the things that we do desire to keep us from complete discouragement. In life there will always be some things that we feel discouraged about.....but mostly, we need to figure out what we need to do to either make that dream come true or create another goal that is more realistic to focus on rather than dwelling on the discouragement of something that isn't possible.

In otherwords, we need to focus on life in the reality of what it is & what is really possible, maybe we can enjoy the things in a different way than what the original dream was so that we can still enjoy those things in a different way than what we originally had pictured.....(be flexible).

Enjoy life & find ways to enjoy the things you like to do......that helps keep the discouragement at a minimum. Don't regret the things that didn't happen because there are always even better things in the future that will come but we just don't know about them yet.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

If just one planet was outside its orbit of the sun, none of us would be here, everything would be vastly different, and we would never have known as physical or spiritual beings, what it feels like to walk the earth and be who we are...you are beautiful who you are and you have a chance to do anything you want to do...just never give up...

Rhiannon

[RomanSunburn]

Thanks so much for all of your replies. They really helped It's still going to be hard, but I have to be glad that I have a chance to really go for my dream. I realized that it needed some revision -- I know I'll never be a principal dancer and probably never be able to survive financially with just a dancing career. I also realize that I might have to face a lot of opposition, various people telling me I'm too old, not being able to audition for certain things because of my age, etc. But I have to at least try, if for nothing but to save my sanity from constantly beating me up and deeming me a failure.

Thanks again! I'll try to keep everyone updated

,
Ro

[Elana05]

Here is what I think RS...

Go for it. This is what you have always wanted to do. Only good can come of it. Even if you dance for a decade (?) the lessons you have learned in going back to it and the experience you have gained will be with you and you will then have them to take on to something else like teaching. If you decide to teach after dancing professionally you will be able to encourage (slightly) older dancers like yourself (lol, that's funny b/c you are NOT old). Just take good care of yourself and your body. Don't forget to rest and eat plenty of healthy foods.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by RomanSunburn

I've tried to get back into dance before, but I always ended up discouraged and upset with myself.

You are doing this, trying your hardest for you! You'd like to be the best you can be so you have to stay focused on that and not on what's going on around you, the ages or what the other girls/women are doing. If it's what you want to do, it's "you" not the reality of the "working" world that matters. Just getting more strength, a bit more skillful, etc. will be good/progress. You have to stay friends with yourself, you're doing the best you can and it's all for you; there's no reason for discouragement or upset at one's self when one is trying. That's your goal in the first place, to; "really try my hardest". If you do not make it in the professional sense; that world is as much politics, age, etc. as it is about dance and you can always be proud of yourself for having given it your best shot.