[daycareteach91]

This 5 year old boy in my classroom is so awful and I don't have a clue what to do with him. I think he may have a problem. He yells and screams. He bullies the other children and he can be very violent. He never sits still and never listens. He says no to everything I say. The the other day he tells me that he doesn't listen to his parents or anyone else and he doesn't have to listen to me. Other children in the preschool are afraid of him. You can name everything that a child might do that would be really bad, and that decribes this kid. And this morning, he threatened a kid. While he was on time out, one other little boy(the boy being bullied) came uo to him and politely used his words to say, "I don't like it when you punch and kick me." (And this awful boy hit a little girl with a butter knife at breakfast). So then he told this sweet little boy, "If you EVER talk to me again, you are DONE FOR! Do you hear me? DONE!"
That was a really bad threat. He sasses the teachers and kicks and punches them as well. He also has a foul mouth.

What can I do about him? How can I handle him when he is out of control? If it wasn't for him, my classroom would be at great peace.

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bebop]

I would get with the daycare director and let her know what is going on there and then politely tell her you can not teach this child. Most daycares would kick him out. I would imagine his parents let him or have let him get by with stuff like that.

[lynn P.]

Is this boy in your daycare during the summer or regular school? I think your superior should speak with his parents. I understand his behavior is upsetting by try to keep your cool because he needs help in controlling his behavior. He could be troubled by something which makes it hard for him to behave appropriately.

[ECHOES]

Isn't it sad that he is obviously repeating things said to him.

I agree that the daycare should be removing him. The parents need to understand that this boy won't be able to excell in school like this; he'll never last there. Intervention and strongly suggesting family counselling right now is what is needed. You have to wonder what his home life is like...

[lynn P.]

It could be a discipline problem, a problem learned from a bad home life, ADD/ADHD, a multitude of learning problems etc. He's only a child and needs help IMO

[Rhiannonsmoon]

This child sounds very much like an abused child who is repeating behaviours that he thinks are normal. Can you imagine this child at home and scared? maybe not but I guarantee you he is and he acts out in the places that he is the one with the power, he is the one with the control that he doesn't have at home.

If his home life is like that then that is how he will behave. His mother will be the type that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth and she seems like the best mother on earth; attentive, mild mannered etc. This is part of the make up that creates this sort of behaviour pattern.

I strongly advise that he see a school psychologist, preferably a psychiatrist. This child is a disaster waiting to happen and if it isn't too late already, there isn't much time for an intervention.

I've seen this happen and I despair at the way some parents bring up their kids; kids who are psychotic before they are 6 years old. Violently treated by their parents.

Please get this child some help, because what you are seeing is a miniature of the parent that is creating him; quite possibly a parent who goes to great lengths to appear concerned but couldn't truly give a damn as long as his or her life isn't disrupted, especially their money making time,

Rhiannon

[Indie'sOK]

Without help, kids like this often grow up to become much worse and much more dangerous. I'd definitely contact your supervisor.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

This child sounds very much like an abused child who is repeating behaviours that he thinks are normal.

Rhiannon

That is what I was thinking.

Does the child have bruises or anything that suggest he is being abused? If so, notify child protective services.

[growlycat]

Time to call social services!!! My gut tells me this kid is being horribly mistreated at home. Please help this boy, at 5 he is just a baby.

[Sabrina]

Yes, at 5 he really is so small and can't begin to understand his own behaviours. He sounds like he has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I do hope that his family will get him treated, whatever is wrong with him.

[lonegael]

He sounds like some of the kids that I test for ADHD or similar problems. Many of these kids also: are abused (they are hard to discipline and if you don't understand that they can't help themselves, it's tempting to really let them have it), depressed (which in children can be expressed as aggression), sure that the world hates them because they always get yelled at and they don't really understand why.
Check for the bruises, if none, try to talk to the parents about the urgency of getting him help. Keep in mind, some hyperactive kids have a lot of bruises from not tthinking and crashing into things. My sister fell into this catagory. You can call social services and ask anonymously for advice. I have when I worked in the States in CA. There are probably a LOT of things going wrong around this little boy. Good luck. HHUUUUGGGGSSSS!

If this child is being abused by his parents, it is the parents that are the problem. So the child is seen by a professional, and is told his behavior must change. He tries to change but the parents do not. All he will learn is the professional cannot be trusted.

That said, it is not right that the others be preyed upon by a violent, out-of-control classmate. The child must go if he will not change. Reporting the parents may result in the boy going to a foster home. There still is no guaranty the parents will change. What a tragedy.

Ultimately, the viable answer may mean getting the boy out of the classroom to prevent traumatizing the remainder of the class. The boy is outed for the greater good of the whole.

[lonegael]

Sorry, I didn't mean to give the impression that the child is responsible for being mistreated. Yes, also, the safety of the other children has to be taken seriously. Thanks Byz!

[lynn P.]

I'm going to be honest here - I'm not comfortable with the tone of the OP post, with words/phrases like 'this kid' and the word 'awful' used several times. We have no idea why this boy behaves this way. What if this child has a perception or auditory problem? He can't control himself but what if its not his fault?

Yes I agree he should be disciplined and if he can't be controlled, then removed from the classroom. I'm not saying what he did wasn't wrong. Unfortunately kids this age can be a handful with hitting, bad language and aggression. A boy told my 8 yr old daughter "I want to have sex with you". Like I said before this boy might have home problems or the boy might have control problems. I'm sure many people were a handful when they were kids.

I agree it wasn't right to throw a knife at another child, but I'm wondering if this was a plastic knife - most schools are forbidden to keep real cutlery in their schools. Again kids throw stuff at each - sure it's not right but it's not shocking. I think all children even misbehaving ones deserve compassion as well as discipline. Also there are parents who are great but have misbehaving children - autism/ADD/ADHD/learning disabilities. It's easy to dislike a person, compared to figuring out why they act out. A skilled teacher is able to relate to all students good and bad IMO. This is why Super Nanny is so respected - she can see the good in a child who's misbehaving.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by daycareteach91

This 5 year old boy in my classroom is so awful and I don't have a clue what to do with him. I think he may have a problem. He yells and screams. He bullies the other children and he can be very violent. He never sits still and never listens. He says no to everything I say. The the other day he tells me that he doesn't listen to his parents or anyone else and he doesn't have to listen to me. Other children in the preschool are afraid of him. You can name everything that a child might do that would be really bad, and that decribes this kid. And this morning, he threatened a kid. While he was on time out, one other little boy(the boy being bullied) came uo to him and politely used his words to say, "I don't like it when you punch and kick me." (And this awful boy hit a little girl with a butter knife at breakfast). So then he told this sweet little boy, "If you EVER talk to me again, you are DONE FOR! Do you hear me? DONE!"
That was a really bad threat. He sasses the teachers and kicks and punches them as well. He also has a foul mouth.

What can I do about him? How can I handle him when he is out of control? If it wasn't for him, my classroom would be at great peace.

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my opinion do your job as a teacher like you would with any other kid you notice has any type of problems -

1. have the school psychologist spend some time with him.

2. have the school nurse spend some time with him. sometimes someone other than the teacher can get to the bottom of students problems.

3. have a parent teacher conference to discuss the problem and to find out if there have been any changes in the home ie divorce, separation, pregnancy, a death in the family, parents having problems like financial,making ends meet,a move in the future they are preparing for, laid off from work.

4. have a teachers conference, all the schools around here have team meetings where the teachers get together to plan things and compare notes on the students and help each other solve teaching problems like an unrulely child, a child who ie IEP'ed, disabled whatever.

4 have the child academically tested sometimes children act or because they are either bored because the school work is too easy or because its too hard for them.

after all else is done and if it turns out the child isnt learning disabled, a child genius who is bored, isnt reacting from abuse or family problems what ever then its time to come up with consequences for his unruley actions - loss of recess, writing, send tot he principals office, in school detention, after school detention, just like you would any other child who was misbehaving in your classroom.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

But if a child has self esteem issues segregation only means that he will get angrier and will act out more. Consequences are important but not ones which will make him even more of a spectacle. These children often hate themselves and it is a very fine line between discipline and negative reinforcement.

The idea is to have him screened and tested before he is labelled. I tend to agree with the ODD, and with that comes ADD/ADHD and often Bipolar; but that must be assessed and either diagnosed or rejected.

I do feel sorry for the original poster because it isn't easy having one of these littlies in your class. But as his teacher you spend the most time with him and you should be writing a report of his exact behaviours to hand on to a psychiatrist which will assist with background that can be related as proven or discarded as not proven in regard to a diagnosis