[dawnhopeful]

Hi,
I was told by my Psychiatrist that I have this problem. Can anyone describe what he means by this, or give me references for an article on this topic.
Thanks a million, dawnhopeful

[Jewels]

Black and white thinking is thinking that is either all for or all against a certain thing or person. Many say that Borderline Personality Disordered people have black and white thinking because of the way they view people. They are either all good, or if someone does something wrong, or perceived wrong, then they will totally hate that person. There is no in-between gray areas for them. I hope this helps some. The Borderline Personality Disorder information doesn't mention it per se, so you might want to Google Black/White thinking and see where that leads you. Hope you find some answers to your question.

Jewels

[shezbut]

Jewels described black and white thinking pretty well. It's difficult to describe adequately, imo.

Those with Borderline Personality Disorder typically have this personality characteristic. Like me BPD's have a general attitude of all-or-nothing in life. There are no in-betweens. We are firm in our core beliefs. We don't sit on the sidelines in what we believe is good/bad, love/hate, etc. We are animated in our reaction to those things, particularly on the negative side.

For example: I'm having a good day with my daughter, Jill, at a park. Jill remarks that she misses Daddy now, a time when he's at work. BOOM! My interpretation: Jill loves Daddy more than she loves me. Jill doesn't love me. Jill only wants to be with Daddy. Wth am I still doing there? I'm worthless. I hate myself!

A little extreme, yes. But that's black and white thinking, all or nothing, BPD.

[Princess_Obsidian]

Greetings,

Psychcentral gives a great article on such a topic: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...nking-hurt-us/

Have a good one.

[fearfulfrog]

Black and white thinking is actually full of shades of grey! shezbut give a good extreme example. For me ( fighting the BPD Dx and failing!) I am decisive- I know what I want and what I don't and fairly rigid in certain things ( EX: if I have a friend coming to visit the house must be visitor tidied- clean towels in the bathroom, personal items put out of sight, dishes out of sight, counters clean, no paperwork left haphazardly) But day to day I am flexible- papers that will need to be dealt with in the next 24 hours can be on the desk, the "to be filed" basket need not be emptied daily, laundry can wait a day as long as we all have a clean change of clothes ( for the auto accident that will cause us to dirty or clean underwear!); I would love to maintain my OCD home from years gone by- no husband and a roommate just as obsessed as I was- I had one new friend ask if I was living in the model apartment!

I believe that black/white thinking is only an issue if it leads to thoughts/actions that others would consider way out there- having strong beliefs or higher standards is not a negative, but recognizing when you are being 'black' in your thinking will help you to see others 'grey'.

[Perna]

I like to think of as many dichotomies as I can to give myself a better idea of what one might mean. For example, "all or nothing" is mentally the same as black and white to me, "left or right", etc. One thing that one notices pretty quick with dichotomies is the use of the word "or" and that there are only two choices, no in-between of any sort. Either a person, thought, thing, feeling, choice, or event is good or it is bad.

Think of seeing with no depth perception and the errors one might make? Black and white thinking is perception in two dimensions, without color, instead of three (or more :-)

[sundog]

I agree with the poster who said that black and white thinking can also be quite subtle and doesn't always have to be about extremes. My therapist pointed out to me that I use the words "always" and "never" a lot and that this is also an example of black and white thinking. For example: "I'm never going to get better". "I'm always going to have this problem". "I always screw up". "This is never going to end".

"I can't" statements can also be example of black and white thinking, for example, "I can't do this". "I can't stand this". "I can't handle this". My therapist is big on pointing out my use of language so I'm very conscious of this now.

Actually, come to think of it, some of those statements ARE pretty extreme.....!

[(JD)]

All or nothing thinking is a cognitve distortion.

You see things in black or white categories. If your effort or performance falls short of "perfect" you see yourself as a total failure. This "either-or" thinking habit may result in self-recrimination or anxiety.

Believing things have to be one way or another, there's no middle ground, no "gray" area for you. Either you agree or you don't, either it's truth or it's a lie.

HOW TO UNTWIST YOUR THINKING:

This comes from Dr David Burns and is in his book "The Feeling Good Handbook, revised edition."

1 IDENTIFY THE DISTORTION Write down your negative thoughts so you can see in which of the 10 cognitive distortions you're involved. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.

2 EXAMINE THE EVIDENCE Instead of assuming that your negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully.

3 THE DOUBLE-STANDARD METHOD Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same
compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem.

4 THE EXPERIMENTAL TECHNIQUE Do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For example, if, during an episode of panic, you become terrified that you're about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or run up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.

5 THINKING IN SHADES OF GRAY Although this method might sound drab, the effects can be illuminating. Instead of thinking about your problems in all-or-nothing extremes, reevaluate things on a range from 0 to 100. When things don't work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete falure. See what you can learn from the situation.

6. THE SURVEY METHOD Ask people questions to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal and shameful, ask several friends if they ever felt nervous before they gave a talk.

7. DEFINE TERMS When you label yourself "inferior" or "a fool" or "a loser," ask, "What is the definition of 'a fool'?" You will feel better when you see that there is no such thing as "a fool" or "a loser."

8. THE SEMANTIC METHOD Simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. This method is helpful for "should statements." Instead of telling yourself "I shouldn't have made that mistake," you can say, "It would be better if I hadn't made that mistake."

9. RE-ATTRIBUTION Instead of automatically assuming that you are "bad" and blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself and feeling guilty.

10. COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS List the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling (like becoming angry when your plane is late,) a negative thought (like "No matter how hard I try, I always mess up, ") or a behavior pattern (like overeating and lying around in bed when you're depressed.) You can also use the Cost-Benefit Analysis to modify a self-defeating belief such as, "I must always try to be perfect."

[ECHOES]

Black and white thinking is based on absolute extremes. Good vs Bad/Evil.
When a person is viewed as "good", they are placed on a pedestal and can do no wrong and we adore them.
When that same person is viewed as "bad" (for Borderline PD this can happen rapidly) then we strip them of value and they become objects of scorn, ridicule, debasement, revenge.
Trouble is, no one remains on a pedestal forever. Because we are all human. But when placed on that pedestal, our expectations are unrealistically perfectionistic and the disappointment of the impossible unfulfilled expecatations is real painful, and can feel like a betrayal.
It is even more complex that all of the above when you explore it more.

[Fuzzybear]

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