[Fuzzybear]

Do you think I am selfish?

My abusers thought I was!

Fuzzy

PS I am thinking more and more that amateur psychology and psychologists often do more harm than good. Although my professional psychologist was an @rsehole !!!!!

But the cycle of abuse is soooo tiring, ya know?

I wish I could crawl into my cave and HIDE forever. I am so tired of people.......

[h0kie]

In a word, nope.

You're the sweetest bear I know. Thinking of you and hoping your day gets better. I'm here.

No Fuzzy you are NOT selfish!!

Some people can be so hurtful and wrong.

Sorry you didn't get the help you were hoping for---that stinks!

*****hugs***** to you

mandy

[SweetSunshine]

Fuzzy ~
Nope your fine. But I tell ya what. If you want a slumber party in that cave. I'll be right there! I'm ready to crawl into one too! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr or is it rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrG?

Hugz~
Beth
ps I am going to go take a grizzly bear nap now. I am emotionally spent right now !UGH!!!!!

[January]

No Fuzzy, you're not selfish. Is there any way you can see a professional pdoc or t? I'm wish you weren't in such pain.

(((((((((((((((((( Fuzzy )))))))))))))))))))

Jan

[Gemstone]

{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}

You are NOT selfish! You wouldn't try to help others if you were.

I am sorry things are so rough.

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Fuzzybear said:
Do you think I am selfish?

My abusers thought I was!

Fuzzy

PS I am thinking more and more that amateur psychology and psychologists often do more harm than good. Although my professional psychologist was an @rsehole !!!!!

But the cycle of abuse is soooo tiring, ya know?

I wish I could crawl into my cave and HIDE forever. I am so tired of people.......

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> is someone accusing you of being selfish for taking time to focus on tending to your issues? often that is what happens when a person who is so used to doing for others first stops and learns to focus inward and begin putting themselves first. other people can get upset as one breaks free of being so stuck and makes insightful connections. it can scare those who count on you remaining as you were.

selfish is when one acts or behaves with no regard to others. selfish is doing only for you regardless of consequence of actions.

the flip side would be focusing on the self. that's when one acts or behaves with awareness of one's own issues first then weighing how they impact others around them.........sometimes making choices that others do not like but those choices are not made w/o regard or careful consideration. sometimes things that are healthiest for our personal self can be viewed as selfish by others who do not understand healthy boundaries. that is their issue not yours.

we're with Ozzie on wondering where these amateurs are practicing and why you're seeking their input?

the cycle of abuse is a hard one to break. making the decision to stop it and taking the steps to do so is an incredible achievment.

your newfound ability to express yourself with words over the past few weeks has been amazing. we're proud you've found your voice and are using it. after years of cryptic (by your own admission) posts you have said more about your situation recently than your entire time on these boards. that's awesome bear! well done!!

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks everyone for your replies,
Next time I see the "doctor" I will take a couple of threads from here with me..... perhaps this one would be one.
I hate endings but as they are part of life I will give the 8 free sessions a shot. Yes I know I have talked about this before but most of you are aware of my appalling experience(s) with the "professionals" before.
As for amateurs? There have been a few.
But my boundaries are different and healthier now so I will run if I see any serious "red flags" rather than putting up with the abuse that I was so used to.
If I had my time again I would fire my former T after a few sessions rather than a few years!
It is mainly "family" who have accused me of being selfish. Projection on their part.

Thanks again for your replies and the insight,
Fuzzy

[seeker1950]

I don't know what you mean .... amateurs vs. professionals, but my exp. with counseling has ranged from not too helpful to horrendous. Because of this, I've refrained from seeking therapy for the past 6 years, and deal with crises on my own.
I read here frequently how much devotion and faith people put in their therapists, so I am treading on fragile ground to challenge it, but my own exp. has been with flawed human beings, with their own agenda, watching the clock as working stiffls just like the rest of us. I'm cynical, I guess, but just because someone has a plaque on their wall does not give them any more insight than the average man on the street. In the end, I've resorted to a lot of hard, hard work on my own, striving toward the light, which I've finally reached happily on my own.
Seeker

[Myzen]

Fuzzy,

I know what it's like to be tormented by someone who has power over me and made to believe that everything that happens is my fault; that every single thing about me is bad.

The bad thoughts come back again and again, and we feel they will never stop.

That's what we are left with, and it's not easy.

Peaceful thoughts, M

PS - The experience of being intimately connected in a bad way with a person who cannot love and protect is very near to the hardest thing in life. As a priest once said to me, living in the absence of love is what the word 'bad' means.

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you for your replies (((( seeker )))) and (((( myzen ))))