Pregnant

Popskid · Oct 29, 2010 at 04:31 PM

I just found out today that I am pregnant. I don't want to be, I guess I was just not as careful as I should have been. I feel so confused. Angry at myself for being stupid. Angry at the father for being stupid. Terrified. I am trying not to say anything offensive, but at this point I am considering all 3 options for dealing with unwanted pregnancy. (If you need to express judgments against pro choice please start your own thread and don't ruin mine)

Being mentally ill has affected my whole life. If I hadn't struggled for so long with that then this is exactly the age when I had hoped I would be married and trying to start a family. I love children, but I'm on disability and I know that I am not in a good place to raise one. I've only been dating this guy for a couple of months so I don't know him well enough to consider him a long term partner. I want the baby, but I don't think that keeping this baby would be a responsible choice.

AAAAA · Oct 29, 2010 at 05:33 PM

I am really sorry that you've found yourself in this position. You have a lot of thinking to do and I hope you'll be able to express yourself openly and freely here, especially if you have no place else to do it.

Each option has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. I do not envy you this decision but you sound mature and realistic and I am sure that you'll make right decision. Good luck and feel free to pm me.

madisgram · Oct 29, 2010 at 06:18 PM

hey popskid.

you've got time to make the best decision. try not to be overwhemed. hugs.

lynn P. · Oct 29, 2010 at 06:46 PM

((Popskid))

- sending strength and positive vibes.

NaeNae1984 · Oct 29, 2010 at 08:18 PM

Hey Popskid, I found myself in the same situation 2 summers ago. I had an abortion and while it sucked horribly seeing everyone around me in relationships and having children (which is something i wanted but not under those circumstances), I knew I did the right thing and I never regretted my decision. Especially not now, as I am in a real, loving relationship and pregnant with my first child =) Having a baby shouldn't feel like a punishment, we all make mistakes.

Popskid · Oct 30, 2010 at 10:11 AM

Thanks for the support everyone. I've thought about it and decided that I do want to have this baby. The father is supportive and willing to be involved and help. I hope that the relationship that I have with him will work out. He is very supportive and we both care a lot for each other. It isn't what I planned, but I'm certainly not the first to have an unexpected pregnancy. Many of those people end up being very good and happy parents. Although it will be difficult I know that I can do this.

kikki27 · Oct 30, 2010 at 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Popskid

I just found out today that I am pregnant. I don't want to be, I guess I was just not as careful as I should have been. I feel so confused. Angry at myself for being stupid. Angry at the father for being stupid. Terrified. I am trying not to say anything offensive, but at this point I am considering all 3 options for dealing with unwanted pregnancy. (If you need to express judgments against pro choice please start your own thread and don't ruin mine)

Being mentally ill has affected my whole life. If I hadn't struggled for so long with that then this is exactly the age when I had hoped I would be married and trying to start a family. I love children, but I'm on disability and I know that I am not in a good place to raise one. I've only been dating this guy for a couple of months so I don't know him well enough to consider him a long term partner. I want the baby, but I don't think that keeping this baby would be a responsible choice.

Hey we dont judge here and Its your choice If you want to have this baby .I wish you good luck lots of hugs

lynn P. · Oct 30, 2010 at 11:27 AM

I'll be honest - I was holding back out of respect for you - but I'm thrilled you decided to keep this baby. When I was younger until my 30's I never wanted kids but my husband did and we had many discussions. I finally decided to have a child and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I now have 2 girls 13 and 9. I've gone through some very devastating life problems the last few years and having them with me, has kept me going - knowing I have lives depending on me. Yes I was nervous and scared but once you feel the baby moving, it's an awesome feeling. I loved every moment of my pregnancy and even the birth itself lol. I'm very happy your BF is supporting you.

lonegael · Oct 30, 2010 at 12:30 PM

((((((Popskid))))))) Those hugs would have been yours regardless of your decision. No choice is easy. Inside, I am also happy, but whatever you had decided, it would have been from the reality you live with, not mine. HUGGGGSSSS and let us knoow how it goes.

RyuB · Nov 01, 2010 at 06:21 PM

if i had my life to live over, i would even marry the same azzhole again just so i could have the same kids as i do now.

any time you're feeling doubts or fear or anxiety, come talk to us.

Popskid · Nov 02, 2010 at 09:39 AM

It is very hard not to have lots of anxiety. I guess this is normal. Worried if the baby is going to be healthy (I was on meds before I found out I was pregnant that increase risks of birth defects). Worried about miscarriage. Worried about how to deal with my mental health issues. It seems like I worry the whole time that I'm awake.

lynn P. · Nov 02, 2010 at 10:11 AM

Since this is very early in your pregnancy I think your baby will be fine...speak to your doctor. Make sure you take a pre-natal vitamin because it's very important to get enough folic acid(B vitamin) to prevent Spina Bifida.

Fetus's are very resiliant, so try not to worry -stress insn't good for you or your baby. The more calm you are, the better for your baby. I was nervous too, but you're going to be fine and I pray you'll have a healthy baby. They're hard work, but the pleasure they give out weighs any trouble they put us through.

KathyM · Nov 02, 2010 at 01:24 PM

I agree it's hard work, but a lot of pleasure. However, it also takes a lot of self-sacrifice and a lifetime commitment to the child - from both parents. Both parents need to make some sort of lifelong commitment to each other for at least for the next 18 years because the child will become your number one priority.

It becomes tricky if/when one of you decide to move onto another relationship or pursue other life goals. The new girlfriend/boyfriend might not be as thrilled about the child or having to interact with an ex on a regular basis. It would be difficult to coordinate care if one of you decide to move out of state, or start a family with someone else.

I know it's early, but I hope you have the ways and means to care for this child without having to rely on social services. It can be extremely difficult for all concerned if social services need to get involved in raising a child.

I say this only because I know how hard it is to be a single mom. Like you, I carefully considered my options. I chose to keep my baby because I was ready for that chapter in my life and had the ways and means to provide for my child without my ex-husband's help (he wasn't reliable enough to bet my child's life on). My son is an adult now, and I've never regretted my decision to keep my baby.

With hard work and dedication, it CAN be done. Congratulations, and I wish you and your child the best.

ana_rdh · Nov 25, 2010 at 02:38 AM

You have nothing to be ashamed of. If you are not where you cant support this child as you should you still have a choice. I mean if i couldn't give my child a good life i don't want to bring him to life in this miserable world where people are so greedy and selfish

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lynn P. Legendary Member Since Feb 2009 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,269 (SuperPoster!) 15 2,432 hugs given	Oct 29, 2010 at 06:46 PM #4 ((Popskid)) - sending strength and positive vibes. __________________ This is our little cutie Bella Practice on-line safety. Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. Make your mess, your message. "Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi)
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lonegael Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2009 Location: Sweden, back of beyond Posts: 3,448 15 88 hugs given	Oct 30, 2010 at 12:30 PM #9 ((((((Popskid))))))) Those hugs would have been yours regardless of your decision. No choice is easy. Inside, I am also happy, but whatever you had decided, it would have been from the reality you live with, not mine. HUGGGGSSSS and let us knoow how it goes.
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RyuB Member Member Since Oct 2010 Location: alberta Posts: 57 14	Nov 01, 2010 at 06:21 PM #10 if i had my life to live over, i would even marry the same azzhole again just so i could have the same kids as i do now. any time you're feeling doubts or fear or anxiety, come talk to us.
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Popskid Member Member Since Feb 2010 Location: US South East Posts: 55 14	Nov 02, 2010 at 09:39 AM #11 It is very hard not to have lots of anxiety. I guess this is normal. Worried if the baby is going to be healthy (I was on meds before I found out I was pregnant that increase risks of birth defects). Worried about miscarriage. Worried about how to deal with my mental health issues. It seems like I worry the whole time that I'm awake.
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ana_rdh Junior Member Member Since Nov 2010 Posts: 15 13	Nov 25, 2010 at 02:38 AM #14 You have nothing to be ashamed of. If you are not where you cant support this child as you should you still have a choice. I mean if i couldn't give my child a good life i don't want to bring him to life in this miserable world where people are so greedy and selfish
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