[LittleForgetMeNot]

Where does this mentality come from..? Trying to ruin someone's life for 2 years isn't just something you decide on a rainy day. To keep coming back even though they shut you out, to keep trying even though necessarily you've "won"; succeeded with ruining the online life three times but still not satisfied? How can someone think they can really ruin someone's life through the internet. Internet life cannot leak into real life. One 13 year old in another country can't contact my father and convince him I'm a horrible person and that he should disown me. One 13 year old in another country can't call up my guy friends from school and make them fall in love with her and hate me. A 13 year old I met 3 years ago cannot really, realistically ruin my life unless she came up here with a chainsaw and hacked my loved ones to bits. That's not happening, so.. where does this obsession come from?

Everyone keeps telling me it's jealousy, but is it just that? I mean, can you be jealous of someone who you haven't spoken to in years? Can you be jealous of someone who's life you don't know, who's voice you can't remember, who's picture you haven't seen since they were 13. Can you be jealous of a body type you've never seen, a height you've never stood beside, and a personality you haven't been around in 2 years?

And why is my life the one worth trying to ruin? Can't she ruin the life of a person she goes to school with? Better yet, why can't she just give up? Where does the obsession come from?

Self-knowledge and self-improvement are very difficult for most people. It usually needs great courage and long struggle. ~Abraham Maslow

Hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured. ~Ann Landers

Only after I committed to forgive did the toxic anger and blaming begin to abate.

http://www.redbookmag.com/print-this...imist?page=all
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=54313
http://www.uthealthleader.org/archiv...ages-0527.html
http://learningtoforgive.com/9-steps/
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com...ss/#more-74841

Be well.

[LittleForgetMeNot]

I'm plenty optimistic in real life, and so forgiving that I was caught up in an emotionally abusive relationship for a while.. I have forgiven her, I don't really care about what she's done to me anymore but I don't want to be her friend, I don't want to talk to her or hear about her. She insists on coming back however, and each time she has in the past was to mess with me.

Sometimes I feel like I need a little explanation so it's easier to just put it aside. The only one I've ever gotten was she wanted revenge (for nothing?) she's jealous, or she just enjoys harassing people. I wouldn't care if she didn't keep coming back, and I just wanted to know.. is there a reason for her to be this.. I don't know.. obsessed..?

LittleForgetMeNot,

What I've found helpful in the past was to make up stories as to why people behaved the way they did. This helped me with my road rage. When somebody cut me off I would make up a story as to why it was so important for them to do such a thing. Even when my former best friend took all my clothes from my closet and threw them away instead of turning to anger I found it better to turn to find a reason however silly or irrational that would cause her to do such a thing.

I know it sounds silly but it really has helped me.

Love and Hugs,
Tara

[madisgram]

lfmn, if i was you i'd not converse with them anymore. it disrupts your spirit. who needs "friends" like them? i wouldn't give them "rent space" in your head. there's no percentage in figuring out "why" they are the way they are.