Father's mental health

SoupDragon · May 12, 2011, 04:03 AM

I am trying to understand my difficulties and do go on a bit about labels

Anyway, I am exploring family history / genetics now. I recall my mother saying that my father had a "break down" when he was 21 and I asked her yesterday for more information about it.

Apparently he and my mother had become engaged and he would visit her by bus. He became worried that she would be found murdered and he would get the blame for it. Therefore his own father had to meet him from my mothers house to be able to verify that she was still alive when he left. My father saw a psychiatrist who thought it was the stress of the wedding that was affecting him and suggested they bring the date forward.

I am trying to work out whether this may have been due to his anxiety, OCD and intrusive thoughts, paranoia, a psychotic episode etc...

If that was his belief, also can't work out why his focus was not on the great sadness he would have felt from losing his future wife and instead was purely himself and getting imprisoned. I also understand that this was not a rational belief and therefore it may be fruitless for me to try and gain more insight.

The reason why I am trying to understand more is not because of my own problems, but for fear that there may be a genetic condtion that my kids may be affected by. My littlest (aged 5) is already showing deep emotional feelings and seems to get hurt very easily.

I would welcome anyone's elses view on this. Many thanks

disguise123 · May 12, 2011, 04:15 AM

i think that in knowing that he had these difficulties, you know the relevant history, you link that to your own and any other histories on either side of the family.
That should be enough for any doctors to know.
I understand your fears for your child, but i cant offer any more thoughts on that. Its always worth asking professionals what they think of your concerns.
Goodluck
Xx

Can't Stop Crying · May 12, 2011, 06:28 AM

I have done extensive research on my family history and found that MI goes back for generations. I believe there is a genetic as well as an environmental factor that plays a role in determining if the condition is passed down. I have a son who is severely depressed and I went though a very tough time with self-blame. I realize that now more than ever he needs me to love him and support him unconditionally. Whether or not your 5 year-old's extreme sensitivity develops into something more is hard to predict. All you can do is be the best parent you can be and remind them frequently that you love them and accept them.

My T says the best way I can help my son is by working on my issues...to show him it can be managed and to model healthy behavior.

SoupDragon · May 12, 2011, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

I have done extensive research on my family history and found that MI goes back for generations. I believe there is a genetic as well as an environmental factor that plays a role in determining if the condition is passed down. I have a son who is severely depressed and I went though a very tough time with self-blame. I realize that now more than ever he needs me to love him and support him unconditionally. Whether or not your 5 year-old's extreme sensitivity develops into something more is hard to predict. All you can do is be the best parent you can be and remind them frequently that you love them and accept them.

My T says the best way I can help my son is by working on my issues...to show him it can be managed and to model healthy behavior.

That's good advice and has come at a good time too. Have been seeing T for over a year and I am getting really frustrated with being "me" - I was thinking about stopping, but yes I do owe it to my kids to be as sorted as possible.

My 5 year old is sooo empathic. We had a hornet in the kitchen - I have a wasp phobia and so a hornet was really scarey for me - it was enormous!. I squirted it with fly spray and my son said "You're not going to kill it mummy are you? How would you like it if you went somewhere by mistake and got killed". I was rather lost for words and already shaking and sweating from my fear. But somehow I managed to take a deep breath and catch it in a cup and put it outside in the garden.