[Xeneon]

Has had rough day and would love to write and say what happened but i totally don't feel safe enough to say everything. My family is mad because I finally sad what i felt toward my father. Which has caused my family to be mad at me because he flipped out. Hes been outside all night long because of it and I'm GLADED. Does this make me a bad person? Family dinners would just be better if he would just go outside. I hate having mixed emotions because I don't know what it is. I wish i could just get out of this nightmare and i will the day I have enough money for it.

(((((BgChef53))))--I am sorry you had a bad day..........I send you out hugs--theotake care of you!!!

(Just call it a "Bad Day"!!!)

[tohelpafriend]

Hope you are feeling better. Family confrontations are always difficult and volatile, especially in front of other family members. Maybe better to tell your father what you think with a therapist there. Also, from a Mom's perspective, better to let him have the truth while you're young to avoid conflict in the future. Most peeps in therapy have long ago family issues, never resolved, schemas, or traps, and have to trace them back and rethink their responses in the present. You'd be way ahead of the game to get up close and personal with your right to be validated, feelings, etc. in therapy with him; if he's wise, he'll agree. My daughter never agreed to therapy after she married a woman; now she ignores my place as her mother. Bad stuff; as you wrote..."forgiveness is divine"...I love that quote. When you're out of his house, and have your own turf, it'll be better.

[madisgram]

BC, can totally relate to your being invalidated. it burns me to a crisp cause then i second guess myself. don't beat yourself up over this. you had something to say. sounds like living at home is difficult for you. i'd chalk it up to "what is"-i don't think he'd be receptive to trying to work things out, imho. i don't know the issue at hand but obviously it's upsetting. save money if u can and plan to move out.

[Xeneon]

Originally Posted by theodora

(((((BgChef53))))--I am sorry you had a bad day..........I send you out hugs--theotake care of you!!!

(Just call it a "Bad Day"!!!)

Thanks I needed that...=D

[Xeneon]

Originally Posted by tohelpafriend

Hope you are feeling better. Family confrontations are always difficult and volatile, especially in front of other family members. Maybe better to tell your father what you think with a therapist there. Also, from a Mom's perspective, better to let him have the truth while you're young to avoid conflict in the future. Most peeps in therapy have long ago family issues, never resolved, schemas, or traps, and have to trace them back and rethink their responses in the present. You'd be way ahead of the game to get up close and personal with your right to be validated, feelings, etc. in therapy with him; if he's wise, he'll agree. My daughter never agreed to therapy after she married a woman; now she ignores my place as her mother. Bad stuff; as you wrote..."forgiveness is divine"...I love that quote. When you're out of his house, and have your own turf, it'll be better.

Thanks for ideas but the last time i was in therapy, he couldn't even know. He thinks its lame and stupid. People always say when you out of his house it will better, well i sure hope so. Thanks responding to my thread it means alot. Take care!!

[Xeneon]

Originally Posted by madisgram

BC, can totally relate to your being invalidated. it burns me to a crisp cause then i second guess myself. don't beat yourself up over this. you had something to say. sounds like living at home is difficult for you. i'd chalk it up to "what is"-i don't think he'd be receptive to trying to work things out, imho. i don't know the issue at hand but obviously it's upsetting. save money if u can and plan to move out.

It really is hard for me to live at home with my parents. I wish that my family was the picture perfect family i always wanted but nobody has a picture perfect family. Thanks for replying and Take care.

[Chancellor]

Originally Posted by BgChef53

Has had rough day and would love to write and say what happened but i totally don't feel safe enough to say everything. My family is mad because I finally sad what i felt toward my father. Which has caused my family to be mad at me because he flipped out. Hes been outside all night long because of it and I'm GLADED. Does this make me a bad person? Family dinners would just be better if he would just go outside. I hate having mixed emotions because I don't know what it is. I wish i could just get out of this nightmare and i will the day I have enough money for it.

So, why is your family's reaction to you being honest about what you were feeling your problem? Whether you and your dad don't like each other or have clashing personalities or whatever, I don't see what's supposed to be so wonderful about putting on some metaphoric mask and pretending you feel something you don't. Then again, I never really got the whole family thing anyway. I think that whatever is between you and your dad is for the two of you to work out.

[lxegirl]

i know what you mean, hugs...