[MadyJohannah]

I started back to school last fall and I met Rachel. We had a few classes together and became friends. She does have this one little quirk, however. She says she's ocd about certain things, and it drives me NUTS Is that even possible? I didn't think so. It's insane. She's ocd about reading, about taking notes, about doing homework, about her job, about driving. BUT, she does not have OCD. I know people who have that disorder. She's not one of them. How can I make her realize that she doesn't have ocd and that she's doing people with the disorder a disservice by "trying to fit in" with them. I mentioned it to her once and she flew off the handle. She said it only "hit" her after she had children and that I could not possibly understand. Some people are just loony. Anyone who would use their "dis-ease" as an attention-getter is just plain wacko.

[ECHOES]

Why does her believing she has OCD bother you so much?
You can be friends but disagree about things...

[MadyJohannah]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Why does her believing she has OCD bother you so much?
You can be friends but disagree about things...

I really don't know. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I have bp 2 and people stereotype me and everyone else who is bp constantly. I guess I think she is just stereotyping people who have ocd. I don't know, I just feel that she is using it as an excuse for a lot of things. Example: We had to give a presentation in our psych class and we were supposed to dress in a professional manner. She shows up in old jeans and an old t-shirt. When I asked her why she didn't dress accordingly she said that she had kids and that means that she can have no nice clothes and that she was ocd about how she dresses. It just got next to me. I probably shouldn't be upset because this is most like just the most ridiculous thing, but I just can't get over it. I think I need to just find a way to let it go.

[mgran]

How do you know she doesn't have OCD? It could be that it manifests itself in ways that you've not seen before. I have obsessive compulsive tendencies, but then most poeple wouldn't notice. Perhaps you'd like her not to "brag" about it, if that's how it seems... but are you really certain she's not suffering from this condition? You're saying she doesn't fit into your perception of OCD ... isn't that a form of stereotyping? What does someone suffering from OCD "seem" like? Are you sure that you're not the one with the narrow view of what OCD looks like? Just because you know a few people with OCD who aren't like your friend doesn't mean that you're suddenly an expert on the condition.

Even if she didn't have OCD, why would that matter to you? To be honest, how someone chooses to define themselves, or express their experience of life, shouldn't really get to you that much. Why should you WANT to persuade her she's not got OCD? Perhaps you could suggest she sees a therapist, and let them decide what the problem is (if there is one.)

I hope you're not cross with me, I'm not trying to be snotty or anything... just I really can't see why this is such a big deal to you.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MadyJohannah

I started back to school last fall and I met Rachel. We had a few classes together and became friends. She does have this one little quirk, however. She says she's ocd about certain things, and it drives me NUTS Is that even possible? I didn't think so. It's insane. She's ocd about reading, about taking notes, about doing homework, about her job, about driving. BUT, she does not have OCD. I know people who have that disorder. She's not one of them. How can I make her realize that she doesn't have ocd and that she's doing people with the disorder a disservice by "trying to fit in" with them. I mentioned it to her once and she flew off the handle. She said it only "hit" her after she had children and that I could not possibly understand. Some people are just loony. Anyone who would use their "dis-ease" as an attention-getter is just plain wacko.

yes it is possible to have OCD around only certain things. thats what the disorder is. you are obcessive and compulive around things. some people have obcessions about germs so their compulsion is repeatedly washing of the hands, wearing facial masks and other things that will prevent their being in contact with germs. another person can have an obcession about hording newspapers to the point where they are compulsively stacking newspapers along their walls and one day all thats left of their home is a maze of newspaper "walls" some people are OCD about their grades. their compulsion leads them to study every waking hour of their life so that they are perfect in their classes and careers.

most times OCD people do have their own obcessions and cumpulsions, some have lots of obcessions and cumpulsions and others have only one or two. My partner is one that must every morning have at least a cup of coffee. no matter where we are or what we are doing. imagine going camping and forgetting the portable brewer or at the least instant coffee. no body for miles can be a happy camper if that happens here LOL My obcession/ compulsion is animals. Im like an animal magnet, if theres a stray with in this city that needs a home Im there to take it in and get it spayed/nutered and find it a hopefully forever home.

you cant change people who have OCD but their symptoms can be managed and services that can help with the burden it poses are available through all kinds of agencies. example the SPCA gives vouchers for people like me so that when we find a stray it doesnt cost us anything. they know the odds of finding these strays a home is vastly improved if the animal is already "fixed and shots" it keeps the animal population down, their kennels free for others that dont have the space for taking in strays and the animals win too because they are getting a roof over their heads, socializing skills with someone who has TLC abound.

OCD is hard to live with but its manageable.

[lynn P.]

I interpreted your post a different way and you can correct me if I'm wrong. Does your friend actually have OCD or is she just terming certain actions in a matter of fact way and that's what's bothering you? Or does she have it and is blaming it or using it as a crutch?

Is it using the term loosely when she doesn't have it that bothers you? If that's the case I could see how it's not right.

[eskielover]

I read your post along the lines of Lynn......if she hasn't really gone to a therapist & been formally dx'ed with OCD but it using the term for the things that she is "HIGHLY DRIVEN" in.....I can understand the issues you are having with what she is claiming......but in the whole scheme of life...it doesn't really matter. Here is the DSM's write up & way they use to determine OCD...you might want to just print it out & give it to her if she hasn't actually been formally dx'ed. http://psychcentral.com/disorders/ocd/...if nothing else, it will be educational for her since she likes to read.

Usually to be Dx'ed with a mental illness (MI), it has to be something that is actually disrupting your life & life style & actually HURTING you rather than something you are just driven to be obsessive or compulsive about.....that is usually the defining line between just being Obsessive/Driven & being Obsessive/Compulsive as defined by the DSM & a formal psychologist.

Hey...noticed you are in Kentucky....you go to UK? or one of the other universities here?.....I just moved to KY 4 years ago....really LOVE it here.

[Indie'sOK]

I can understand where you are coming from because I too hate when people exaggerate the issues they may or may not have just to fit in (think the word "emo" or "c*tter")

However...it is very possible to have obsessive-compusive tendencies about certain things. I am this way with writing. I will "have" to write and erase and rewrite certain words or letters in my notes and homework for no particular reason, over and over again. Do I have OCD? Probably not. That's where the word tendencies comes in. Unless she has been seen by a doctor or therapist who can diagnose her case, she very well might have this disorder and not be aware of it. Maybe she has it worse then she is letting on to you..who knows? I feel for her because it is hard to have certain quirks like this without having it to a bad enough degree to be taken "seriously" by therapists...hence the word "tendencies" again.

I hope this helps some and isn't insulting. Have you suggested that she see a therapist or doctor?

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by mgran

How do you know she doesn't have OCD? It could be that it manifests itself in ways that you've not seen before. I have obsessive compulsive tendencies, but then most poeple wouldn't notice. Perhaps you'd like her not to "brag" about it, if that's how it seems... but are you really certain she's not suffering from this condition? You're saying she doesn't fit into your perception of OCD ... isn't that a form of stereotyping? What does someone suffering from OCD "seem" like? Are you sure that you're not the one with the narrow view of what OCD looks like? Just because you know a few people with OCD who aren't like your friend doesn't mean that you're suddenly an expert on the condition.

Even if she didn't have OCD, why would that matter to you? To be honest, how someone chooses to define themselves, or express their experience of life, shouldn't really get to you that much. Why should you WANT to persuade her she's not got OCD? Perhaps you could suggest she sees a therapist, and let them decide what the problem is (if there is one.)

I hope you're not cross with me, I'm not trying to be snotty or anything... just I really can't see why this is such a big deal to you.

Very well said

I think like every other thing, people may like to say they are OCD or whatever other illness to compensate for their shortcomings.

However, i totally agree with mgran in that you don't know that this person doesn't have OCD,

yes it is possible to have OCD around only certain things. thats what the disorder is. you are obcessive and compulive around things. some people have obcessions about germs so their compulsion is repeatedly washing of the hands, wearing facial masks and other things that will prevent their being in contact with germs. another person can have an obcession about hording newspapers to the point where they are compulsively stacking newspapers along their walls and one day all thats left of their home is a maze of newspaper "walls" some people are OCD about their grades. their compulsion leads them to study every waking hour of their life so that they are perfect in their classes and careers.

and it is possible to have either just the O or just the C...according to my pdoc and therapist...I have the O...

If this woman is bothering you so much, maybe she's someone you shouldn't be friends with.

[insightunseen]

ty all above who posted to try to educate about OCD. it is a painful disorder, one that often comes on after hormonal changes, with many diverse symptoms such as "scrupulosity" where you might fear dressing nicely because you think if a man found you attractive you were doing something morally wrong. check out anxiety disorders of america for excellent real life stories of recovery. great site.
and please, since all of us have been exposed to too much prejudice, let's use less judgmental language toward our friends, like insane and loony and wacko. just a thought.

[lynn P.]

What I got from the post was as the above poster said - that it was being used as an 'off the cuff' response. For example if a person checks if they locked the door more than once they might say "I'm having an OCD moment" and I could see how that would bother someone who has OCD. Or if someone looks sad someone might say "what's wrong are you bipolar or something"? Pardon me for saying those examples.

I'll be interested in hearing from the original poster as to what she meant. It bugs me to no end when people casually use the 'gay' word in an insulting manner.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MadyJohannah

I really don't know. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I have bp 2 and people stereotype me and everyone else who is bp constantly. I guess I think she is just stereotyping people who have ocd. I don't know, I just feel that she is using it as an excuse for a lot of things. Example: We had to give a presentation in our psych class and we were supposed to dress in a professional manner. She shows up in old jeans and an old t-shirt. When I asked her why she didn't dress accordingly she said that she had kids and that means that she can have no nice clothes and that she was ocd about how she dresses. It just got next to me. I probably shouldn't be upset because this is most like just the most ridiculous thing, but I just can't get over it. I think I need to just find a way to let it go.

I was revisiting all my posts and came across this post by you I didnt see.. wanted to let you know this person who has OCD around her clothes may actually be serious and not steriotyping at all. I have a client. she always appeared at the crisis center in worn jeans, t-shirt and sweat shirt. we all thought the reason was because she may not have the funds for clothes for her interview. So we dipped into the advocate fund and I took this young lady to the store to buy interview appropriate clothes. when we got there all she would look at was jeans, t shirts and sweat shirts. when I tried to steer her to the more apropriate blouses, and dressier looking pants she entered panic phase she began shaking, taking breaths as if she couldnt breath, pacing in the isle and repeatedly saying can we go now, please lets just go now. when we were out side she had her sweatshirt pulled tight against her and clutching it as if I was going to take it away from her. After she calmed down we went back into the store and chose a nice t-shirt with a flower print, dark jeans and a dark zippered style sweat shirt, all in the same fabrics that does not cause her problems.

I also have a client that is unable to wear dressy type clothing because they are usually made of polyester which this client is unable to touch without having an ocd reaction.

it is quite possible this person you are talking about does have OCD anxiety around clothing and fabric materials. the technical term for have OCD fear/anxiety around clothing is Vestiphobia.

here is a list of some of the things people can have fears and anxiety OCD about and what the technical terms for them are. but dont limit to just these things because theres bound to be people out there somewhere who have anxiety / fears and OCD around things that are not on this list too.

OCD is manageable and not all exhibit the same symptoms.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I was revisiting all my posts and came across this post by you I didnt see.. wanted to let you know this person who has OCD around her clothes may actually be serious and not steriotyping at all. I have a client. she always appeared at the crisis center in worn jeans, t-shirt and sweat shirt. we all thought the reason was because she may not have the funds for clothes for her interview. So we dipped into the advocate fund and I took this young lady to the store to buy interview appropriate clothes. when we got there all she would look at was jeans, t shirts and sweat shirts. when I tried to steer her to the more apropriate blouses, and dressier looking pants she entered panic phase she began shaking, taking breaths as if she couldnt breath, pacing in the isle and repeatedly saying can we go now, please lets just go now. when we were out side she had her sweatshirt pulled tight against her and clutching it as if I was going to take it away from her. After she calmed down we went back into the store and chose a nice t-shirt with a flower print, dark jeans and a dark zippered style sweat shirt, all in the same fabrics that does not cause her problems.

I also have a client that is unable to wear dressy type clothing because they are usually made of polyester which this client is unable to touch without having an ocd reaction.

it is quite possible this person you are talking about does have OCD anxiety around clothing and fabric materials. the technical term for have OCD fear/anxiety around clothing is Vestiphobia.

here is a list of some of the things people can have fears and anxiety OCD about and what the technical terms for them are. but dont limit to just these things because theres bound to be people out there somewhere who have anxiety / fears and OCD around things that are not on this list too.

OCD is manageable and not all exhibit the same symptoms.

rereading my post tonight I realized I forgot to add the link that was supposed to be between the last line of my post and the last paragraph sorry. here it is http://phobialist.com/