[Secretum]

I have bipolar II (among other issues) and sometimes I feel selfish for seeking treatment. Why should I use my parents' health insurance so that I can see a psychiatrist? Why should I spend 50 minutes a week in therapy talking exclusively about my issues? Add in the fact that only 1 in 3 people with bipolar are in treatment for it, and I cannot help but feel like a weak, self-absorbed loser who is simply unwilling to overcome her little problems on her own.

Recently, however, while spending time with a friend who has diagnosed but untreated dysthymia, I was provided with a new prospective on this issue. I saw what it was like to be the *friend* of someone with a mental disorder, rather than just the person directly affected. Neither she nor I was having a good night when we got together. I desperately needed someone to ask me if I was alright, to listen to me moan, to reassure me that everything was going to be alright. I am certain that my poor friend probably needed the same kind of support. However, we were both too absorbed in our own suffering to "be there" for the other person. By not treating her disorder, my friend had unintentionally caused me harm. My negligence to get adequate treatment (I am not on meds and have been out of therapy for two months) likewise hurt my friend.

So, I thought it would be a good idea to make a list of unselfish reasons to seek help for psychiatric problems. Perhaps if we reflected more on how our illnesses hurt others, we would be more likely to seek the treatment that would reduce both their and our suffering.

I'll start:
1. You should get help so that you can hold the tissue box for a hurting friend. (any condition that causes pain)

2. You should get help so that your children don't have to endure a childhood of canceled plans and broken promises because their parent is sick. (depression, bipolar, BPD)

3. You should get help so that your friends don't have to wonder if they have somehow wronged you when your illness causes you to isolate yourself. (depression, bipolar, BPD)

[Open Eyes]

I think you came up with some good answers. Perhaps you have discovered that by not getting help it is more selfish.

Open Eyes

[Leed]

You did come up with good reason. But why SHOULDN'T you be treated? Why should others get treatment, and you not? Aren't you worthy of being healthy? Of COURSE you are. Many people who don't get treated either don't have insurance and can't afford it, or else they're in denial about their illness.

I'm glad you're seeing that you SHOULD get treatment -- it isn't selfish. For instance, if you had diabetes, you'd get treatment, right? Well, you have a mental disease, and that's just as important as diabetes! It affects every aspect of your life.

I hope you get back into therapy soon. You deserve it. Take care of yourself, & keep us posted. Hugs, Lee

[Perna]

All of life is selfish. We only have ourselves, our own life to live. We can't live other people's lives, we can't even "help" them without their consent. You eat, sleep, breathe, etc. to live; is that selfish? Not everyone has enough food, is your having enough and eating it selfish?

I have asthma and my area (Baltimore) is under a Code Red air alert today so I can't go outside; it is selfish of us to have fouled the air so I can't go outside but it is not selfish of me to have asthma. Bodies have various and different individual problems and yours apparently has bipolar problems; your body needs certain help to be healthier. That's not selfish. Yes, you could probably work harder to be healthier (by eating better or making sure you get adequate sleep, etc.) but some of that is also going to the doctor and therapist and others who can help you decide how best to help your body.

[madisgram]

a spiritual saying, justme, God helps those who help themselves.
your conclusions i thought were quite introspective.