Getting triggered

When I first came here I made a point to stay away from the ABUSE forum because I found it to be very triggering.

When time when on, feeling more confident and stronger mentally, I ventured in to reply to posts and to make some posts of my own as I needed support and I know there are others in need of support as well.

I was triggered soon after that and stopped going in there until I felt mentally strong enough again to do so.

Well, time past again, felt ok enough to go back in there and was reading a post that felt as though I was kicked in the gut. Again, feeling triggered, I am right back where I started from.

I know that a person stays away from a particular forum for the very same reasons that I have stated above but I get a little discouraged when I keep taking these steps backwards.

I want to support, but how can I when I go in there and get upset. Is there some type of line I need to draw with myself. Or am I just a complete idiot. (dont answer that!!!)

Huggles

Ok, I'll answer that! You ARE NOT a complete idiot!

The same thing happens to me all the time. Sorry if maybe I triggered ya. I know I go into too much detail sometimes. Anyways, I think you are only trying to do the right thing by being supportive. I think it's great that you give yourself time to recuperate from the forums.

I'm pretty stubborn and no matter how upset I get...sometimes I get off the forums in tears...I keep going back and reading them day after day after day. I put myself on the back burner a lot just to help out others.

Please give yourself the time. You need it. Don't read things that may trigger you...or stop reading as soon as you feel a bit upset. You can always reply to the part you read and just say you couldn't read it all since you got so upset. I know I'm not the only one who would understand that.

Hang in there and take care.

((((((((Lex)))))))))

Please dont ever be sorry for anything that you post on that forum or any other. This is an issue that I am having a hard time with.

I encourage everone to post whatever they need to because I know, however painful it is at the time, it is better in the long run. Knowing that your not the only one that has endured something makes us all feel less alone, therefore we feel we can face our past and our fears together through support and understanding.

I am sorry if I have made you or anyone else feel they should be sorry for their posts. I didnt mean it that way.

I just wish I could maintain mental strength, ya know.


Big huggles to you LEXI

(((((jmo)))))

I'm sorry that you're experiencing this right now, as I can imagine it's very discouraging. You're not a complete idiot, and I think the part you described about staying out of those forums until you felt mentally strong enough is very wise! When you say you take these steps backwards- does that mean that if you go in those forums when you're not as mentally healthy as you thought you become less mentally healthy?

We're here for you. PS: Thanks for all of your wonderful, supportive posts!! Keep us updated!

Andy

I do the same thing. But I see it as a good thing.

On the days when I am doing ok and / or good I challenge myself to go into areas or posts that I know is going to give me a reaction. (I am actually singing itsy bitsy spider today and NOT picturing horrors of the mind kind LOL)

Anyway It isn't because I want to upset myself but I know that the only way I am going to get anywhere is if I meet these challenges head on or at least clipping it little by little from the side or diagonal angle.

Sometimes it take up to 5-10 attempts at reading a specific post before I reach the end of it. and each time I write down what the trigger factor is or at which point I notice I'm heading into my mental safe place and which post it is.

And then after I finally made it through to the end its like a giant "WOW I made it through" and I found or narrowed down another one of my triggers.

then to celebrate my accomplishment I do something special like a mcdonalds hot fudge sunday (which cost a big whapping .50 cents but sure does taste great to me)

No You are not a complete idiot and are not the only one that goes back for more.

You're not stupid.

We all have hard times, and we try our best. ::

I don't think anyone can be supportive all the time. It is especially hard in that forum when we all have things that trigger us. You may consider when reading a post that if you start to become uncomfortable to stop reading and don't worry about not being supportive. You need to take care of yourself. If that means you don't read any more that day or for a while then that is the way it should be. Please don't feel obligated to read posts that are counterproductive to your well being. That is one of the wonderful parts of a community of this size and caring attitude is there will be someone else prepared to be supportive for that person. Please take care of yourself and give yourself the time you need to heal yourself.

Yep, another great thing about PC, we don't get into trouble for bailing out. When my brain says,"I can't do this", for whatever reason, and I hit a button to leave trouble behind, nothing bad happens. This is amazing to me.

I want to support, but how can I when I go in there and get upset

Maybe you need to start your own thread and let us support you until you gain enough strength to venture out on your own...and even if you never can, Jen...we'll still support you however you need us to.

Petunia

{{{{{jmo}}}}}

We get triggered all the time, by reading posts

but sometimes it's good, in the long run,

because we are learning new stuff about ourselves through

the things that trigger us

We will be here for you (((((jmo)))))

Jenn, Jenn, Jenn!!!!!!!!!!!

There are some places I cannot go unless a member specifically pms me for help on a specific post in one of the forums I can't manage.

It's called abuse, sweetie. Don't go where you can't take care of yourself. You are one of the most kind, giving and supportive people I know. Yet, we all have our limits. Respect your limits. Take care of yourself first. Only then can you take care of the rest of us.

Remember, we all count on each other. Where one of us is strong, one of us is weak. It's called community, and with all of us working together, we are strong!

Love,

Jan

{{{{{{{{{{Jen}}}}}}}}}}} You're not alone in this... and I understand completely. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're not ready. It's okay. The time will come, I promise. You're venturing into the Abuse forum CAN be used, very sparingly, as a "desensitisation" for you... IF that kind of thing works for you. For me, I have to be pretty strong emotionally to be able to read any of the posts there. Haven't been there in a few months now.

Be kind to yourself, Hun. Don't rush and don't feel guilty, either!

Jen,

It's ok for you to go in there and start your own thread asking for support without reading any of the other threads. Really it is. If there's one thing I've noticed here, people aren't really keeping score. And if anyone is going to understand about being triggered, the people who frequent that section will.

So go in there, ask for what you need and then soak up all that support. You deserve it!! And you don't have to suffer to get it either.

(((((Jen)))))

All of you are a perfect example of why I feel at ease enough to post my feelings and thoughts and not feel like I am alone. Thank you for that.

I have posted in that forum a few times. Because I needed to get it out. I needed to express myself, confront my past and see actually see it. If that makes sense. Before coming here, I rarely, if ever, talked about my past and the abuse that I suffered. I kept in in, determined to never let it out. I thought I could make it go away .

I guess the problem I have is actually posting in that forum and expecting others to support me and show me that I am not alone, when in turn, I can not do the same. I feel like, well, Please help me, but I cant help you. , ya know?

But I also know, that I can do only what I can do and what is best for me. What is healthy for me and I know I can not push myself beyond my limits.

As Myself said above, I do often push myself to go into forums I dont usually go into to make myself face what I am afraid of, but often feel like a failure when I can not handle it .

I appreciate the support you have shown me here, all of you are such special people. Thank you so much.


Huggles and love,


Jen

(((((jmo)))))

You can never tell when a post will trigger you

It may not be a good idea to go to forums where you don't

feel comfortable

We have to avoid a lot of forums & even threads

it's hard when your friends post to them & you want to

see what they said

the same reason the "ignore user" function doesn't work

for all of us

Don't worry about the rest of us, post whatever you need

to say We're all survivors here

This is the first place we have ever felt able to express

our own truths too. Keep it up !!! Truth is the only

answer for any of us

Dear Jen,

There is also forums I can't go into. There is one that triggers me that I do go in but very rarely. There is one I can't even enter at all. Just the title of the forum gets to me.

I don't think Jen that it's a good idea to go in there and get so triggered that after we can't even support in any forum. Bad triggers can brought us very down. Until we can come to term with these triggers I think, for me anyway, it is in my best interest to just stay away not because I don't care for the people in there but because I will only hurt myself even more and then I will not be any help to anyone.

You are just great Jen! Never forget that!

(((((((((((((((((Jen)))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((Zorah)))))))))))

((((((((((Time0))))))))))))


Thank you both for your understanding and support. I appreciate it more then you know.

Big squishy hugs to all of you

Sorry you are wobbling on the fence on this one ((hugs)) IMO it might be best to just begin a thread for mild discussion, and read that only for a while? Or, maybe find one or two other members who post less graphically that you can read "only" for a awhile. Maybe find someone through chat here?

I understand your dilemma. It's a good point, also, for why threads are moved to their more appropriate forum when they are put in the General Forum first.imo.

I hope you can find a good solution, for this, for you. TC

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