Well that was weird. =D I'm sort of proud of myself!

Man, I doubt anyone's noticed but i have been away for like...some something days....can't remember the number. ^^ But that's not really the point to this board, the point is THE. REASONING. BEHIND. WHY. I. WAS. GONE! *Bangs mallet on table after each pause*

Voice In My Head- She's really having fun with this. -.-

^^ Yep! Anyways! First off I had my first panic attack. ^^ Which isn't good...really I'm mostly just happy it's over. And the reason I am proud of myself is because I managed to get through it without having to run to someone crying. What happened I think was a friend I met online mentioned a way to find out a persons address (I don't think he was serious now that I think of it) and I just panicked. Everything started to hurt, I was shaking all over and I just kept running around sometimes just running in a blind frenzied circle and other times putting up the best security possible on my computer and other things. Luckily I started to read a manga (Full Moon Wo Sagashite, I highly recommend it!) and it calmed me down enough so that I could take some sort of medicine to get rid of my headache and go to sleep. Now this is proof that I really should see a doctor or something lest it gets worse.
(Also I have wanted to know, if you are diagnosed with ADD, OCD, or just plain anxiety *What I am thought to have* will it affect the jobs you can or can't get when I get out of college?)

But it doesn't end there! Oh no! I still refused to come online and talk to people (Hence why I wasn't here) and heck for a little bit I didn't come online at all. But slowly I adjsuted to my own pattern (With a few changes) and now am almost back in full online throttle. ^^ I still need to get up the guts to go back and talk to my friend but that's about it. I think I can handle it.

I discovered this thing on my tv that let's me buy tv programs, and I got this excercise programs that specializes in Ballet! =D It's really hard and my legs hurt like hell, but I can feel myself getting stronger and it's just relaxing. When you're doing ballet you need to make sure to keep your posture strraight, head up, and still do the moves and that doesn't leave much space for worrying. It's really fun. I might start taking lessons next month if I can.

And that is about it! *Hugs everyone who read this far* (You must have a lot of patience for hyper people huh?) I don't think this post made very much sense. I just wanted to tell someone. Arigato for listening.

Love Jen

I just want you to know that no matter what your problem or disability is, there is nothing that can stop you from doing what "you want to accomplish" as long as your goals are not so way far out of line that it would be hard for even people without problems to succeed.

It is important for you to know what your limitations are, but when you graduate from college/university, that in itself is a wonderful accomplishment & proves that you are strong enouth & you need to realize how successful you are.

I have to admit that there are some things that may come harder to a person with problems (disabilities), but that doesn't mean that with a lot of work & determination on your part that you can't be as good if not better than those who have no drive or the want to succeed.

Just a small story that may give you some light on the concept of desire. In highschool, my husband was supposed to have a very high IQ, but when he went to a junior college instead of the university he really wanted to go to, he did absolutely horrible in school & his thinking was that he was too good for that school (so he got horrible grades & didn't put any effort into being an outstanding student proving that he was so much better. I on the other hand had a fairly high IQ, but I had the drive to excell in school because I always wated to be the best & pushed & pushed myself. When he graduated from the 4 year university, he continued with his attitude & figured that any company he interviewed with owed him a job.....& no one wanted to hire him. I on the other hand had gotten married, knew my limits & studying was my priority (which he claimed was me being controlling). To top that off, I had our child 10 moths before graduation.....I continued ith my education & came out with an A- grade point average & interviewed with some companies that came on campus & had several wonderful offers even before I graduated.

Whan I am saying is that your determination is more powerful than anyone can ever tell you. Don't listen to anyone that telles you that you can't do it, or it will be impossible. Nothing is impossible as long as you want it, you can do anything you want to do & don't let anyone discourage you......you are doing a wonderful job of continuing & working so hard at what you are doing.....sounds to me like you have an awful lot to be very proud of yourself for.....keep up the good work.

With your attitude, you will be very successful & don't ever forget that,
Debbie

As long as you're qualified to work somewhere there is nothing that should stop you from attaining such employment. Otherwise, it's called discrimination.

I'm really glad that you were able to get through your first panic attack. They can sometimes be very debilitating for some people.

Take care!