[kimthecatlover]

I wonder if anyone else here has had mental health staff be a little nervous about a good thing happening to them like going to college? I hear them saying 'watch out that you don't overstress yourself' and looking in on me more than usual..why? It's not like I'm going to screw up anytime soon...I've had jobs and gone to school before and I handled it well..I know college is hard work I am not one bit naive about that! Although I'm going full-time I have set aside time for myself to take care of my business and have some downtime..why do people still worry about me stressing out? Has anyone else new to college life gone through this?

[JustBen]

This is a good example of transference, Kim. The staff is reacting to you based on all their experiences with other people. The chances are good that they've helped folks in the past who have had a rough time with college--so when you get into college, they react to you the same way, even though it doesn't fit.

[kimthecatlover]

I know it's a new thing for me, and that I'm probably not the only one who my staff has been concerned about going to college..There have been others that have gone to college in my program..and a few have done very well. I wonder if it's because I'm a full time student (four courses, 13 credits)I am only going to college four days a week(Tuesdays I don't go because I have personal obligations)..and only 2 1/2 hour classes with two classes on Thursdays..I wonder if it's the major I'm doing(Psychology)and that it might affect my therapy..or homework issues...or that I might become a workaholic, not taking time for myself(I do plan to have the 'downtime' I need, fun and relaxation)..But I think they worry about anyone going to college..like a parent or loved one would.

[kimthecatlover]

One of the things about mental-health staff I can't fathom is why they seem to bring up the possibility of 'stress' or 'relapse' when someone is going to do something like college that will ENHANCE their life...it's like they have some need to keep people reminded of their illness...I know I have a mental illness, but I know I'm well enough to go to college..and I'm honestly not the same person, emotionally, that I was when I was first diagnosed...and no longer a 'revolving-door patient'....why do they still worry..Yeah I'm a little nervous, but it's not affecting me badly, I take time for 'me' still, I get my sleep, I eat well, I've been able to handle the entrance test for college, applying for financial aid(which I did,myself,on the Web), setting up my class schedule, even getting my books on my own..I think they MIGHT stop worrying, honestly, when I wear the cap and gown....

[(JD)]

Even good stress is stress... happy times add stress...and certainly college! Pressure of studying, schedules, homework, social activities, new relationships, tests, finances.. being on time, wow!

[kimthecatlover]

I start college tomorrow..yeah, I'm just a little anxious, but I'm keeping it positive....I will tell all of you how my first class went tomorrow night...if anyone is interested I am keeping a journal on AOL.... AOL Journals

[eskielover]

I never had a "staff" while going to college. I got my BS before I ever had any mental issues & had the best time of my life even though it took so much work for me. I always had to work harder than everyone else to get those straight A's I expected for myself.....I wasn't satisfied with anything else. I ended up graduating with a 3.25 GBP which I was pretty proud of considering I went from Music to Computer Science. My striving for the A's allowed me to come up with at least the 3.25 which has always been my phylosophy. If I strive for the best & I come up with a little less, I will at least be better than if I didn't try as hard.

Two years ago, I decided to go back to college & change my career direction to interior design. I got very involved & became treasurer of the Interior design club on campus & the person that held down the relations with the professional clubs that were out there to help along the college students. I was only taking 3 classes & actually pulled the straight A's that I expected of myself. I found out that disabled students has a group on all campuses in the US colleges/universities. They work with your pdoc's DX & provide you depending on your DX, special considerations that will help you get through college. These things include the ability to tape lectures, to take tests in a quiet location rather that in the noisy class room. They also allow more time to take tests & finish projects, & I am sure that there are other things that they allow for other DX's. It is only between the instructor, the disabled students workers, & no one else even there is anything going on. I found it helped me at timed, & at other times, I didn't need the help, but when I needed the help, at least it was there for me.

My Pdoc was concerned about my going back to college, & my psychologist was very happy about it. I got through that one semester & realized that it wasn't what I really wanted to focus on, but would rather have gone into Computer Added Design for interior design since my love for computers just can't go away. Unfortunately when the semester was about to start I was in the hospital for 10 days dealing with asthma. Then my mare had my filly(Izzy), & my Mother's cancer started getting worse after her surgery she had in June. I got trapped into a situation with my Mother because of her desire to go home & not into a nursing home that ended up causing me to catch the home care RN stealing my Mothers ID. Everything that I went through with that ended up causing a horrible PTSD reaction that the Dr's didn't understand & wanted to define is as only anorexia rather than the complete package of what I was going through. I was hospitalized for 2 months having to have a Central Line with IV nutrition.......& with all this going on, there just wasn't room for going back to college.

I had to realize myself that the time wasn't right for me to go back to college & no one told me what to do. I feel is it important for you to make up your decisions about your college & the classes you choose......then after thinking it through thoroughly then discuss it with them. That way, they realize that you have put enough thought into your dicisions that they will understand & trust your thinking. They may even have ideas that you haven't thought of & you may have to take some time to add those thoughts to what you have been thinking. Use everything put together to help you make your decisions.....but you are the one in the end that needs to do what you feel you are able to do. Sometimes it is good to start a little slower than you would really hope to.....just to build up your confidence in the fact that you are able to do the required work & can do it well enough to satisfy yourself. College/University is hard.....not at all like high school. The expectation is that you are now an adult & are expceted to act like one & be completely responsible for completing your work on time & no excuses (like my dog ate my homework.....lol....believe it actually happened to me one time very embarasing....but thank heavens for computer backups).

The staff that are concerned about you are very caring, but it seems like you need to let them know how important it is for you to make your own decisions....& that you would like to have them talk over your decisions with you & add any suggestions that they think may be necessary, but that the final decisions need to be yours so that you can feel that you are in control of your life......which is really part of what college is all about.

Your staff needs to realize where you want them to fit into your decision making process so that they are working with you & not controlling you.

Maybe if you can get them to understand your needs, they will be able to be a better help to you & their thoughts will be better respected.

Just a thought, being a very independent person myself & not liking people to tell me what to do without taking my thoughts into consideration. You sound very similar to my thinking, so maybe you can get then to "work with you".

I hope you can work out the relationship between you & them......school is enough stress without having to deal with people who are trying to help you but end up controlling instead. They need to know how you feel about what is going on......that is very important.

Debbie

[DocClyde]

It is surely like everyone else has said. There have been instances of people doing stuff and then having it be too much for them. Of course, I am sure it is not the same situation for you, and just wait till they see how well you are doing, and all the classes you are taking. LOL.

Best of luck, keep it going!

[Estee1]

I told one of my, what do I call her....(many mental health counsellors),that I was going to be doing some extra new work and she didn't seem too keen. i am still going to have a go though and if it's too much for me I'll just be honest and talk about it. It kind of made me feel good when she said this though, because I felt like she wasn't putting heaps of pressure on me. I used to think that they would be forcing me back into fulltime work, but they are not. It's such a relief. It's a full time job just looking after myself at the moment.
I'm sure you will be fine at college. At least you know that if things do start getting rough that you will have people there who will help you.
Estee

[desirae]

I think everybody handles college differently. For some people it's impossible, for some it is very difficult, then there's those freaking lucky ones who study an hour before a test, and pass with flying colors.

Maybe college was,for the people who are concerned for you, very difficult and extremly stressing. That don't mean it will be the same for you.

I mean I'm sure it will be very difficult....duh. But if you believe you can do it and handle all the work that comes along, then do it. It may improve your mental health. Nobody can tell you what's best for you besides yourself. I encourage you to continue to go to school, since it seems to be satisfactory for you.

Do what's right for you, despite others concerns.

Desirae

[kimthecatlover]

I had my first college class yesterday..I actually brought the wrong textbooks! But I talked to my Disabled Student Services counselor about it..she told me just to tell my instructor that I brought the wrong books, I found out my prealgebra/algebra instructor was a pretty understanding person. Needless to say, that will never happen again....I felt really alone and scared yesterday..I was sitting in the cafeteria and I felt lonely, I knew no-one and was afraid to talk to the other students...My counselor said that almost everyone is like that when they first start college, also that I am not the only one there with mental illness, and not the only fortysomething. I know things DO get better, and that eventually I won't feel out of place, that I will get to know people...My college counselor is pretty cool, she told me I can always come to her with questions, problems, and for support. BTW Atlantic Cape Community College has a gorgeous campus, in a wooded area..very pretty. Which means come spring I can study outside.

[MacD]

kimmie...from one 40 something to another...I know how you feel! I had a sick 5 year old to care for yesterday and the in laws had a crisis...and guess what?...I missed a council meeting at the elementary school and I'M the chairperson....talk about feeling like a flake today! But I'm going to forgive myself eventually....why are we so tough on ourselves?

[kimthecatlover]

I'm having a really hard time with Prealgebra...I could not get the handout done past the first couple of problems...I plan to set up tutoring, they have it at my college..I wonder if my illness might be why I have a hard time with math? And some of the students laughed at me when I had a hard time getting up from my desk because of my size...I just ignored it but I plan to talk to my counselor about how to deal with it..and those people who laughed at me. Other than that, the first week so far has been tiring but uneventful...But I know things do get better, that I'm new at college and college is not like high school...but I love a challenge.

[kimthecatlover]

Composition I was really cool, I have a really cool instructor..and a really cool homework assignment.

Today I could not go to class...I have an ear infection, so I had to see the doctor.