[Harnadel]

My outlook on life was once great - career goals and comfortable lifestyles, but when I graduated High School everything changed...for the worse. My friends all moved on to college and we don't communicate anymore, the job market looks terrible and has left me at my parents with no income, and due to a phobia of driving I rarely leave their home or my room at all.

The last 6 months of my life have consisted of staying in my room most of the time, trying to keep myself busy and pray that a job comes along, to no avail. After being away from others for so long (I live miles from other people) I've begun to get antisocial and people have begun to dub me "the hermit" due to my closed lifestyle. People have begun to become distant from me, and the only thing I seem to be comfortable with anymore is staying in my little abode. Even a recent relationship didn't work out - when placed in a new environment with her I panicked and retreated to my home, compelled by an unnamed fear.

With no friends left and hardly any contact with the outside world anymore, I'm beginning to see how isolated and (in a way) repulsive I am to others. All I know anymore is the confines of my 14x16 room that I am unwilling to leave...

Am I just antisocial because of my predicament, or is something very wrong with me?

[Perna]

Hi, Harnadel, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

I think you should list your wants and work on them; I am sure you know a job cannot come along in your room and I cannot imagine how you keep yourself busy in such a small space? Figure out some chores or other activities that will get you out of the house; go to the library every few days to do some job searching, offer to do some of the grocery shopping for your parents or learn to cook a little and make a meal for you all once a week or something?

Yes, you are getting antisocial due to "habit" and it is not a good habit to get into! You have to work at moving out (of your room, your head, etc. into the world) or you will get in a really bad predicament (been there, done that :-) as moving "in" can only go so far?

Make a list and a plan of what you would like for yourself; if you want friends, figure out how to meet people (they aren't coming to your room either), if you want a job, volunteer and network that way, people know people who know people, etc.; look for elderly relatives and neighbors to help with chores, if nothing else; they have sons and grandsons, talking to other people is more likely to find you a job or worth-while activities than anything else, especially online activities. Yes, you can do stuff online but online cannot do stuff in person!