[gma45]

My Christmas eve sucked started by locking myself out of the house. I had to break a window come to find out a 400.00 window Merry Humbug to me! I had made some handmade gifts that turned out really nice at least there was some thought put into it. I feel the people around me did not do the same I need out of here. Son-in-law still owes me money for last year and Daughter over spent last year so I received some smelly perfume that I never wear maybe that's a hint? and of course the 2 year old made out like a bandit! I just felt there was no thought put into it at all on their part. I even made some hand made ornaments that turned out wonderful. And I was the one not in the mood. They spent x-mas eve and the day before driving around the state picking up other gifts for themselves. I really just feel lost in the not feeling of the holidays!

[jitters]

I'm a thoughtful gift giver (and put a lot of time and effort into selecting the perfect gift), so it confounds me, and hurts a bit, when others don't seem to make any effort at all. I blame our increasingly disconnected society...people are getting more and more self-absorbed, I think. (And by "people", I mean a great number of people, not *everyone*. I don't mean to throw a blanket generalization over the issue.)

[Perna]

Gifts don't have "conditions". We give them to the other and they can do what they want with them. Presumably we give them the gift because we want them to have that gift from us.

If you like making something, I think some of the joy in making that something would be a lot of what one would "get" from making it. I choose unique gifts for others and sometimes they work and sometimes they bomb and sometimes something else entirely is going on so they're ignored. But I get a lot of my pre-Christmas interest in the choosing; in seeing some item and thinking of "that" person to give it to?

We can't predict what other people are going to think of our thoughts and ideas. Often though I think I inadvertently imagine this person's response, the one I want (which has nothing at all to do with the actual person) and get a glow from that and then, when the reality doesn't match my imagining, I get hurt. Staying as close to what I am thinking, feeling, and doing rather than trying to guess other people's agendas and feelings helps me enjoy myself and my life instead of putting it out there where others might not agree with my vision.

[lizardlady]

I see both sides of what everyone has said. I too put a lot of thought in what I get for people. I try to pick something that I think that individual will like. I admit to being disappointed if they don't like the gift, but that's on me not the other person.

I made a lot of the gifts I gave this year. Perna, you are right. I got pleasure in making the gifts. I put thought into what I thought that person would like and made it. I hope they like what I made, but if they don't I still got pleasure out of its creation. I'll also confess that in the past when I made a gift for someone who made desparaging comments about the gift ("you made something because you're too cheap to buy something") I never gave that person a handmade gift again.