[Chicaboo2]

As the title states my friends daughter is very reserved always seems to be in another world very vacant and of recent she constantly seems obsessed with the fear that either her leg or head is going to fall of an often will just look at her hands an say to her mother mummy have I got stitches in my hands? Also she has been known to touch her friend who is also 5 in private places and once left herself sore down below from trying to insert things into her private area she seems consumed by these thoughts an is constantly asking her mummy if these things are going to happen to her? I just wondered if anyone has had this problem with there child before kr has any ideas what it could be? Is it the start of a mental health issue? Or will she grow out of it? Is it a sign of abuse? Please help x

[unaluna]

What does she know about boys? it sounds like she was told her "part" fell off.

[FooZe]

For some reason that reminds me of symptoms I used to have when I was that age. Mine were completely different from hers: I kept feeling as if I wasn't breathing deeply enough, and regularly taking a noticeable extra-deep breath. I certainly couldn't have tied that to any definite cause then, and probably couldn't now, but when I think back to those days, I obviously felt frustrated a lot. Some examples:

-- Except for a few babies, most of the other kids in the area were a little older and more daring than me. There was fun stuff they were able to do, like climbing into the loft of a nearby barn, that was too dangerous for me. I often felt left out.

-- From where we lived, we could see an interesting-looking landmark on a hill maybe a mile away. We decided we wanted go look at it up close but we couldn't seem to find the way there. Whenever we'd set out down some promising-looking road, it would end on private property where there was a grouchy dog ready to confront us.

-- For some reason my mother used to mention stuff that I might have liked to play with, if only we had it. It seemed that either we'd never had any of these items, or they were locked up in a storage shed with a pile of wood in front of the door. I tried a few times to clear away the wood but some of it was in the form of logs too big for me to move. Later the official family explanation for my odd breathing patterns was that I must've strained something while struggling with the log, and that I should be more careful.

I remember sometimes combining bits and pieces of these scenes into a dream -- for instance, that the other kids had gone to explore the landmark, they'd gotten into a bad situation, and now the whole landmark was going to fall off the hill with them in it.

Later, as my situation changed (I lived in a different area, knew different kids, started school, etc.), I remember showing entirely different symptoms. I was easily startled, hated loud noises like train whistles, hated being in the dark, and feared that some sharp object would jump up off the table and poke me in the eye. I'd guess that I was reacting to entirely different stuff then than I had been at age 5.

When I reconstruct my age-5 situation now, it seems as if my parents must've been feeling frustrated at stuff that was going on for them, having trouble coping with it, passing some of it along to me, and not liking feedback from me about what they weren't handling gracefully for themselves. Easier to blame the kid and the log.

My sense is that your friend's daughter has something pressing on her the same way I did, that she can't find words for or that wouldn't be real safe to talk about if she did. She wasn't necessarily abused, though I don't know how likely or unlikely it is that she has been at some point. I think what would help her the most is someone she could talk to or otherwise express herself to, who's not stuck in the same situation and isn't threatened by it. In the beginning that could be anyone willing to listen, though at some point a trained professional might be even more helpful.

Odd.With regard to the limb issue...it actually seems to me...(although I am fully aware that many who do not believe in reincarnation will dismiss my post) that perhaps she has got some awareness into her past life.idk what else would have contributed to any shade of a notion that would give a child her age the concept ,or even the actual thought of her limbs falling off,other than psychosis.I mean when have you ever heard of a child pondering such a seemingly outlandish idea (outlandish with respect to a 5 year olds supposed life experience outside of say... a movie)....where would this originate?To be clear....I do have a son with schizophrenia,and have pondered the notion that he simply has no filter between his self and 'the other side';ie,the invisible (to the naked eye) aspect of existence,....and thus other life imprints.However....I do realize just how much this falls into a realm that could be considered magical thinking.I am;however a numerologist,and do not take issue with the concept of....past lives.This is where my thinking originates.

However.....this sexual insertion of objects seems quite disconcerting and points to either a serious mental illness,an abusive experience,distorted thinking,or exposure to visual or audio of something sparking the topic ?And if we are to dismiss the notion of 'past life' which,trust me....doesn't sound (to the general population as something to even consider) then,one seriously has to include much darker reasoning for this be it,abuse or mental distortion...both frightening in ref to a 5 year old?Dear Lord.

At age 5....what ever the cause...this latter issue regarding her privates,begs:" Please help me." to the adults in her life.If I were her mother,I would be on a mission to find out what the hell was the origin of this....and be treading VERY carefully not to allow professionals insert their own 'reasons' in her head.....nor let her in on my disturbance with 'the issue' as it could be potentially more destructive than constructive,to show the level of my concern,after all....what the heck do I know? (Just thanking God atm,that I HAVE no daughters....cause I'd feel as though my responsibility would be akin to handling a nuclear warhead).She is a sponge ,and a delicate one at that.I border on ....gee would I simply try to distract her from such a pattern of thinking? But,if it persisted beyond that I would be internally terrified....externally....gently inquisitive...in trying to hear her voicing where this originates from.

That's my 2 cents. But,I am just a human lol.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Chicaboo2

As the title states my friends daughter is very reserved always seems to be in another world very vacant and of recent she constantly seems obsessed with the fear that either her leg or head is going to fall of an often will just look at her hands an say to her mother mummy have I got stitches in my hands? Also she has been known to touch her friend who is also 5 in private places and once left herself sore down below from trying to insert things into her private area she seems consumed by these thoughts an is constantly asking her mummy if these things are going to happen to her? I just wondered if anyone has had this problem with there child before kr has any ideas what it could be? Is it the start of a mental health issue? Or will she grow out of it? Is it a sign of abuse? Please help x

Around here (New York, United States of america) children do ask about limbs falling off. it usually relates to school discussions about disabled children that may be going to their schools, and also relates to tv shows, movies and commercials that have actors and actresses playing rolls where a character is or has become disabled, and also a war was gonig on since 9-11 where some children have been exposed to knowing someone who has known someone in the war that has lost their limbs. children are also very smart and inquizative if they know someone who has broken a bone and they wnder if the casting is holding that broken arm or other broken bones on.. its perfectly natural for these kinds of questions to come up for children around here, that have been exposed to all they are in this time they are being raised (war times, disabled no longer segragated to special classrooms.... )

the sexual and touching - for some children its perfectly normal and natural thing for others it is a sign of abuse.

my suggestion take the child in tot he family medical doctor and have the doctor examine and talk with the child. doctors know how to talk to children about these things in ways that will get information from the child and not be accused of filling the child with fear and false issues.