[Fuzzybear]

How much do you agree with this statement: "Until you like yourself, how can you expect other people to like you?"

Take care,
Fuzzy

[hey_hey]

Hey Fuzzy,

Good topic. Have things to say but now running short of time. Will get back later.

How are you doing? Had many thoughts on you...

Hugs for you again (((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))

Best,
Toni

[i] What our mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve.

[PlanningtoLive]

Hmmm, how about "until you know and like yourself,............."?

I don't know who or what I am. I know what image I portray, which everyone likes and admires esp at work. I image alot of people put up images or masks for other people.

:::::::::thinking::::::::::::::

Mary Alice

[heatherm]

{{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}

I do agree with this statement.....but yet I do feel that it is more important for me to like myself than it is for others to like me. It is almost like "who cares what others think"...I am the one who is responsible for my happiness and actions not anyone else.

Expecting others to like me puts more of a higher standard on me....what is important to me is that my children, my bf, and my closest friends love me for who I am warts and all.

I used to be the type that worried what others thought of me and then one day the light bulb went off...who really cares what they think? Am I comfortable with who I am or am I trying to please others? Liking myself is more important than looking for approval from others.

You really do bring up such great thought provoking questions. {{{{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}}}


Heather

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on."
~~Robert Frost

[Serenity]

"Until you like yourself, how can you expect other people to like you?"

Interesting question......
I wonder how many people will ever "completely" like themselves? Sure,..there are things we may like "about" ourselves. But to completely like yourself? That sound slike a toughie. Although Some of us like more things than others of us.
I would also change the word "expect" in the common known phrase to "want". I would never "expect" someone to like me...but I may "want" it.
As for the general idea of the phrase.....it's probably really easy...like Mary ALice pointed out.....seldom do people we meet ever act "truly" themselves. They have images they portray and ways they act in different environments. So many times , I'd have to say in my own opinion.....we adapt to the person and the situation to encourage them responding favorably. we are probably only our true selves when we are alone.
Just my 2.

[SeptemberMorn]

I agree with that statement, Fuzzy. I think that if you don't like yourself, you treat others like you treat yourself, which sometimes can get pretty hateful. You can only be nice to a hateful person for so long. Then there's people that won't accept a compliment, which in basis, is a positive statement about them. How often can you stand to be called a liar?

I'm gonna ask you a question now. How do you feel about the statement "Fake it till you make it"?

He's making a list and checking it twice...

[SeptemberMorn]

Serenity... I'm not sure that it's healthy to completely like yourself... I mean, every aspect of one's self? That would be false pride or conceitedness, wouldn't it?

As far as "expecting" a certain kind of treatment, I think we all have those expectations... either good or bad. If our self esteem is really poor, we expect people to not like us so we expect them to ignore us at the very least, while all the time wanting it to be different.

If we expect a certain kind of treatment, we believe that we are worthy of it already. If we want that same treatment and aren't getting it, then wouldn't we look inward and see what about us promotes that bad treatment? Our next logical move would be to change that about ourselves that gives us trouble. Am I making sense? I hope so!



He's making a list and checking it twice...

[yokus]

I really liked the question. I believe that you can't "expect" people to do anything. It's when we come crashing down the hardest after "expecting" someone to live up to what we think is the right behavior or response. Only to be disappointed in them and ourselves when that doesn't happen. I don't "expect" that I will ever completely like myself. It's always a "work in progress" and it's ever changing and sometimes rewarding to know that even though I don't like myself, I can accept myself. I can also accept the fact that there are people who won't like me. As long as I know that I am striving towards something better, that I am evolving into a different person every day. That I am reaching out towards growth and understanding instead of staying stuck and inflexible means that I will reach a goal of accepting myself even if I never truly like who or what I am. Anyway, I guess that I just don't expect much from other people . In my opinion , that is just setting yourself up for disappointment. I say "yeah, it would be nice if they liked me", but if they don't I'll survive.

[valbends]

i disagree because we may be good people but not like ourselves, but if we are good people we deserve to be liked...sometimes it helps us to like ourselves.

Through each others weaknesses we find comfort.

[valbends]

forget my last post...i read everyones replies and like some of them better

Through each others weaknesses we find comfort.

[Rapunzel]

Oh Fuzzybear, you ask some really great questions. Never stop, okay? Just the other day I was thinking about you and your questions, and wondering if you would post another one soon.

I think that the key word in this question is "expect." If you don't like yourself, you probably don't expect to be liked, deep down anyway. But that doesn't mean that people won't like you, or that you won't be hurt if they don't like you. Also, it probably isn't black and white - even if we generally dislike ourselves, chances are that there is still something about us that we do like, and if we do generally like ourselves, there can still be room to recognize the need for improvement. Feedback from other peolple regarding whether or not they like is affects our ability to like ourselves. Also, others may be able to sense whether or not we like ourselves and respond to us accordingly.

I'm not sure if that all came out as any more than a bunch of gibberish, but there it is.

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>

[SeptemberMorn]

Wendy, I understood every word! Made perfect sense to me, too. You always make such good points.

He's making a list and checking it twice...

[LadyDragus]

Well I have had this statement in my life, ever since I had an eating disorder..

if you do not like yourlsef, you can not love yourlsef, and this can cause porblems in all of your life.
I think we all have to have some sort of accpetnce about "us" and if we have all negetive thougts then that is not good.
now not all thoughts about ourselves are postive, but liking yourslef, you need to at least try to do that..

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>