[capricorn57]

I have had social anxiety since my teens and even from early childhood have found it very difficult to make friends. I have chronic problems with social interaction.I have difficulty making small talk/initiating conversations/knowing what to say in certain situations.
I spend about 165/168 hours of the week alone if i see my befriender(i don't count going to the shops) and about 158/168 on the rare weeks if i see a family member as well. I was going to a breakfast club last Friday of every month but have been told i can't attend it because of non payment(forgot) and non participation which got me dismissed from the services.
Seems that going to breakfast club wasn't seen as participation but because i didn't do other groups(one because my social anxiety was bad and another because it meant making my way back alone from unfamiliar places) i can't go to breakfast club or seek their help at a future date should i need it. That is very contradictory.

I emailed my link person at Rethink and she said it was a 'massive achievement' that i went to the breakfast club but still it wasn't enough for the higher ups there.

Got email saying that if i re-referred they are putting a mentoring service in place and they could support me to attend a particular group i may have an interest in. That's all well and fine but surely they could have asked whether i was having any difficulties before they dismissed me?
I am scared of re-referring as my situation will not have changed and i am scared of being dismissed/rejected again.
I attended one group thinking it was going to be a walking group but it turned out to be going to places on public transport.
All was fine getting there with Rethink staff but when it came to getting home it was to be on my own steam. When i pointed out i had difficulty getting to and from unfamiliar places(I have poor sense of direction and get increasingly panicky and even hysterical if i get lost) i was told rather unsympathetically and curtly by one of the staff that they expect people to be well enough to do so. The truth is that my difficulty with unfamiliar places even if quite local, ie not too far from where i live ,isn't something just confined to when i am non anxious/depressed/psychotic or whatever but a very real chronic problem for me.
In the end the other staff member agreed as a one off to go with me but after that i was too anxious/scared to attend again for fear of getting lost trying to get back home.
They sure as hell didn't help to make sure i could attend then.

Several of the groups,even if my social anxiety was under control, i couldn't entertain precisely because it involved venues that were hard for me to get to and from because of my poor sense of direction.

The breakfast group which is held on the last Friday of every month was the only thing that could manage to attend and even then, as my link person acknowledged, it was a monumental achievement for me to do so because of my severe social anxiety and chronic social interaction difficulties.

I did consider the men's group at the library although i have some anxiety/paranoia about doing groups at the library after doing an art and lit group there via the local mh centre several years ago. I was ok when the group was small but found it very hard when the group got much
bigger. Being seated close together round a table amongst a lot of people and making eye contact when so close together was very hard and stressful.
In the end i didn't go because someone had said the group involved going fishing from time to time and i am not interested or very good at doing things like that due to relatively poor manual skills.

Now as a result of my difficulties i can't even access advice and information from Rethink locally because being allowed to do is not dependent on need but whether one is able to do their groups.

Effectively this means that those who previously could have got local help but like me have problems with groups are now in a position where we are denied the chance of local help .
I am sure that there are many even mentally worse off than i am who are being excluded from help by Rethink because of this, which seems a travesty of what a mental health charity should be doing.

As well as being dismissed from their services and not being able to go to breakfast group i am for all intents and purposes going to lose my befriender as he will be moving with his girlfriend when she starts a uni course in Sussex.
He says he will pop back to area as girlfriend's mother lives locally but i think he will not have much time to see me-which is understandable.

Sometimes i wonder whether i have Aspergic traits without being fully Aspergic.

Poor visuo-spatial skills compared to verbal skills, poor sense of direction and poor drawing skills, amongst other things, alternatively suggests nonverbal learning disorder .
I also have problems with organisation and planning especially with multi step tasks which also goes with the disorder.

http://www.currentps....P_Article3.pdf
http://en.wikipedia.....rning_disorder

It doesn't help that i am fairly articulate and intelligent and so i think they are sceptical that i can have difficulties/problems of the nature that i do.
I think i would only be seen as needing more help if i was homicidal/suicidal/substance abuser/or self harmer or was like a Ricky Gervais cliché of someone with a social/learning disability.

I guess i have a social disability or am i being too presumptuous ?

I am 55 and have lived with these problems, that severely curtail/restrict my occupational and social functioning, since my pre teens.
Over that time i have been called awkward/demanding/attention seeking/lazy/troublesome etc .

For the most part i have given up expecting help/support/and understanding but a small part of me still likes to metaphorically tilt at windmills.

[IceCreamKid]

Hello and welcome. What a shame you were not able to take better advantage of the outings. I have a poor sense of direction and I no longer feel comfortable driving at night so I go out much less often than I did when I was younger. Too bad they don't have a buddy system at Rethink. I think you are right to keep trying.

[madisgram]

this article may offer you support-

Support Networks to Help with Anxiety

In recognition of people’s need for support networks, the ADAA has installed a chatroom on its website where people with different anxiety disorders can meet. One participant, who I’ll call Tyrone, has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. He cannot leave the house without checking everything—the stove, the taps, the lights—several times over before going out. Tyrone takes no pleasure in this ritual behavior; all it provides is temporary relief from feeling anxious.
Psych Central also hosts its own anxiety support group for people with any type of anxiety concern — whether it be generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, phobias, or something else. The site also hosts separate support groups for PTSD as well as for obsessive-compulsive disorder. All of these support groups and chat rooms are available free and can be accessed anonymously.
“Being member of the ADAA has helped me enormously,” says Tyrone, who joined the site’s chatroom out of desperation. “My anxiety is sometimes so acute, I can’t leave the house for days. I was isolated, and I was hurting mentally and physically…. A few individuals [in the chatroom] were friendly and helpful. Eventually I learned that I wasn’t the only one, that my symptoms were common.”

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/tak...n-your-life/4/