my history

once i was talent and hard working student. i applied for finland to make my higher study. my report and document was all ok but i dont know why i was rejected,my marks was also good and that depressed me for a while but again i applied for singapore but my parents dint allowed even though i had a scohalrship..which deressed me a lot..soon after i recovred i left my study and got a training in mobile hardware and software engineering and opened my own institute with attached workshop..meanwhile i fall in love with girl it went for a year i had a sexual relationship with her,but after a year she left me and got married with someone else..again i was such a depressed that i could hardly retrive.it took about 6 months for me to recover.after that i made an aim to start my study again with a thought that i will be top in college and upgrade myself to be a reknowned scientist..i left my country nepal and came to india i joined the medical science and started to study..at starting i struggled a lot only thinking about my aim but i cud not stop my thinking about my past,,when i start to think about my past i forget everything and think if i could go back and verify the mistakes and grab the opportunity i left..i completed my first year with 70% marks and now i am in second year..my exam is about to start from 29th of this month and the problem is i cant concentrate for what i am here. i mean to say that it feels like pressure and i am feared to accomplish my tasks.i dont know how to handle and overcome from this sort of problem,please help me...

Are you still obsessing about your past? You must realize that was is gone is GONE. There is nothing you can do to change it. It's over! It sounds like you're depressed, and depression is "anger turned inward." Are you angry at yourself because of what happened in the past? Could that be possible? There's no point in being angry, because there's not a thing you can change. You can only change the future.

And right now your future depends on your EXAMS -- so you'll need to focus on your studies -- NOT on the past!

You may need some counseling to help you put the past to rest. Perhaps a counselor at school could help you. Every school has a counselor -- you might talk to him/her about this. I'm sure he'd be happy to talk to you.

I wish you well. Best of luck in your studies. I pray you do well! Keep us posted on how you do, ok? Take care. Hugs, Lee

i know that i wont be able to change my past,,i need to struggle for my future..but i cant convey myself..thnk you very much for giving me an idea for counselling,,i will talk to the counsellor of my college but it would be helpful for me if any one cud diverse me online...