I don't really know what's happening? Help?

Okay, so I have been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder. I've rather recently started struggling with extreme hypochondria, which is what brought me to this site to begin with earlier this year. Lately, though, I've been experiencing something that I can't quite identify and it's really disruptive to my life and overall functionality when it does happen. I'm not sure what it is, and the closest I can come up with is depersonalization or derealization.

Basically, and this always happens after a really bad depressive spell or a panic attack, I get this feeling that something is just "wrong." I suddenly feel really far away and like I'm not really there. I feel like I'm a machine and all of my actions are completely mechanical, so to speak. Now, these aren't delusions and I know that I'm not really a machine, but that's sort of what the feeling is like. It's scary because I feel like I'm not in control, and I'm just watching myself and responding to some outside command. I feel like I'm just doing things because that's what I'm supposed to do, and that's it. If I'm hungry, I'll make something to eat, but not because I want to. . . Because I'm supposed to. I feel like I'm not in control at these times. Even worse is the "visual" effect that it has on me. I'll look at my arms or my legs and they'll be smaller or longer than I remember them being. When I look in a mirror, I'll see something terrible and bloated and ugly (this can sometimes send me into another panic), and all I can think is, "That's not what I really look like. That isn't me." It's like my perception changes. . . And I don't understand it.

I would be more concerned about it if it didn't always happen after a really deep depression or panic attack (it never happens out of nowhere), and lasted for longer than a few hours. Luckily, it doesn't last long. It's just really startling and I don't really understand it. I was hoping that maybe someone else would know what was going on with me. Any ideas?

It sounds like depersonalization to me.

The positive part is that these events aren't occurring daily, or non-stop. Just in case, epilepsy is to be ruled out as a possible cause. This is because the depersonalization symptoms are very similar to partial seizures.

See a doctor for proper diagnosis and treatment.

Best wishes to you!

If it's a short experience maybe it's your brain juggling itself back to normal after an extreme event? Very simplistic view I know but I don't have the knowledge others here might. Maybe it's normal is all I'm saying. If it started lasting longer before subsiding I'd start requestioning it. Shezbut does have the right answer. Get a proper medical opinion if it's becoming too disturbing.

any ideas? yes loads of ideas....body dysmorphic disorder, lack of sleep, lack of good nutrician, hypochondria, depression, anxiety, hallucinations.....

basically this can be any mental disorder and it can be any medical problem and it could be...welll I could tell you what it could be until you are tired of hearing all the terms and diagnosis that carry the same symptoms that you wrote about, or you could google them and get millions on top of trillions of ideas of things this could be...

or you could ask your treatment providers what this is, did you? if so what did they say these problems are?

there are all kinds of people from all walks of life here on psych central so asking for ideas is only going to confuse you more because this person is going to say its this and that one is going to say its that and on and on and on, soon you will have so many different labels this could be, so much so that unless you are your treatment providers you are not going to uncover exactly what this is..

we can tell you what these things were called in ourselves..like these same symptoms in me were called an eating disorder, hallucinations, panic attacks depression, bipolar disorder, sleep deprivation and many many more things...

the best thing you can do for yourself is not try to diagnose yourself or paint yourself into a corner trying to figure this out, the best thing to do is talk with your treatment providers and they can do tests and evaluations with you that will tell you what these things are in you.

I would concentrate on the events with clearer edges and that cause more trouble. If it is a "feeling" that goes away each time, feelings do that; good ones and bad and the weird ones. Focusing on things is what sets them. Keep your mind on current, real things instead of the bizarre little symptoms and, for me, things get back to "normal" faster.