A foundation?

What do you think is the most important foundation for a good relationship or friendship, respect, love or trust? Any elaboration would be most welcome!

Always questioning,
Fuzzy

I think that the first thing that I need is trust. I have such major trust issues, anyway If I feel that I cannot trust someone, than the rest is just bs. After all, how can there be respect without trust? I guess that you can love someone and not trust them at the same time, but I find that to be very difficult for me. Just my opinion....

{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}

I think trust and respect go hand in hand....that to me is the foundation of any relationship. You can always have friends but the true friends are those that you respect and trust.

Love is the building that is based on that foundation.


Heather

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on."
~~Robert Frost

I'm with Heather; trust and respect go hand in hand. They are definitely the foundation to any relationship, but there are so many variables.

My daughter once told me that I had to earn her respect. Excuse me?!?!? However, I didn't go off like a skyrocket like she was doing. At that particular time, I was just letting her vent, trying to get a handle for how she was feeling and thinking, but it did get me thinking then and I'm still thinking about it.

I think everyone comes with their own measure of trust and respect that they are entitled to. The way I live my life, I trust and respect others until they do something to loose that trust and respect. With some people, it takes a whole lot to loose it and then there's some that loose it immediately.

It goes both ways. I feel that I am entitled to trust and respect until I do something to loose it. From my side of the issue, it's only fair that I give the person that did something to violate the trust a second and sometimes a third chance. Then there's my hubby. He never asks for another chance, but I always give it to him. Maybe it's the measure of love that I have for him. Some people would say that he doesn't deserve my love. Tell my heart that!

In the past seven years that my daughter hasn't spoken to me, there have been times I wanted to push her down and tell her to "Shut up and listen!" I would have proceeded to ream her a new one in no uncertain terms. If she got in my face again today, I'd simply walk away from her. If, by some strange miracle we were to patch things up, I certainly would never trust her again... even if she got the medical help she needs. Sad to say, my daughter, my firstborn, the one I considered my Springtime Rose and I will never have a relationship again. I don't trust her, she doesn't respect me.

As for hubby and me? We've always had a very unstable, rocky relationship, but such as he is, I'm gonna keep him. Go figure!



"For unto us a Son is given..."

love is most important. love conquers all.

<font color=purple> Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth. Jean-Paul Sartre </font color=purple>

Fuzzy, I've thought about this one, but I have trouble separating the three. The more I think, the more it seems like you can't have just one of those three things. For instance, I can't respect someone I don't trust. And I look back at relationships, and it seems like if the respect was lost, the love went away with it.

Gee, I guess my answer ends up being no answer at all...but I think the best foundation for a good relationship involves all three elements.

mj

my question would be... does trust come from respect, or does respect come from trust?

"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..."
~Gustav Havel - existentialist

Respect. But not the way you think. For a good relationship you must respect YOURSELF first. If you know who YOU are, and can live with yourself, by yourself, and not NEED anyone else to survive, then you are ready for a relationship with someone else... and best with another who has also attained that level of understanding. In one sense , all humans need others. They should add to our lives... add to OUR lives... not be them. And, in return for our knowing ourself, we can best give to others... without them zapping all our energy, and without our exhausting them of theirs. Just a thought.

SkyBdark, that is definitely an important component in any relationship, but I still find that many people don't even understand what respect for another is.

Again, I stand by my original statement. Everyone comes with their own right to respect... until they lose it by some action or actions. To me, that is a social skill and very basic. If that skill is lacking, then there isn't much hope of having any meaningful relationships.