I wanted to bring up something that I noticed in chat lately. I am not criticizing anyone, I am just wondering why people do this and hopefully we can shed some light on this.

Sometimes when I am in chat I notice that there is at least one person who will be in the room, but for whatever reason they may have, they don't speak. This is fine, since sometimes people may just be hurting or feeling lonely and they want to feel they are not alone. Also there could be new members who don't feel comfortable opening up to a group of strangers and may just be getting a feel for the room. I understand this completely, since it is the same as a real live meeting in which a person may "pass" on talking until they feel more comfortable.

Sometimes when I or another member try to encourage the person not speaking to share how they are feeling, we are met with silence or the person will put up an angry face or sad face.(avators).This is fine also, I realize people have different ways of communicating and it may be harder for some than it is for others. The thing that gets me? Well, here's an example. I will ask the person what is wrong. There will be silence. Another person will ask them what is wrong, more silence or an angry/sad face.So chat goes on, and this person is still not speaking, so I ask them how they are doing and that we have not forgotten they are there with us, and I get an angry response back saying "Yes you have", and "Nevermind". It makes me feel frustrated and makes me wonder why this person is in the room for so long if they are only going to get upset at others for showing concern for them. I just don't get it, are they looking for attention, or looking for an argument? Because yes, they will get my attention but I refuse to take the bait if they are looking for an argument, that is not what I am there for.

I just want to state the fact that chat is a place where we go to share experiences and feelings, and we also have a lot of fun in chat. Things aren't always serious, sometimes we are just in there as a healthy distraction and to check in with friends and see what's new. If anyone ever comes in and they have the attitude that they don't feel that they are a part of the conversation and they are needing to talk about a more serious nature, all they have to do is go to support chat and someone will surely follow them to talk to them. I know if I see someone going into support I will naturally want to see if I can help.I am writing this post because I want these "silent" people to know that we do care, and we are not ignoring you, but communication goes both ways. If you have something you feel that upset about, pm one of us or just go to support chat, and someone will be there to listen. Well, that's about all I have to say. Thanks for reading this.

Sujin

[oksomaybeimnuts]

[Sabrina]

I wish I could chat ... especially tonight - when I am so lonely and would like nothing more than company.

Chat, technically, despite plenty good advice, just will not work for me!

[Fuzzybear]

definetly good posting sujin..

I always feel badly when that happens, because I wish I could help more but can't seem to find a way to help..

Sometimes I go into chat and just want to hang out and not be alone, but don't really want to chat

What I usually do in that case is say something to that effect can be as simple as "hey guys, don't think Im ignoring you but I kind of just want to sit quietly with you guys and listen"

or even a simple " I dont really feel like talking right now" will do

And yes, as soon as someone goes into support chat, I typically follow as well to make sure that person is ok.

Another thing is, as far as I am concerned, if ANYONE is in chat with me and is upset or anything, by all means say something right in the channel. Again, it can be something as simple as "Hi guys, Im feeling rotten".

With newcomers it can be hard to get a feel for the room. Whenever there is someone new in the room that I have never seen before, I usally try to ask them how they are or something Good icebreakers for newcomers can be anything from asking the room how they collectively are, to just saying hello!

doesn't this come under a similiar thread that went on in depression?

isn't everyone's illness different? expectations of how someone can act in chat is a bit unrealistic? isn't that what was said in the other thread? just wondering if that whole thing has been forgotten?

some peoplel can't do chat but they may be lonely enough that they want to try to participate. how that be upsetting? they aren't asking you for anything. they're just there.

even if a reply is short or whatever, remember every illness is different. this site is not going to conform to what every person here wants. period.

not so much expectations but suggestions as to how it might better help everyone

[Christina86]

I'm sorry if I'm a bit off and not talkative at times... Sometimes I just want to be in chat just to "listen" to other people's conversations and not to be alone.

to all of those I meet in chat, you're all great people.

Thank you Rainbowzz, that's all I meant by posting this.

Love,
Sujin

[cherybery]

Hey Sujin! I enjoyed talking with you the other night in the chatroom! As a newbie thank you for making me feel welcome!!