[Misskeet]

I've always been a bit odd. But now that I look closely, I think there is something wrong with me. I don't know what.

I used to sleepwalk when I was a kid. My parents would think I had to go to the bathroom, but I'd just sit on the toilet freaking out because I was having a dream I hated.
That dream was that same each time. I can remember it clearly. I was with my imaginary friend, at that time called Tatoo, picking up sticks. The dream was very high contrast, like very black and very white. We were supposed to bring the sticks to the brain, which was a brain sitting inside a foot high black container. When I put the sticks in there, the brain would get messed up from the sticks and my teeth would grind horribly. I run away. There are suddenly other people running away and panicking, too. I make it to a hill in the ocean and watch an oddly coloured sunset before waking up in the bathroom, my parents trying to calm me down.

My old bed or pillow made me hallucinate. One night I saw beds crawling all over it. I'd turn on the light, there was nothing. Turn it off, huge swarm of spiders rippling across my bed. Another time I saw two flies circling my bed over and over. It made me go crazy and I couldn't sleep.

I think all my dolls hate me. I had tons of dolls I never played with as a kid. And porcelain dolls. I put socks over all their faces so they wouldn't look at me. I got rid of my baby dolls because I felt them staring at me from the closet at night.

I sometimes think everyone was trying to kidnap me. I thought my brother would rape me or kill me when I was younger. I was obsessed with my stuffed animal called Bee because it was a force field. Then I thought I had powers. If I focused, my hands would tingle and I'd feel a ball in each of them. Whenever I played softball on a team, I'd stand in the outfeild using the powers to "help" win the game.

As for nowadays, I still have things like this that go on. I hallucinate colours and shapes in the darkness and see worm shapes on my eyes all the time. I'll shamefully admit I still have an imaginary friend, now called Wednesday. Sometimes I argue with him in my head, sometimes it's as if he is simply my own thoughts. I still feel like people are trying to kill/kidnap/rape me and some of them read my mind, especially strangers. I still can feel powers in my hands when I like. I try to convince myself it's not real, but it feels so real, esp. when I'm scared.

Anyone else out there like me?

[Perna]

Hi, Misskeet, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). Did you tell your parents about how you perceive things or your doctor? I don't know if something is wrong or not, I've had my share of imaginary friends (but they were named "Kathy" and "Michael", nothing as creative as "Wednesday"). I found a good therapist for my anxiety and now don't have that or want/need imaginary friends, etc. You might have a physical or sleep disorder that you see things, I'd ask your doctor if you have one or your parents if you still live at home.

[anon61514]

Not traceable so far back, but I have some odd... feelings every now and then. I feel like I can make animals be quiet/run away/fly away by 'jolting them' with my mind (mainly when I was younger, but the idea is still their in my mind, just not the ability).

Does it ever get in the way of your daily functioning, or is it just your imagination overlapping with your surroundings every now and then?

Thanks for sharing your story very interesting to consider!