Does anyone here fear being ‘found out’?

Sep 07, 2012 at 09:04 PM

Might seem like an odd question.

I’ve been debating whether or not to link two important webpages to my PC account - my personal Tumblr blog and my Flickr Pro account - since others here seem to know me well and I chat with several users here a lot. Both of these websites are important to me and I work hard on making them.

But at the same time I am always concerned (not necessarily about these two links being on PC but for other reasons as well) of being ‘found out’ from someone I know IRL; it would be unimaginably horrible for me if an individual like my sister or others that can make my life a living hell read what I wrote on here. She’d ruin my life if she found out about the abuse stories I’ve written here

.

What do you think? Do you ever fear being found out? Advice?

Sep 07, 2012 at 09:15 PM

Hi Mr. V

I think this is an interesting topic - personally i would exercise caution with what you allow people to see on the internet, if your family members use tumblr and you link your account there to the one you have here i think thats pretty risky. Especially as you say you've written stuff about them on here which you aren't happy for them to see. I would be wary also if friends of your family members get a hold of information thats personal - you'll be amazed at just how quickly word gets back. I guess you have to ask yourself whether you'd be happy for friends you've met on other sites to read what you write here - personally i don't mind friends seeing what i post on PC as most of them are aware of my difficulties anyway. If you trust your friends on other sites and want to share more about yourself with them then by all means go ahead but personally i think sometimes theres a reason why we're not all just on one big website (not sure if this would even be possible but you get my point

) All the best hun

roads · Sep 07, 2012 at 09:18 PM

Don't do it--there's no going back. This site is here, with our privacy protected for us as much as possible by DocJohn etc., for a very good reason. We can say things here that we can't say anywhere else. That is a huge gift! You gave it to yourself for some reason.

I really urge you to get this more thought, and meantime keep the firewall up.

Sep 07, 2012 at 09:26 PM

yes, want to be a ghost

Open Eyes · Sep 07, 2012 at 09:26 PM

((V)),

I agree with Roadie, you should keep PC separate and private. I feel the same way about my family. It took me a long time to open up about some things here and I would not want my family to see things I wrote, and more so they don't feel hurt because they don't know it all and missed seeing things when they happened to me.

I am sure that you have something wonderful about you that you would like to share, but what you do share with us and we appreciate.

Open Eyes

dailyhealing · Sep 07, 2012 at 09:40 PM

I would agree with others that it's smart to be cautious. If there are people in your life who may use it against you then it is wise to protect yourself. And it sounds like that is the case.

There is something to be said for being open and honest about your illness, it can be very freeing. But you also need to be ready to take that step and you also need to be in a place where you are certain you could not be hurt by the people in your life if they were to find out. I clearly hear you saying that it would not be safe for you if others were to know.

Thanks for sharing this, I find it a very interesting topic... And something I have been grappling with some over the last year. I hope the responses are helpful to you!

Hellion · Sep 07, 2012 at 09:55 PM

Not really...I suppose its more because I don't see what difference it would make, I already feel like I'm in hell can it really get much worse? I was a little worried about it before but I've realised it wouldn't really make things any worse though it probably would not make things better either.

Miswimmy1 · Sep 07, 2012 at 10:02 PM

I am cautious at who I tell, and I make sure I have a legit reason why they should know. Because u can't take it back :/

di meliora · Sep 07, 2012 at 10:45 PM

I am a pariah everywhere. People are unconcerned about what I say or do and I care not at all about what anyone else thinks with the exception of my friends here.

Sep 08, 2012 at 07:11 AM

i do have this fear that while i'm on these forums someone will spy on me or something.

or someone i know will tell someone else that i'm using threm.

you're not on your own in thinking this

lizardlady · Sep 08, 2012 at 04:21 PM

Mr. V, I don't think it an odd question and as you can see from other's responses others have the same concern.

A couple of weeks ago I had a nightmare of major proportions that my co-workers and boss found me at PC. Believe me when I say nightmare, I mean nightmare.

Some may think me paranoid, but I am very protective of my privacy on line. I've had some very bad experiences, including a distrubed individual who had me convinced they knew who I was and where I lived in the "real" world.

Think carefully about whether this is a step you want to take. As others pointed out once done it can not be undone.

Sep 08, 2012 at 04:37 PM

I would not open this part of myself up to anyone who has abused me in the past and would use it to abuse me now ... Please don't undermine your own recovery process like that ...

I'm speaking from my own experience, even though it was a different situation and scenario ... I've come to regret it, and the setback I experienced to my healing and recovery process was like having my family rape, beat and brutalize me all over again ...

Therefore, I STRONGLY advise you to NOT GO THERE ... !!!

,
Pfrog!

-jimi- · Sep 08, 2012 at 04:56 PM

I had my own site (mental health oriented) linked from my Youtube, and a real life friend knowing my YT. When I realized I was EEEP, and I deleted the link at once.

For me, mixing my online life with RL is a big no-no. Some online friends have my phone number and address, and I met someone from online IRL. That is all. My friend could use all my bookmarks and logins when I'm away and she uses my computer, but I realized she's not interested enough to spy on me. Which is nice. Still, would hate being found out by anyone else IRL...

kaliope · Sep 08, 2012 at 04:59 PM

i always worry about being found out. I am open pretty much about my MI to those I know, but I work in the professional community and I often wonder what would happen if people knew I was once committed against my will and hospitalized not once, but twice. There is much i want to write on this site and often do, but then I delete it because I get paranoid that someone will see it and trace it back to me, so I rarely post things I want to talk about and just spend my time in games.

Miswimmy1 · Sep 08, 2012 at 05:15 PM

I am afraid that my t will see what I say here, because she knows that I am an active member on the site :/ I would like to think she has better things to do than see what I do on the Internet but I nvr know

Paprika · Sep 09, 2012 at 12:07 AM

I made the huge, huge mistake of being far too open with someone on a different forum and i'm still living with the consequences of that. Slightly different to being "found out" but having someone stalk me through the internet and ultimately contacting me in real life freaked me out enough that whenever I join a new forum I now resist the urge to add people to anything that could possibly link me to my "real" life.

It's not so much the forum itself, but the things I tend to discuss. I know you shouldn't discuss anything on the internet (or with anyone...) that you want to keep a secret, but I like to pretend that there's at least one bolt hole where I can unleash my thoughts without worrying about the ripples it would cause at work/home.

I agree with those who said think carefully before linking anything connected to your life outside of here. It is a wonderful resource but it cannot be undone so you really have to be prepared and ready for whatever may come from it.

02:33 AM

I would not link your blog and photography websites to PC. You have posted some personal information on this website that may come back to you. The risk is too great and it may even ruin your reputation or hinder employment opportunities. It is easy to search people.

Think of your blog and photography as a profession. You want people to focus on the content, not your personal life. Most people who visit your websites are not interested in knowing about your intimate problems. Unfortunately, the few who are bottom feeders can use the information in a very ill way.

I am starting to realize just how small the online world is. A week ago, I visited another online community that I am a member of and recognized a PC member, not by username (It was different) but by writing style and content. Frequent posters who post information that is similar on multiple websites can easily be identified.

No one out in the real world knows of my PC membership. I want to keep it that way.

CastlesInTheAir · Sep 09, 2012 at 08:06 AM

if someone from real life read most of what I have written....i think I would die....lol I know that not funny but....yo uknow

LostMom3 · Sep 09, 2012 at 09:32 AM

I also worry about my family finding out. My sister would call DFACs and tell them I am not capable of taking care of my son. Or she would try to say I am unfit to care for myself and try to get control of me and my SSI. Others don't believe anything is wrong with me. I am very careful who knows.

monkeysocks · Sep 09, 2012 at 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostMom3

I also worry about my family finding out. My sister would call DFACs and tell them I am not capable of taking care of my son. Or she would try to say I am unfit to care for myself and try to get control of me and my SSI. Others don't believe anything is wrong with me. I am very careful who knows.

Geez. It's horrible how ignorant people are.

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Anonymous327327 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 07, 2012 at 09:26 PM #4 yes, want to be a ghost
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Hellion Grand Magnate Member Since Apr 2010 Location: Colorado Posts: 3,794 14 6 hugs given	Sep 07, 2012 at 09:55 PM #7 Not really...I suppose its more because I don't see what difference it would make, I already feel like I'm in hell can it really get much worse? I was a little worried about it before but I've realised it wouldn't really make things any worse though it probably would not make things better either.
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Miswimmy1 ~ wingin' it ~ Member Since Aug 2012 Location: USA Posts: 3,791 11 922 hugs given	Sep 07, 2012 at 10:02 PM #8 I am cautious at who I tell, and I make sure I have a legit reason why they should know. Because u can't take it back :/ __________________ Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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di meliora Account Suspended Member Since Nov 2011 Posts: 4,038 12	Sep 07, 2012 at 10:45 PM #9 I am a pariah everywhere. People are unconcerned about what I say or do and I care not at all about what anyone else thinks with the exception of my friends here.
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Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 08, 2012 at 07:11 AM #10 i do have this fear that while i'm on these forums someone will spy on me or something. or someone i know will tell someone else that i'm using threm. you're not on your own in thinking this
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Miswimmy1 ~ wingin' it ~ Member Since Aug 2012 Location: USA Posts: 3,791 11 922 hugs given	Sep 08, 2012 at 05:15 PM #15 I am afraid that my t will see what I say here, because she knows that I am an active member on the site :/ I would like to think she has better things to do than see what I do on the Internet but I nvr know __________________ Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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CastlesInTheAir Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2012 Location: Oregon, USA Posts: 3,387 12 244 hugs given	Sep 09, 2012 at 08:06 AM #18 if someone from real life read most of what I have written....i think I would die....lol I know that not funny but....yo uknow __________________ Invictus it matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. William Ernest Henley
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