[mojave_rose8]

I know a man, and something is clearly off about him, but I am honestly not sure if he is delusional or just a pathological liar.

He tells fantastic stories about himself that are CLEARLY untrue – such as, he attended an Ivy League college, that his father was a famous artist, and that he was raised in a foreign country. These stories tend to vary widely each time he tells them: different ages, different places, different degrees. It is almost as if he doesn’t make an effort to keep anything consistent. He even tells different stories about seemingly minor things, like how many dogs he owns.

Something definitely seems off about him. He is extremely scatterbrained and his thinking often appears disorganized. He has trouble staying on topic during a conversation and sometimes seems oblivious to his surroundings. Sometimes he just seems absent-minded, but I have heard him make comments about not knowing what is going on around him or never feeling “normal” – although he doesn’t define “normal”.

But – he could also be a pathological liar. His lies, although they vary widely, always seem to follow a similar pattern and retain some universals. He tells them very convincingly. When confronted about his lies, he becomes flustered and then just states them again. For some reason he changed the spelling of his first name. He seems to have the uncanny ability to make people feel good about themselves, too, and he seems very interested in other people. (Although I will add he doesn’t appear glib or superficially charming in any way.)

So – not to diagnose of course, but just based on that info: Do you think he is delusional and really believes his lies, or do you think he is extremely cunning and successfully manipulates everyone around him? Or none of the above?

Hi mojave rose8 - i could be confusing you with someone else but i recall you posting a similar thread like this before and the details are similar except the person you are now talking about is a man. Firstly i would ask yourself why it matters whether this person is either one way or another - if you're convinced they are a liar and you therefore distrust them then why maintain contact? This person clearly isn't going to change - at least not until they get help - so you need to decide whether its something that is worth pursuing an interest in. To answer the question at the bottom of your post, i doubt he believes the lies - how could he if he keeps changing them? Also i doubt a successful manipulator would constantly change the lies they tell, people would eventually realise regardless of whether they choose to say anything about it. Im sure you're not the first person to pick up on his behaviour so if its someone who you've not much choice but to be around (i.e. at work) then i would perhaps take it up with HR - otherwise i would focus on maintaining the friendships/contacts you are happy with. All the best.