[pegasus]

Writing this on my phone so I hope it makes sense. Can't put paragraphs in either, sorry. Have you ever done a thread to make people hate you? Occasionally I admit that I have. I've purposely done a thread in the past to make people hate me so that I could tell myself, 'yeah see, I told you so. I knew I was unloveable and unlikeable. Come and abuse me!' I haven't done a thread like that for a long time. Has anybody else?

[lynn P.]

((pegasus)) - haven't done that but can see how someone would sabotage themselves like that. I'm sure you'll get some who've done that. Have lost some friends though from some of my opinions. Sorry you have a part that's out to get ya.

[pegasus]

Thanks Lynn.

[Perna]

Is a stab-me-in-the-back party like a pity party? If you won't do the work to believe you are cared about how come I have to do the work so you can believe you are not, better? You can believe what you want; doesn't make it "true", whether or not you think I or anyone else has stabbed you. So, why not just believe you have been stabbed and not bother with the other people? Other people just get in the way Love you, Peg

[pegasus]

Ah no, not a pity party to prove I'm wrong, a party to prove I'm right. Come and hate me as much as I hate myself. Show me how yucky and disgusting I am, I must be right if I can get all of PC to agree with me. At the time I was totally aware of the hatred that would be onslaughted on to me, after all that's what I was used to as a child...

[sabby]

Wouldn't that be a self fulfilling prophecy? Now mind you, that can be used for positive as well as negative.

(((((((((( pegs ))))))))))) Did you or do you now believe that you are not lovable or worthy and feel like you deserved all the negative things in life? Did you or do you feel like you are like a fish out of water if you don't receive the negative feedback that you feel you deserve?

Remember, we most often are our own worst enemies when it comes to believing the worst about ourselves. Why not give ourselves the benefit of the doubt like we do for others? Would we then be considered selfish? Not at all. Although I have difficulties with that kind of thinking about myself as well. I can say I have worked on it a lot over the years and I'm better at treating myself more fairly than I used to be.

I'm really glad you haven't done a thread like that in a long time. Progress! You ARE worthy of positive things and people in your life. And I don't care what you think.....I will always consider you a dear friend and I luv ya!

[pegasus]

Oh I love you too! I have come along way. I haven't done a stab me in the back thread for a long time but momentarily thought about it today. Gotta keep moving forward...

[sabby]

I'm glad you are moving forward hon. It's the only thing that will get us to our destination right? I'm very proud of you for being able to validate yourself and realize what you have done in the past and trying to change it for the better now and in the future. You ROCK my friend!

....never really gave it thought....until now...hmmmmmmmm

....don't feel like I gotta start a thread for people to hate me .....all's I gotta do is reply........haha

[pegasus]

Aww... Sparrowstail! Not true!

[seeker1950]

Hey, Pegasus!
I've always appreciated your posts here. I find the things you say to be insightful and uplifting.

I do identify with what you've described. When in peaceful relationships...I'm talking romantic relationships...if things were peaceful, I used to create conflict. I realize now that this was due to my upbringing, which was never happy, and never had good role models for relationships.

It's good to realize our patterns.
Patty

[pegasus]

Thanks Patty.

Im not sure if ive interpreted the post correctly but surely if you set out to make others think you're 'bad' doesn't that prove you aren't like that naturally? If you're aware of how you will make others react could that suggest you want others to hate you simply because you feel this is what you deserve? It may now count for much but i don't think you deserve to be treated this way - from what ive seen you're clearly a respected member - your opinions and insight are held in high regard and much appreciated I hope you feel better in yourself

Hello Pegasus...you were one of the first folks I spoke to after signing up. Thanks to you for your friendliness and willingness to help. I don't get around much here but for the same few forum areas but i'd like to shout out a hello and a cyber hug. Thanks Pegasus...hugs and smiles again!

[pegasus]

Hugs back!

[-jimi-]

No. People dislike me enough if I'm just being me.

[jelly-bean]

I've never thought of doing that. I'm glad that you are moving away from that sort of thing too. If we don't like ourselves nobody else will either. I think you're great and I hope that you will think so too in time.

[Contrast]

Lol sounds histrionic to me to do that.

But no, I wouldn't have the intentions of doing it.
I'm far too likeable and I like that.

[whatbeanbelieved]

Sometimes it's easier to be disliked than liked, hated than loved - because being liked and being loved have all that "hope" attached to it, and with the acceptance of that hope and love, there is pain -- because you no longer have your anger (at being disliked or hated) or amusement or whatever your reaction is to being disliked/hated, to hide behind... you know? I mean, it's easier to deal with anger than it is to deal with pain and actual sadness.

I have never started a thread for the purpose, but I do it plenty in real life, where I sabotage myself by messing things up deliberately... but usually this happens in extreme circumstances when I am hurting but not able to focus on the hurt, because it's overwhelming. So, for example, I broke a bottle of freshly made mustard sauce when my father was yelling at me. I wanted, in retrospect, to be heard - but this obviously didn't accomplish it. What it did do was to get him to NOTICE me.

Sometimes it's about wanting unconditional love - you know? Like putting my worst forward so people who actually care can stay with me, and therefore prove that I am lovable. Of course, anger is not easy to love. And also I realised this robs me of the actual experience of love, because to me love is proof of not being unloved, you know? So I don't really feel the love as much as I feel the proof.

Is it like that for you?

Hugs and love to you.

EDIT: Sorry about the babble. I just had a lot to say and I think I've babbled all over the damn place...

[Mossberg500]

I guess i don't get doing something to a bunch of strangers that i don't know to get them mad at me,Its not like your gong to to watch them get mad. more likes they will just go on doen the road and find something new to look at.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by whatbeanbelieved

Sometimes it's easier to be disliked than liked, hated than loved - because being liked and being loved have all that "hope" attached to it, and with the acceptance of that hope and love, there is pain -- because you no longer have your anger (at being disliked or hated) or amusement or whatever your reaction is to being disliked/hated, to hide behind... you know? I mean, it's easier to deal with anger than it is to deal with pain and actual sadness.

I have never started a thread for the purpose, but I do it plenty in real life, where I sabotage myself by messing things up deliberately... but usually this happens in extreme circumstances when I am hurting but not able to focus on the hurt, because it's overwhelming. So, for example, I broke a bottle of freshly made mustard sauce when my father was yelling at me. I wanted, in retrospect, to be heard - but this obviously didn't accomplish it. What it did do was to get him to NOTICE me.

Sometimes it's about wanting unconditional love - you know? Like putting my worst forward so people who actually care can stay with me, and therefore prove that I am lovable. Of course, anger is not easy to love. And also I realised this robs me of the actual experience of love, because to me love is proof of not being unloved, you know? So I don't really feel the love as much as I feel the proof.

Is it like that for you?

Hugs and love to you.

EDIT: Sorry about the babble. I just had a lot to say and I think I've babbled all over the damn place...

Yep! You got it! :

[whatbeanbelieved]

((((((Pegasus))))))