[sukothefox]

Hello everyone...
Right now I am particularly thoughtful about a family member of mine, a cousin I grew up with during my childhood and part of my adolescence.
I dont know if he developed an antisocial personality disorder, or if he is a case of conduct disorder, but here I go.
Ever since I remember, my cousin, Arthur, has always had a hobby of picking on others or engaging in vandalism. He is older than me for two years, and when I was a small kid, he used to bury some of my toys on the yard, and he would do the same to my other cousins. He liked to bother them a lot and hit them. I remember he liked to put a pillow over the face of my female cousin, and lay on top of her to suffocate her. He didnt have any intention of killing her, as far as I know, but he enjoyed it, and liked hearing her cry. He got yelled at by her dad, and ever since then he developed this grudge against him.
My grandma was always on his side, and always tried to defend him or forgive all his mischief. He lived with my grandma because he grew up without his parents. They abandoned him because they were on drugs and my grandparents decided to take care of him, to adopt him. My grandpa tried to discipline him, but my grandma always defended him calling him : "my poor little arthur..". Whenever we went shopping together with my grandma, he would ALWAYS ask for a toy, and not just any toy, the most expensive one, or a video game. If my grandma said no, he would try to manipulate her saying that he didnt love her anymore. in the end she would buy it to him. That always happened, and he also liked to get me into trouble. When I grew up to 10, I remember we went to the family ranch to have a barbeque, and when I came he was already there. He started telling me how my other cousin, Manuel, was talking on my back, saying bad stuff about me. Of course, I was innocent (still am) and I believed him and got into fights with Manuel, and I could see how Arthur enjoyed seeing us fight or argue. There were times when Manuel would have me on the floor and I would see Arthur doing nothing but smiling or looking away.

Those were some of the things he did as a kid. As he grew into teenagehood, things got more complicated. He started not asking for simple toys, he asked for greater quantities of money, and would use the same manipulative tactics against her to get money. By that time, my grandpa wasnt in this world anymore, and he lived alone with my grandma. Arthur always got bad grades, and had a lot of problems with the kids at school. I remember he would insist to me to go to my aunt house with him to do some vandalism, and I would go with him to see, but I was always weary, and he would tell me how I was a coward or sissy. in the end I would go. and after he did his stuff, or I, because it was so tempting, we would leave running and he would blame it all on me.
He was also addicted to computer games, and that caused him to be expelled from two high schools, because he would fail the first year. It got to the point that I graduated and he was barely finishing after being put in a special school. He started stealing money from my grandma, and also her car keys to go and see his friends and throw things at people who passed around, or push people while passing with the car. I remember he told me how he lowered the car window to push this man that was on a bicycle and how he fell to the river. He really enjoyed doing stuff like that.
It came to the point where he decided not to go to college, and he stole a very big significant quantity of money from my grandma's bank, and my family decided to send him to a rehab.
While on the rehab, I was told, he wouldnt admit he stole the money, he blamed my uncle, and invented this story about how he wanted to steal the ranch and blah blah, and no one believed him, and by that time, I didnt either. As time passed, he seemed to be changing, and they didnt find any evidence of drug consumption. The people from the rehab said how he was changing and that he admitted he stole the money, and that he forgave his father for having abandoned him. They started giving him more priviliges on the rehab community, until one day, my aunt, the one who was vandalized constantly, decided to take him out to eat. Thats when he escaped...
He escaped. All that change he was showing was a con. he coned all the family. he went to my grandma for money and leaved to another city, and still denies he stole the money.

Sorry for the length of this... but this is just part of the story, I wonder if he just has a behavioral problem or if he definitively has antisocial personality disorder. He would also think of himself as superior and that everyone was a bunch of idiots who he could deceive. He has never believed he can be punished, and he believes he can get everything by cheating

[krisakira]

Sounds like he wasn't properly disciplined.

[Leed]

Personally, I don't think he has any mental disorder. I think he should have had a whack upside the backend a few times. He was SPOILED ROTTEN, and was not disciplined properly. He doesn't even know what the word discipline means.

I'm afraid he's going to end up in prison SOON. And THAT'S where he will learn about discipline. He'll surely get it there! If the guards don't beat it in him, the inmates will. He's a sad case. It's too bad his grandmother did this to him. She might have meant well, but she created a demon.

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi,
Look up "Narcissistic Personality Disorder."

[sukothefox]

i was thinking more about antisocial personality disorder... or conduct disorder. there is a antisocial narcissistic subtype though.. thanks very much

Suko,

Now this is just plain mean to all of us with a personality disorder!
I'm going to go with spoiled, in this case.

Rotten,
-Fleeing Bellocq, Muse of the Mission District

[also_depr]

He seems to have difficulties creating normal, non-abusive, relationships to people. This is really sad and I don't what could bring him back to a normal pattern of behavior.

If he goes to prison, which seems possible, given his behavior, he might come out even more aggressive.

[here today]

Originally Posted by also_depr

He seems to have difficulties creating normal, non-abusive, relationships to people. This is really sad and I don't what could bring him back to a normal pattern of behavior.

I don't think the current prison or mental health systems know either. Sadly for lots of people and for society in general.

Seems to me that "personality disorder" and "spoiled" may describe essentially the same situation?

[MoonWalker247]

I wish the best for him. I will not give a diagnosis, but, I see how it would be hard for him to be disciplined correctly. Maybe the behavior is in his genes. Or, maybe hes feeling emotional inside and he has to take it out on others. All bullies do. And he might feel that hes not good enough to have a real job or anything because he doesnt feel like he deserves love. Then again Im not diagnosing. I wish the best for him and the family.

[DenisDonnacha]

Obviously none of us can give a real diagnosis, and can only guess but I have to agree with also depr, this all sounds like someone who can't form healthy relationships with others, Arthur sounds like he only forms relationships with people where he can get pleasure from abusing them or where he can gain financially. It could definitely be something that stemmed from always getting his way as a child/teen.
I hope he can make a recovery and the family can move on.