[moonfrost]

Hi,

To cut a long story short-I believe I'm in love with James Holmes. The man who killed 12 people in Aurora, Colorado on July 20th last year.

A friend is very "puzzled" as to why I would be attracted to james holmes?

I just.happen to think he's very handsome! I thought.I'd get over it but no.

Should I be.concerned about having such an attraction?

[seeker1950]

Well, yes, of course you should be concerned, though I do commend you for posting your question here.
Many women seem to be drawn to these mass murderers, corresponding with them, going to meet them, even marrying them.
It would be helpful for you to talk to a professional about this...a counselor or psychiatrist. Don't go down that road for any reason.

[KUREHA]

Well he is kind of hot -so I get that.

I don't know if you should be concerned, is it like infatuation?

I find him completely pathetic because he seems to want to be some sort of criminal mastermind but he's really just another loser with a gun.

[-jimi-]

Just IMO a therapist would overanalyze the attraction. I mean you don't know Holmes, you have seen his pictures and maybe some short videos. Your mind filled in the blanks. I doubt you have a crush on Holmes himself, I think you used his quite good looks and having a crush on what you project on him. Like a fantasy.

People get freaked out by fantasies. But as long as you don't actively want to do anything I think you should be left alone. I've done the most horrific things in my mind only, and the heck I'm going to talk to a therapist about it!

[joshuas-mommy]

Who is James Holmes? Why is he a killer? Is he some old person in a book or it is some dude in prison?

[-jimi-]

He is a mass murderer and he is real, he is quite young and the crime happened quite recently.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by moonfrost

I just.happen to think he's very handsome!

That's not love, or even infatuation, that appears to me to be not very mature social skills. I would look for a therapist and work on learning more about yourself, others, and day-to-day communication and social skills. If you think you are in love with someone you don't know, have never even met but just think is handsome, you need to spend more time learning to focus on the world around you instead of living just inside your own head.

[notz]

Should I be.concerned about having such an attraction?

You must have some concern since you posted it in "Other Mental Health Discussions".

[Lauru]

Ummmm, he's handsome?? I kinda thought he was pretty homely actually.

[whenwillitend]

i can see no beauty in someone who slaughters innocent children, women, and men. one of the ladies who was shot was pregnant. she is now paralyzed, she lost the baby, and her six year old daughter was shot and killed.
i don't think there is anything handsome about a "person" who does something like that out of fun.
all i see in those pictures is the devil's face.

[Tenrou]

I think that attraction and love are distinct from each other, initially. I don't presume to know how you feel, but without a measure of knowing the other person - as a friend or otherwise - in my experience, the feeling of infatuation or physical attraction or chemistry can be mistaken for love. I don't think there's anything wrong with being attracted to a person's looks, no matter who or what they are - appearances don't contribute to their personality. In your situation I would examine my motives, and see whether it's his appearance or something else that is drawing me to him. I have an enormous crush on a celebrity, but when I looked at what I was admiring, it was his talent and his appearance that attracted me, and his struggles with substance abuse that I identified with, and even just with that there is a whole spectrum of feelings and motives to wade through.

I wouldn't worry about a simple physical attractionif it were me in your situation, to be honest. But if it's any deeper than that, or if you're obsessing over him, I would at least seek an outside, unbiased opinion that would help me take a look at what was going on in my head.

Best of luck.

[Yoda]

If you are serious you need some intense therapy but I suspect you are trolling PC.

[Lauru]

Can I just say an evil, twisted fu**?

Originally Posted by Yoda

If you are serious you need some intense therapy but I suspect you are trolling PC.

This.
.....

[Puffyprue]

To be able to shared this story it must be hard for the poster andi think we all here have our have own issues its sad that some people being so judgmental

I read your other post, if its bothering you so much i think you should talk to your therapist about this, and it much more better to talk to your therapist than sharing it in open forum like this coz not all people understand what you going through

People forgetting that the mans mental health is a factor here? Damn the bastard not. We all @#$!#! know the horror...but wake the hell up. IT...You. Wake up. Pathetic??? ********e. Don't effing denigrate here. Piss me #$@$!! off....jesus-h. Grip it buddy. Mental health is no sunny vision for some folks. Get off the ##@$!! podium.

...Yeah.

[Lauru]

Maybe it's odd, but I draw the line at killing people. There is a difference between mentally ill and evil. Hitler = evil. Holmes = evil. Me = mentally ill. You = mentally ill. If I am biased on this, I really don't care. But that's just me.

[whenwillitend]

i'm with lauru. mental illness is way overused as a copout. "oh, i have a mental illness, i'm not responsible for my actions, i can go on a killing spree, and some people actually have sympathy for me". sorry, no.
for one, i'm not too sure the guy has a mental illness. for two,he clearly knows right from wrong. for three, there is absolutly no reason in this world that makes it okay to go around killing people like that.

call me judgmental, i don't care. in my book, killing is NOT okay, no matter what excuse they come up with. and i have especially zero sympathy for anyone who hurts or kills children.

that whole "ooh, it's okay, he has a mental illness and didn't know what he was doing" bs that everyone is so quick to bring up when something like that happens is exactly the reason why we can't get rid of the stigma. because of stuff like this the general population thinks everyone with a mental illness is a homicidal maniac and can not be trusted. yeah, thanks.

he knew what he was doing was wrong. he had his getaway car ready and everything. and that's all i need to know. he knew. if he had voices telling him to kill (or whatever, just an example), he still knew that it was wrong obviously, so he should have taken a trip to the nearest ER or talk to his therapist. What he did was a choice, not something caused by mental illness.

[Puffyprue]

Originally Posted by Lauru

Maybe it's odd, but I draw the line at killing people. There is a difference between mentally ill and evil. Hitler = evil. Holmes = evil. Me = mentally ill. You = mentally ill. If I am biased on this, I really don't care. But that's just me.

Sad....
Theres no such thing as evil ... but thats just me .

Originally Posted by Silentlycrying

Sad....
Theres no such thing as evil ... but thats just me .

Yes, that is your belief, but it is not everyone's belief.

[Puffyprue]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Yes, that is your belief, but it is not everyone's belief.

Like i said Thats just me and i never ask anyone to follow my belief

Oh i like this ... But again thats just me !!!

[allimsaying]

Thanks for this thread! It has brought to the surface an inner conflict I have struggled with somewhat. On the one hand I agree with silentlycryings post of loving all. Only in loving all can we hope to receive the lowest return of hateful, revengeful violence. In a world where all are loved, maybe James Holmes would never have developed. On the other hand, its not a perfect world and if faced with an Aurora shooting situation the killer needs to be stopped in the quickest, most certain way. While it is sad that even one life is lost, the choice has to be for the protection of several versus the protection of one. I wish for (and consciously work towards) a world where our children are taught the value of life, including their own. If James Holmes had acquired this understanding early on and received re-enforcement through his life, then it is possible Aurora (Newtown, etc) might never have happened.

So my conclusion is love all, protect all, educate all. It would help I think if our culture did not romanticize death so much. jmho.

> I just.happen to think he's very handsome! I thought.I'd get over it but no.

Should I be.concerned about having such an attraction?

Its certainly ok to examine it. It sounds like you have separated his personality/what he has done away from his physical attractiveness and find his attractiveness is strong enough to overcome what you know about his crime. Deep within I think we all want to know we are redeemable.

[Lauru]

Originally Posted by Silentlycrying

Sad....
Theres no such thing as evil ... but thats just me .

We differ greatly then. I have known evil myself personally. I hope you never experience evil and never have to change your viewpoint.