[LiveThroughThis]

Not sure where to start. Jumping in. Left bf house as clutter/hoarding became too much for me and my mental state to hhandle, thereby watering our relationship down to him surrounded by a wall and me knowing his hurt yet unable to forgive the lack of contact. I am living with my grandmother which has been a total blessing for multiple reasons.
My anxiety got to levels a couple months ago I hadn't felt in years. My P-doc tinkered with one of my meds to calm me down... only problem was the severe- but- temporary side effects... nausea, ungodly dizziness, photosensitivey, and lastly muscle weakness. I was told to take it regardless of how bad they got since they won't last.

3 weeks in and no improvement in the side effects, and I hadn't even titrated to the full therapeutic dose. He puts the med back where it was and has me on a new med (he suspected former anxiety med never messed with the continuing muscle weakness). p
Five days or so on new med, seems to be doing well so far. Unfortunately the physical stuff continues. I have muscle weakness up and down my legs if I stand in one place to long I have to brace against a. table or person etc. Picking up a gallon of milk and pouring it takes definite effort. I still get hand tremors if I do alot with hands, often still hard to hold a full drink with one hand.

All of that is semitolerable. The leg stuff is the hardest.. they feel heavy, hard to pick them up sometimes, simple things ppl do when sitting etc I have to think of. Steps are he'll.

I am SICK of relying on others.. at least I can still wipe my own ***. My Party-

[LiveThroughThis]

Sorry phone screwed up.

Anyways my P-doc says none of these side effects are dangerous or long term. Sorry but that's just not comforting when my life has literally been uprooted, I have no job and my relationship is quickly swirling down the drain. To be honest I'm surprised I'm not in a hospital right now or lost touch with reality.

I've got a new therapist and she knows her stuff which is a gift.

It's been equally hard dealing with this with so few friends to rely on. And the list of family members.... anyway.

I simply feel my life is at a long heavy standstill. And I'm not yet 30.

Thanks for listening, suggestions welcomed.