[desirae]

I want to immediately say off hand here NO OFFENSE TO THOSE WHO ARE ONLY CHILDREN. I wanted to post this because with a few hundred conversations my husband and I have had, we have came up with the Only Child Syndrome.

See, we both have noticed there's a huge difference in the behaviors of people who grew up in a home with siblings and with a person that grew up in an only child home. Of course I'm stereotyping a bit, and everybody is different, but from every only child I've ever met, I've noticed they are more likely to be selfish, inconsiderate, and self centered. I believe they are that way because growing up they received so much attention from their parents and never had to share with anybody else.

My Mom was an only child and has these characteristics. I've also noticed an old friend of mine (Kindra) also had the same characteristics. I've known quite a few that acted the same way. But if you look at people that grew up with siblings, they are more accustom to sharing, being unselfish, not having the attention, and being considerate.

That of course is my opinions. What do you guys think?

I guess I have seen some of the stuff you are talking about in only children, but I have also seen a couple that were raised to not be that way. I think it depends a lot on the parenting. ;-)

[desirae]

I agree with that.

Are you thinking of being a mom? Or maybe you are already? I think with your insite, you will be really good at it! :-)
One of the best resent parenting books that I have read, is called something like Einstein Didn't Use Flashcards. It was recommened in my Psych class by a childhood development specialist. (my instructor).

[desirae]

Actually yes, I'm a mom, I have two babies. Thanks a lot for the comment. That book sounds interesting and it actually makes you think. It's not like back in them days there was preschool, and educational cartoons on T.V. All there basically was was books and lots of time to kill.

[Sujin]

Hi Des,

I am an only child, but I don't feel that I am selfish or self centered in any way. I have always had a great deal of compassion for people. When I was a child, I used to give my things away to other kids who I saw had less than I did. My mom used to have to tell me not to give everything I had away, or I probably would have!( I think I get that from my parents though because they have always been very giving people themselves.)

My son is also an only child, and he has never been selfish in any way. He is very compassionate also, and giving of both his heart as well as material things. He was never demanding when he was little either, for example if he saw a toy he wanted in a store, he would tell us he liked it, but he would never demand that it be bought for him. Because of this quality, I have always given him anything I could. I never had a problem with him sharing his things with other kids, either. I have tried to raise him to be independent and loving at the same time, and he is.

I know people who have siblings, and they are very self centered, inconsiderate, and selfish. I could give you examples, but then this post would be really long . In short, I don't think it matters if a person is an only child or not. It depends on the person themselves.

Do I take offense to this post? Well, not personally, but I do hate stereotypes. Hopefully this won't be one of those threads that gets everyone riled up, there has been enough of that going on lately!

Sujin

[desirae]

Your right, I don't want to rile anybody up...and exoticflower was right when she said that the parents determine alot of how the only child would act. Your parents seem to hav taught you well with being considerate, and you passed that on to your son.

Just with the only children I've dealt with personally....it seems as a trend. Of course like I said up there everybodies different.

Please don't be offended, I didn't mean it for anybody specifically.

And if this riles up anybody I'll ask for a lock because MAN the drama has gotten old.....I agree.

[SeptemberMorn]

I'm an only child. Judge for yourself.

[Sujin]

I did think of an example, I will limit it to just one. A friend I knew at one time came from a family of 5. They were a middle class family, but each of these kids were always hoarding food away from the others, as well as material possessions. They were also selfish, and wouldn't share if their life depended on it. I guess they were looking out for themselves, to make sure they each got their share.

Also, I know now why I have such a low tolerance for screaming kids in stores, (and don't even get me started about them in restaurants, lol) it's because I never experienced that type of behavior with my son. My mom says the same thing about me! So see, we're not all bad.

Sujin

[Sujin]

(((((((Septembermorn)))))) You seem like a very giving, loving person. That is my view.

Sujin

[radio_flyer]

agrees with sujin

[Lexicon78]

I think it all depends on the parenting, how the parents are, and also the predisposition of the child.

[desirae]

Absolutly, I agree. I think if the parents have one child and spoil the crap out of them then those cases are more likely to happen.

I had a best friend who was an only child and she was so stingy that one time I asked to borrow a pair of socks (because mine were wet) and she refused, eventually I had to ask her mom!

[h0kie]

My husband is an only child. He tries to understand the relationship I have with my brother (yes, he makes me mad but I'll still defend him to the end), but really doesn't get it. He can't. He doesn't have that kind of bond to relate to in his own family.

He is also the least selfish person I know. To me, it's even more amazing because he is a teacher's kid. I've only met a few teacher's kids that weren't jerks.

It all has to do with the parenting, I believe. Hubby had a lot of pressure put on him as a child to be "perfect" which has caused him some trouble later in life, but he's figuring it out. All in all, I think he's turned out to be a great person and a wonderful man - only child or not.

I've also seen children from multi-child homes in the classroom that are horribly spoiled and self-centered. It's all about the parent and the child's personality.

Depends on how parents actually raise their children. Ex in one family, the older child acts like they're the centre of the world and can away with *anything*; whereas the other child is the 5th wheel on the cart. So, I wouldn't generalise.

[h0kie]

I didn't generalize. I said that it all depends how the parents are. We said the same thing. Great minds think alike afterall.

No no, sorry I was replying to the author not you! Sorry, I just used the quick reply button.

It was just a general comment from my experience.

[h0kie]

lol...gotcha