I am trying to enrol my son who is 8 into a tai chi class in London, he wants to do martial arts, just like me, and his granddad, (on his moms side), and I think this is the best way to teach him, his mom disagrees,

my thinking is most, if not all martial arts, are derivatives of tai chi, so to learn the basic movements without actually hitting anyone, or be hit back, is a good way to learn.

the ex-wife’s thinking is that it will lead to him being more aggressive, yet she has him enrolled in a karate class via the school he attends, also her step-dad who brought her up, represented England in the sport of judo when he was a teenager.

I have tried to explain to her that I can show him some of the basics, I have studied jujitsu and akido for over 20 years now, but my teaching methods are unorthodox and that if he comes to these classes with me he will learn the "correct" way and establish his own style in the future.

so any suggestions on what I should do next?

[Lexicon78]

(((((mellors)))))

I don't have any advice but wanted to wonder out loud...how is karate not agressive??? I mean it's for defense, right???

It sounds like she doesn't want to take your ideas into consideration no matter how "right" or "wrong" they are!

i know lex, i woundered if any one would spot the same thing i did, the karate, last time i saw my son, 2 weeks ago, i was teaching him wingchung/ tai chi, he loved it, true i showed him how to do a kidney punch also, with one of the movements, but thats not the point,

the point is if she is willing for him to learn karake, with a good chance he is gonna get his *** whooped in the first fight, i will still be there by the way, then why cant i try and refine his skills or lack off by showing him the way i would have gone?

[jennie]

typically, aggressive boys or men have unresolved anger that is expressed by acting out through aggression or violence.

martial arts teaches a healthy outlet for pent up energy. if your son has a good teacher and studies long enough, i'm certain your son will become a pacifist and resort to self-defense only if needed. martial arts is successful because they train the strongest muscle, the brain.

[(JD)]

There are two main types of martial arts, offensive and defensive. Seek out the defensive types and not only will you learn HOW to protect yourself and those about you, but you will learn discipline also. Being able to walk away from a fight because you KNOW you can "win it" is priceless, imo.

jennie you get it, i do have skills but i would rather resort to a verbal conversation/ argument than a physical one, either way i win anyway, but thats not the point, with the tai chi i think that it is going to be good for my son on so many levels

[ster]

One thing I have seen is a child gets very bored with Tai Chi. It is slow and takes a long time to learn. I wish you well.

[jennie]

have you considered Judo?

i have planned for that ster, my son is very much like me and gets bored and loses interest easily, thats why i am showing him attack and defence moves via the tai chi movements,

i dont want my son to have to fight his way threw life like i am doing, i want him to have the confidence to go out there and make something of himself, it is confidence i am trying to teach him, not the fighting, thats just there to keep him amused

[Peanuts]

Karate & Tai Chi are both martial arts but are also very different. I think that tai chi is chinese and the movements are smooth and fluid while Karate has sharp movements and more pronounced thrusts and kicks. Plus there are belt advancements - I'm not sure there are belt colors in tai chi ?? I'm not an expert but it seems the two are different enough that it could be confusing for a child to learn both. Perhaps it is better to select one type or style of martial art at a time. ??

If your son proceeds with karate instead of tai chi, I'm sure that he will be able to learn tai chi later on should the opportunity present. You could keep offering to provide tai chi training from time to time in case .. although it sounds like it is very disappointing for you that your preference is not being seriously considered by your X. It seems to me that tai chi is least agression causing of all the martial arts out there and so her comment doesn't make any sense. Besides, I've never heard anything about martial arts CAUSING aggressive behavior but I have heard of martical arts helping a person control and channel aggression.

Perhaps you could get involved with the karate at the school and observe or help out. Maybe you can get tai chi into the class itself and thereby get the training for your son without ruffling any feathers.

Good luck

[ster]

If you can show the martial art in the fighting using tai chi That is great..
part the wild horses mane. oh what style do u do chen or yang.

yes karate and tai chi are dirffering styles of fighting, one is chinese and the other is japaneese, chalk and cheese fighting styles, karate is more set moves, so moves or strikes can be read more easily, tai chi is more of a fluid motion, less predictable, so harder to fight against.

this is not about me wanting one thing for me son and the exwife wanting another, its about her shooting me down everytime i am able to find something that i can, and have done to try and connect with my son, has if its not hard enough already, for example, when i took him rock climbing in a indoor centre with people i had to pay by the hour, who worked there, who could barely climb a ladder unaided, i am at a very good level of climbing, yet i took the "safe" route so she couldnt find fault and stop my visitation, her excuse for that one was it is to dangerous a sport for a 7 year old boy to do, what 7r old boy do you know that doesnt climb up everything they can?

the last one was his birthday last month, i promised him a mini x motor bike so i could teach him to ride a motor bike, she vetoed that also, yet i was the one that didnt/couldnt provide the bike for him, i lose everytime

[Sujin]

Hi Mellors,

I think you are a great father for trying to teach these things to your son. It's a shame that your ex opposes your ideas. I wish I had better advice to give you, but we can't control other people's thoughts and reactions. Maybe if you could talk to her more and point out all of the positives of your son learning these new things? I don't know, I'm sure you have tried that already. It stinks that she is acting this way just to prevent you from being closer to your son. She sounds very insecure, like maybe she's afraid he will become closer with you than he is with her? That's selfish on her part, since learning these things and developing a closer bond with you is very beneficial to your son.

Well, just know that you have my support.

Take care,
Sujin