I don't understand why mental-health support program staff do this?

It seems to me when I talk about my goals with my mental-health staff..they use the terms 'we want for you to be able to...' 'we think you need to....' I wonder sometimes, where am I in this? It's like what I think sometimes doesn't matter, like they have to make me a certain way, make me 'fit in' somehow...Why do they do this? I'm actually afraid to ask them!

What do you think will happen if you ask them?

Try to find the courage to speak up. I know it's hard, but you're paying them and they work for you. You have a right to ask questions. And you have a right to disagree with them, and tell them what you think will work for you.

Wish I knew what was going on, I don't quite understand what your talking about. But I can add that mods deal with a lot of people and they probably aren't able to think of you as individually as we'd wish. But don't let that bring you down, just be loud and up front till they get the point of what your trying to say...okay.

From what you posted, I would say they are rephrasing what your goals are without making it a demand. If you say something like "I should..." they could easily help you by saying, "We want you to be able to..." Could, should, will, won't.. are all very restrictive and sometimes negative. Trying, wanting to be able to... those are less stressful, but can still guide your path.

What do you think?

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Kim, I had a similar situation when I started out with my T many years ago. The thing to do, which is what I did, is to let others know how we feel about their action or inaction. I told my T that when she says that kind of stuff I feel she's being in the parental mode and is expecting me to be the good girl and obey. One time when she was reacting to my narrative of abuse I told her that when she reacts like that I feel she's taking the experience away from me. And that I'd like to own it. Fortunately, she heard me on both counts, and many others, and gave me the space I needed. But if I hadn't communicated my needs she wouldn't know about them.
So take a chance, tell your T how her/his comments make you feel. If T is respectful of your experience and truly hears you, you will feel all the better for having communicated your needs.
I once heard a T say that one of the reasons that has brought us to the point of therapy is our inability/failure to communicate our needs. That's certainly true for me. And to be able to communicate my needs and have them be met with respect and understanding provides the corrective emotional experience that is so therapeutic.
Let us know what happens.
Take good care!

It's like, sometimes they bring up what their concerns are for me, like what I want to do might bring on too much stress, and sometimes they bring up the times in my past when I've screwed up, even though they acknowledge I've gotten better...It's like they think I'm naive or overconfident sometimes...It just seems to me like they're reminding me that I have an illness(like I really need to be reminded) and they don't really trust that I'll talk to someone if I feel stressed out...these are my housing people. I talk to my PACT team when I'm stressed out...why don't my housing staff get it, they communicate with my PACT team monthly.

Perhaps you could explain that to them, just like you did to us??? The housing ppl have certain responsibilities, if it doesn't include what the PACT team does for you, then remind them you are working on that with the PACT team??? TC

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