Just getting it off my chest

Im so overwhelmed these days. The whole leg thing I had going on kinda triggered these anxious feelings. Although I know its not blood clots & Im not worrying about it, I am stressed about everything. The whole situation with my bro in law & his gf is even worse since they moved in right next door. Again. I dont even go outside because that woman gives me a really bad feeling. And I dont want her to see me. She gives me the nastiest looks & it takes every ounce of will that I have to not punch her. My husband isnt working. We have no money. We have to scrimp & save just to pay the light bill. I have no family to hang out with to help my isolation. And my friends do meth & I dont even want to be around that & risk a relapse after 12 years clean. If it were'nt for facebook I literally wouldnt speak to anyone. My pain in my low back & C-spine & arms have gotten unbearable & I cant ask for pain meds without my doc looking at me like a drug addict. So for over 3 years I have been in pain & its progressivly getting worse. Im not able to see my oldest son. I seen him once, breaking the law, in a year and a half. And it makes me sad to see how hes grown. Hes 5'10! Ugh Im so tired of it all. I wish things were different. My birthday is in a week & I just know its going to suck. I just dont care anymore. I dont xare what people think about me. I guess thats a good thing in a way but in a way its not cause I tend to be a b-word.

(((thunderbear)))
you sound really overwhelmed by all that's going on for you. Just reading it sounds like you have so much going on. Its also hard that you have ongoing physical pain too. Perhaps you could come online on your birthday and be with people in the cyber sense that appreciate your company and can give you cyber hugs and birthday wishes and hopefully that will make it a better day. Be kind to you it would be hard to be coping with so much stress.

I think furpal has a great idea. It could be an online party! But it can be a quiet party, if that's what you want.