[Ohlostme]

Might as well put this out to you guys. There are some good minds and sympathetic people out there. Maybe there'll be some good suggestions.

Long story -- I never had to worry about what career to go into. I wanted an acting career from the age of 5. I had one, from 28 to 42. Then it ended (not by my choice). Since then, I've been lost as to what to do, career-wise. At 56, with no money for retirement, no family, no man, no nuthin', that's not a good thing.

For a long time I tried to find what I "should" be doing, but couldn't figure it out. I've tried everything I'm interested in -- photography, graphic design, DJ -- and made some money at them all, but not good money at any of them. ("Good" money being money enough to support myself) I ran out of things to try. Then I thought, I've always been told that writing is what I do best. So I started to try to sell what I'd written, over the decades (just for my own amusement). I thought, if anything sells, I'll take that as a sign that this is what I should be doing with my life. I had an article sell within ten months. So I decided to try writing as a career. (I truly believe this is what I should be doing. I'm not married to it, mind you. I'd do something else in a heartbeat, if it'd pay well)

Since then I've written scripts, books, over 500 poems, newspaper & magazine articles, newsletters, and made a living as a technical writer. While I did sell some of my material (not the scripts, books or poetry, unfortunately - although one script & one poem were optioned), I've had a tough time supporting myself as a tech writer since the dot com crash of '01.

Meanwhile, I'm looking for more control in my life, with regard to making a living. I spent this year and last being unemployed (as a tech writer) for the first 6 months of the year. NOT a good situation considering how much I want to make an out-of-state move. Can't save any money when you're only employed half the time.

For years I've busted my butt sending out queries to publishers, letters to producers and literary agents (I've never had a good agent), sending material in to contests (never won one, but I did get my first literary agent that way), and taking entrepreneurial classes of all kinds, but can't seem to get launched as a screenwriter, novelist, poet, or entrepreneur. At this point, I'd just like to do something that will bring in gangs of money, that I can do from home, so I can live where & how I want. That's the goal, to live where & how I want. (Nothing ostentatious. Just a little house in the exurbs)

Problem -- I'm lost. Confused. Clueless. Brain dead. I know what I want: a house where there are 4 seasons (I'm in California now. I hate it. I was born in Michigan and I miss the change of seasons desperately. I go into a depression every Autumn because I know the leaves are changing back east, and I'm not there to see it). But, the more I focus on it, the less I seem to know what I want to do with myself. (Even if the money suddenly showed up, once I'd bought a house & made an out-of-state move, what would I do with myself? I'd be just as lost there. I'm lost on a very deep, SOUL level...as in, "why am I waking up in the morning?" That's one of the sources of my depression)

While writing (successfully) might be nice (having a "voice"), starting a screenwriting or novelist career is not something I can make happen just because I want it to (no matter how good I am at what I do). I need some business that I can do from anyplace, that will support me. I've been in this "I want my own business" mode since 1994, without being able to decide what kind of business I want. I've started several little (mostly mail order) businesses, but never made more than pocket change on any of them. Can't live on that.

I have a very high IQ, lots of skills/talents, guts, experience, ambition...but can't seem to make up my mind. I'm frozen, that way. (Brain fogged) Dr Phil would say I must be getting a "payoff" for not making a decision. Maybe, but that doesn't jolt the ol' brain and give me some brilliant idea. I'm still lost.

I started a VA website, but didn't advertise it. I dread the idea of doing secretarial from home. I spent decades doing secretarial (between acting jobs) and hating it. Don't have any college degrees, no savings (for start up money), nobody who's agreeing to start a business with me (I've asked 2 or 3 people, but no takers). All of the (Barbara Sher-type) books say "do something you love." I've fried my brain so long on this topic, I'm not even sure what I love any more. Something creative. Something lucrative. Something...I dunno.

So, with no lottery win on the horizon (that I know about) and no rich, ailing uncle set to make me an heiress, that leaves me with the $24,000,000 question -- WHAT DO I DO WITH MYSELF?????

Anyone been there? What'd YOU do?

Thanks.

[(JD)]

Actually, it's the $64,000 question..that might be enough yearly to live on?

I would consider you to be a "scanner." It's a new term being used by a few.. .where you are a jack of all trades, master of none... only you MIGHT be good at all of them! The problem is you don't want to settle on any one item.

Why not look for 1) a job that allows you to do many different things or 2) rotate many different jobs through those seasons you want to experience?

Search out some particular cities you think you'd want to live in and contact the chamber of commerces.. for the city's info... job opportunities, what it costs to live there etc... and make plans accordingly.

How many years do you want to spend on getting to where you can "retire?" What will you give up to do that??? Just some questions...

Good wishes!

[godzilla]

huh?.....I don't understand.

[Bethsway]

Good morning all! Gee..Such a hard task...to tell someone else what they should do with their life...maybe you could write a book on your life...It sounds like it was very interesting...Tell about how you went from being an actor to not knowing what to do....and all the places, people, experiences you had along the way...Wish a catchy title, I think I might buy it...or maybe you could help other people write their biographies...wouldn't that be interesting? Hope you find what you are looking for and go with it...!!

[hillbunnyb]

focus.