[roseblossom]

I find that I'm spending most of the day on my laptop. I'm often trying to understand what's gone wrong and how I can take steps, little by little, to become more able to manage day to day life and ultimately gain employment and have some degree of happiness and financial independence/security.

I also think that I have some kind of attachment thing going on trying to connect with people who understand, and I can relate to.

What I've realised is that I'm avoiding self-care in the day to day things that need to be kept on top of. I keep neglecting that and then spending more time linking up with people.

I find that I'm really conscious of being isolated and by myself and I suppose I'm stressed because there are quite a few issues that I'm trying to resolve without being able to afford therapeutic help - and the sense of isolation drives me back to the internet.

But why am I finding it so hard to want to self-care? Why do I find it so hard to do activities by myself like perhaps something creative or going for a walk in the park?

If its stress - how can I get out of the loop of resolving the stress without being attached to my laptop to speak to people? My mother, who I see every several weeks or so, says she thinks that I need to be able to self-care better and keep well for a couple of years before I will be able to move on and get a job. When I said to her that I find that I keep slipping back because I am on my own so much she said that it's no excuse.

[Junerain]

Can you qualify for medicaid, or a low income government program, that would allow payment for therapy? Therapy, I have found, has turned my life around, I highly recommend it.
Also my support group is a wonderful resource- full of people in the same boat, who truly understand. It's condusive to finding real friends- ones that have your back

Here is a support group locator, type in your zipcode, and you'll find one close to you...

Find a support Group - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

It's the Depression Bipolar Support Alliance..

I care about you PM me, I'd like to develop a friendship...

[Junerain]

Oh, now I see you are in the UK....not sure how to go about finding a support group there...

[Perna]

What we do is ultimately self-care, even if poorly conceived. By being on the Internet so much you are calming your stress and connecting with people and feeling what your brain thinks you should feel.

I just finished a good book, Amazon.com: What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite, David DiSalvo and it has given me a lot of ideas and motivation to do other things than what "feels good".

You have to decide you want something else (to go for a walk, for example) and then do it, no matter how you feel about it or how much you complain, etc. Your frontal lobes, the thinking/decision-making part of your brain can override the instinctive portion of your brain.

I would make a list of what I would like to do, simple things like trying something creative or going for a walk. If you enjoy reading, go to the library and be around people that way. If you are afraid to interact/talk to people, practice on grocery clerks, first in the checkout, and then maybe asking one on the floor where something is located. Clerks are usually friendly and do a "Hi, how are you?" that one can embellish without much trouble, "I'm good, how about you? Do you have many more hours to work?" and they'll tell you when they started work or when their break is or when they get off and you go from there; sympathizing if they have been working/have to work too much longer, asking if they have anything interesting planned for the afternoon/evening if they are getting off in the middle of the day (because they started early), etc. If the weather is bad, you update them on if it is "still" raining, too hot, etc. I got into a detailed conversation that was fun one really hot summer day; the clerk was getting off early, had no air conditioning at her apartment and a poor parakeet but she was going to a friend's where there was air conditioning, and we both decided the parakeet would be okay because it comes from a tropical background, etc. It's a chance to "connect" without risking too much to start with and gets one some practice interacting with others before the "big show"

[Junerain]

I found this in the UK:

Depression Alliance UK | Information About Depression Symptoms & Self Help Groups | Get Support For Depression And Raise Awareness

[roseblossom]

Originally Posted by Junerain

Can you qualify for medicaid, or a low income government program, that would allow payment for therapy? Therapy, I have found, has turned my life around, I highly recommend it.
Also my support group is a wonderful resource- full of people in the same boat, who truly understand. It's condusive to finding real friends- ones that have your back

Here is a support group locator, type in your zipcode, and you'll find one close to you...

Find a support Group - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

It's the Depression Bipolar Support Alliance..

I care about you PM me, I'd like to develop a friendship...

Thanks very much for your reply Junerain and for the invite for me to PM you.

I haven't been able to get very much in the way of therapy, apart from a short term art therapy group which now meets once a month. The local mental health team have told me that there isn't anything else available.

There isn't anything in my area in the way of a support group. I have thought of setting one up maybe in the future - I think at the moment I would find it a bit much and I haven't done anything like that before, so I'm a bit unsure of how it would work.