Losing faith that the mentally ill can live normal lives

I understand that the title may seem insulting, but I don't intend for it to be. I decided to post here today because of my recent struggles and the suicide of a person I know.

I've never been suicidal and I don't understand the desire to end one's life unless they are terminally ill. Despite sadness, I think that life is precious and worth fighting for.

My mother's ex committed suicide this weekend because he didn't feel that he could cope with Bipolar disorder. In December, my mother attempted (I was around to save her, thank God), for struggles with her depression, our estranged relationship, and bereavement over my sister (also mentally ill, accidental overdose). She has been very mentally ill my whole life and every year it increases in severity.

Despite years of therapy and lifestyle changes, I still struggle with anxiety, panic, depression, loneliness, and an unstable self-concept. I have a lot of difficulty in my interpersonal relationships as well. I've been feeling lately like my family, past, mental disorders, and INFJ personality enable an incapability to ever thrive in this world. I feel that maybe I'm just an ill person who will never be stable or happy and who will only get worse. I feel unlucky, damaged, and cursed.

Lately, I just want to give up on being normal and interacting with others. Does anyone feel this way? Other thoughts?

It is very common to feel that way at times - mental health concerns are extremely difficult to live with and manage. There still isn't a perfect cure. Often we are just managing the symptoms the best way we know how.

But it often is possible to have a good life. A life where you can get what you want out of it. It is not easy and it can take a lot of negotiation and compromise with those around you and yourself but it is possible.

Don't give up just yet It is ok to feel vulnerable and feel that way - what you are going through is extremely difficult and there is no perfect fix. But you can still have a life. It may not be the same as the persons next door or what they find normal but it is about finding what makes you happy - what you want to get out of life.

Omg, I didn't realize you were dealing with all that. Now I get what you mean when you were saying, don't I ever get to be just the average kid? My t's mother died from cancer when he was pretty young, and he said all he ever wanted to be was normal, average. I know you already have a t, but I would really recommend finding someone who has been thru similar losses. It really made a difference for me. I forget what your question was, sorry!

very well put mazing! i agree ur life may not be perfect but whos is? some have more difficulty than others but that doesnt mean they cant be happy. everybody goes thru rough spells especially the mentally ill. there were times that i thought i would never be happy or accomplish anything. it took me practically my entire life but its different for everyone. some it take just an hour, others a day, a week, a month, ect. what i find helps me is setting goals. not impossible goals. start out simple and build. i hope u feel better soon.

You have led an extensively stressful time in your life. I am very sorry regarding the death of your sister, as well as losing your mother's S.O this weekend. That is really hard to deal with ~ especially with a bipolar parent!

It's very natural to begin questioning everything in life after experiences such as these! Especially if you're still a "child" or "teenager". Because, in these phases of life, we haven't found ourselves yet. It's very common to question your worth, the meaning of life, and where you're headed in situations like these.

Whether or not you're doomed to a life of misery ~ I certainly HOPE not!! I don't think that you are. I do think that things are going to be tougher for you, than a lot of other people, but I think that you can make it. Regarding your question of normalcy...that's a toughie for me.

I think that we can still live productive lives, mentally and/or physically ill. But we have to push ourselves harder. We have more complaints and general dissatisfaction. We also have more to be proud of ~ for all that we've overcome in our work! That work doesn't stop. It isn't ever "easy", but things do become more manageable at different times in our lives. We aren't doomed to failure!

We need to reach out in the tough times and get help from others sometimes. Imo, professionals are the most helpful. {I have a general mistrust of people, I guess.} They're the ones that I depend upon (as well as several friends that I've made in here actually) when I really can't find the motivation to keep going in life. They get me through to the next bump, and so on. That's just the way that it is. There are some sweet moments of satisfaction and enjoyment though. Some beautiful times that make life more meaningful. And that does help.

to you!

I've often wondered that myself. But then I remember that I personally don't know anyone who has a perfectly "normal" life--mentally ill or not.

what i'm gathering is most people dont try. We have alot of ****ing learning to do. Its not about a magic pill it takes work.

Wow......you've just joined the site, made two posts and have alienated at least one member, which is odd considering your user name contains the word 'bipolar'. Not to say that you're entirely wrong, but your tone is harsh and you make blanket statements without understanding how hard MOST people work at getting better. Makes me wonder if you're really BP, or if you simply live with one who isn't trying.

Anyone that has depression (and a true understanding) would understanding why some people want to commit suicide.

Interesting...a person that truly had BP would be understanding. They would have a better personal understanding of the condition. I guess people use anything in there name, even if its not true.

I gave up on being 'normal' a long time ago, it doesn't mean I don't desire contact with people, but I am afraid to much of the time because of past experiences of people ridiculing me or ostracizing me because I was 'weird'. So yeah I don't see myself having a normal life but I am hoping maybe I can have a life I can somewhat enjoy.

I have attempted suicide and even recently have been struggling with suicidal feelings. Its never really had to do with sadness really, more just feeling hopeless and worthless and being overwhelmed by symptoms and life stress it just gets to the point its so painful I just want it to end. Its not so much wanting to commit suicide as wanting to end the pain and in an unclear state of desperation means of suicide start looking appealing. I hope you never have to deal with that, its not exactly a bad thing you don't understand why someone would want to commit suicide.

Anyways maybe you're life wont be normal, but perhaps it can still be fullfilling in some way or another.

Not necessarily, not everyone with depression reaches the point of being suicidal. It is one of the major concerns with depression but as far as I know there are less severe forms of depression or if its managed correctly early on it simply might never get that bad.

i'm suicidal too

Hellion, I agree completely. I do understand that I've never been to the point to "get it". Its just like how a white person will never completely understand racism, though empathy is possible on both ends.

If one doesn't "get it" why make statements as though they do.
The suicide comment......

You missed the boat. My comment was "directly" related to a suicide comment by someone that doesn't understand but had no problem making
a derogatory comment.

I thought you where talking about the comment in the OP about not understanding why someone would want to end their life. But perhaps you where referring to another post? the one about how most people aren't trying hard enough and something about a magic pill?

Anyways I seem to be 'missing the boat' a lot lately, and its starting to make me pretty self conscious.