My Update

Okay, it has been almost a year since been on this site. There seemed to be a few people that were interested in my progress at that time, so I thought I'd share what's been happening in the meantime. As of February, I did finally leave the relationship that I had been in for about two and a half years. I finally got fed up with the controlling and self - depleting demeanor of the situation. I ended up having to call my mother, with whom I hadn't had any contact with during those years. She actually welcomed me with open arms and was just utterly happy that I had finally released myself. After I moved in with her, I had a hard time with not dealing with the residual feelings from the break up. I had a difficult with Marijuana and alcohol, more specifically problems with it in public. I ended up getting charged with two counts of possession, and a Minor in Possession alcohol within 2 days. I delt with a lot of guilt in the way of my mother because she had allowed me back into her home and I felt as if I had let her down. For about a week, things continued with the drugs and alcohol, and I had quite an extreme night on St. Patrick day. A couple weeks later, after I had told my mom about the charges and she had helped me get clean, I missed a period and soon found out that I'm pregnant. Soon after, I had to spend a week in jail for my charges. I have continued with my mental health treatment, and am still attending DBT every week. I've had to stop taking my medication, though, because of the pregnancy. I have decided to keep the baby, even though I'm not with the father. This, coupled with not having medication, has sent me into another spiral of emotions, though I am in a very different place. Which has brought me back to the comforts of this site. (Feel free to move this if it doesn't belong here, I just wasn't sure because there were so many topics covered.)

Oh boy! This really isn't what you needed at this time. You really didn't need any connection with this man. BUT you cannot take it out on this precious baby. You'll have to think of this beautiful child as a gift from God, and having nothing to do with this man.

You are MUCH better off without him. He was abusive and controlling. You're in a better place with your Mom.

Now you have to work on staying CLEAN especially for your baby's sake! You cannot use now, or else your baby will be born ADDICTED! Have you ever seen a child born addicted? It's HORRIBLE! The poor baby has to go thru withdrawal, and that's painful. So seek help to help you stay clean.

I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you'll stay here and keep posting. We hopefully can help a little. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

((((Lost)))) thank you for coming back and for update. We are still here if / when you need us Rose

Actually, the bad relationship that I was in was with a woman. The baby's father is a guy that I've been friends with for about 6 years. I just can't bring myself to be in a relationship with him. We never argue, and he wants to be there even though we're not together. He is really a good kid. As far as staying clean, I have been ever since I found out about the pregnancy.

Welcome back! Sounds like you have been through quite a bit in the last year. We are here for you if you need us. Glad you are back.

Hello,
Firstly, many congratulations on your wonderful news
Well done also for getting off the cannabis and alcohol, that takes a lot of strength and isn't as easy as it sometimes may sound.
I think it's lovely that you're rebuilding your relationship with your mum, I hope that's going well.
If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I have three children, (hubby and I have five kids between us) two of which are very young at 13 months and just over 2 months. I really struggled in pregnancy because I have mental health problems and it seemed to trigger massive anxiety. I don't know about where you are, but over here in the UK there is something called the perinatal service which your midwife refers you to if you're pregnant or a new mum and are struggling with mh too. Perhaps there's something like that where you are? Anyway, if you do want someone to talk to then feel free to PM me, I know exactly how hard pregnancy and mh can be!
I do hope you can enjoy your pregnancy, it's wonderful feeling them move for the first time

Welcome back to PC. I wasn't active a year ago - I signed up last Feb but didn't become active til this Feb - but I stumbled upon this thread and decided to respond anyway. Congrats on your pregnancy. And also congrats on being such a strong person to deal with all of the stuff you've dealt with. I'm sorry you've had to deal with it at all, but to me the fact that you got through it all, faced it and moved through it is a sign of your strength. I think you'll be a great mother. Hang in there and keep doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and that baby.

Coming off the alcohol wasn't too hard, it was never a problem persay, just that I don't hit 21 until September. I never did drink much. The cannabis was the hard part.
Things with my mom are going well, except the fact that I'm too independent for my own good.
Thank you for the supportive words.

Treat yourself well, eat the right foods and stay away from the pot. I'm sure you know that!!!I am happy you got away from the one guy that controlled you, try not to get involved with controlling people, that's one thing you really don't need,and i'll pray to God it doesn't!!

My husband had a difficult time coming off cannabis. Twice in fact. It never used to be a problem but then he ended up under a lot of stress and soon started using it all day, every day. He quit after I told him it was me and the kids, or the weed. I did this because it was dragging him down and because it was dragging us all down in the end, especially financially. I couldn't even afford to do the shopping. He quit that very day and it was very hard for him, but like yourself, his kids were more important.
Unfortunately a year later after not touching it, we became even more stressed when the previous situation rose its ugly head again and someone offered him some so he gave in. He said it was only going to be occasional but of course it was a slippery slope.
At the time, he was going through court for access to his son, so I told him he had to quit because how did he know his ex wouldn't demand a drugs test and that could be him screwed. Eventually, he gave up and hasn't touched it since.
It's really not easy, especially when life becomes stressful!
You've done very very well