[ocdwifeofsociopath]

When you have work, kids, mental health disorders, family problems, house to take care of, lives to live, etc. At what point is falling down on things just being irresponsible? In other words how much should any other human be able to handle without excuses or crutches? If you are sick, if you are stressed, how many factors can go into falling behind to give you a reasonable allowance for it? When is it lazy?

[Perna]

There is never any guarantee that we can do things well or even at all. Wanting something but not being willing to try to get is is laziness. Saying you will do something but not trying to do it is irresponsible. Taking on more responsibility than you know you can handle is either trying to fool yourself or irresponsible in that you are deliberately trying to take on more than you can handle instead of using what strengths and energy you do have to do what you can, well. It is like the airline instructions to make sure you have the oxygen mask over your own face before trying to assist overs.

We are not all the same. Make sure you are doing what you want to and can do and get assistance or re-evaluate for the other stuff. If other people live in the house, it is not just yours to care for. Kids need to learn to grow up and take responsibility for themselves and there is no law on how you keep your house, I have assistance with that every other week because I am not able to do all the work myself anymore. My advice is to not bother with excuses and I don't know what "crutches" are. It is your life, you get to choose whether to be a busy beaver or a playful otter. Do you care if your bed is made or would you rather get 10 minutes to yourself to read? Those are personal decisions, no one either can decide for you.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

what I meant by crutches was using something like a mental disability as a "crutch" metaphorically speaking. Using a reason as an excuse for more than it should be.

[ARainyDawn]

I have a recommendation from my PCP but I haven't gone to see the psychiatrist yet. I struggle with the same idea though. Instead of some mental health problem, think I might just be a rude, lazy, incompetent person. I feel like I'm just looking for an excuse.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

it's not what I think of me, it's what other people say about me.
the other reason i'm asking is because this is frequently brought up by people with poor mental health having issues like this, but I have never seen any definitive opinions, just reassurance.

[Thorn Bird]

Originally Posted by ocdwifeofsociopath

When you have work, kids, mental health disorders, family problems, house to take care of, lives to live, etc. At what point is falling down on things just being irresponsible? In other words how much should any other human be able to handle without excuses or crutches? If you are sick, if you are stressed, how many factors can go into falling behind to give you a reasonable allowance for it? When is it lazy?

If you are so stressed and with everything you have to do and cope with my personal view is that you need to be kind to yourself and try if you can to prioritise. This is a difficult concept when you have responsibilities. It sounds like you should allow yourself some slack - you are not being lazy and you are not making excuses. Everyone has their own limits, capabilities and degrees of how much they can cope with so try not to compare. Do the essential things and try to make some sort of list or order of what is important and what is not. I have a saying you can only do your best and if you can say to yourself you are doing that - don't think you are lazy - people who are lazy don't care - they wouldn't even ask a question concerning it!