[sinking]

I have been attending several forums during the years and i've always found friends and then lost them.

Is it because in forums for people in crisis, no one is ever stable enough to make friends and stay?

Should i stay away from forums?

But its the only way i get to communicate with people.

am i doomed to be alone forever?

[DocJohn]

I think that, for better or worse, forums reflect real life in some ways... I don't have very many friends I've kept my entire life in RL. I've gained some here and there, and then I lose some here and there.

Forums like ours may be even more challenging, however, because a lot of times people reach out in their time of need and when that time passes (as it does for many), their interest in logging on to the forums regularly fades. Some people stick around but I suspect most people don't, once they have gotten (and given) what they need for themselves.

[Discombobulated]

I’ve certainly found on here people do move on, I’m personally very cautious about becoming attached because of this. Sorry you’ve experienced this too.

[stahrgeyzer]

If I become good friends with someone online we will often exchange email addresses or something. I think it's easier to send email, and if the website goes down then you're still in contact with your friend. If you get extremely close then they can exchange phone numbers for texting. I've also done that.

[sinking]

i meant i lose them due to them (or me) being too needy, broken, depressed, hospitalized or even death (sui attempts).
i tend to forget we cant save each other and usually i get closer right to the ones in more need, to the point that it becomes unsustainable for both.

I think forums are similar to real life, you make some friends and lose friends. Foe example - how many people still are in contact with friends they made in (for example) primary school?

I'm no longer in contact with anyone from school at all, I'm facebook friends with a couple but we dropped off each others radar apart from facebook.

This thread reminds me of when one of those friends and me, when we went into high school, we both promised we'd keep in touch, I wrote letters to her for a bit but she never responded so eventually I gave up and stopped writing to her, cause I figured she had lost interest in the friendship we had.

Other thing is I did lose a online friend from one forum to suicide, sadly. From what I remember of the suicide prevention forum we made friends on, the staff on there were a bunch of bullies and they bullied several members beyond what they could take (I was one of them), I left, but sadly some got driven to suicide cause of the staff there being such bullies. Then the staff there decided to start punishing members claiming it was the members who had caused the suicides - when it was the bullying mods/admins who did that.

I left that forum long ago and will never go back there even if they was to find out my current email address and beg me to go back there.

The other forum I lost touch with everyone (pretty much) offsite, that forum sadly had a major tech error thing go wrong - one day it was up and working fine, the next that forum (ADDForums) was gone. It never came back. Everyone there was wonderful and I will always miss that forum.

[Discombobulated]

Originally Posted by sinking

i meant i lose them due to them (or me) being too needy, broken, depressed, hospitalized or even death (sui attempts).
i tend to forget we cant save each other and usually i get closer right to the ones in more need, to the point that it becomes unsustainable for both.

I’m so very sorry. You sound like a very caring person. This must have hurt a lot.

I just hope the two forums I spend a lot of time on, outside of work hours, won't go the same way as ADDForums

I lost a lot of good friends when that site went down, can still remember the usernames

[eskielover]

I have been here since 2004. Most of the people who were here then are no longer here except for a small handfull who I always enjoy seeing when I come on. Have one person I stay in contact with from here IRL also.

I have gone through from being a total mess to being fully healed in that time frame. This was home when I moved 2100 miles away from where I lived all my life so it is hard not to peek in the forums every so often even now. I have very few friends from where I lived IRL & am very selective about who I still keep in touch with at this point in life after all I went through. Most I consider acquaintances rather than friends. But I am enjoying my new IRL life & have some real friends now in an awesome community in the small town where I live.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by sinking

i meant i lose them due to them (or me) being too needy, broken, depressed, hospitalized or even death (sui attempts).
i tend to forget we cant save each other and usually i get closer right to the ones in more need, to the point that it becomes unsustainable for both.

[TheEbonyEwe]

Originally Posted by sinking

i meant i lose them due to them (or me) being too needy, broken, depressed, hospitalized or even death (sui attempts).
i tend to forget we cant save each other and usually i get closer right to the ones in more need, to the point that it becomes unsustainable for both.

I totally relate. I always get distracted or put my foot in my mouth and unintentionally say things that get taken wrong way cause of my aspergers and add!


Sitting here with you scratching my head too.